Paul E. Waveman: "[Raptors-Suck-Chants]
Thank you - thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for your irrelevant opinion...but don't worry, I assure you that as long as Elton Brand is standing here, we will take as long as we deem appropriate. Ya see, when you stand next to Elton Brand, you can do ANYTHING you damn well please. And it pleases me this evening to educate all of you - you're welcome, by the way - to educate all of you on some historical facts - historical facts that led Elton Brand to the monumental decision of hiring ME as his agent.
You see, it was a historical fact that I -Paul E. Waveman- managed Michael Finley and groomed him to be Stone Cold Purple. It is a historical fact that I represented Chauncey Billups, and groomed him to be Mr. Purple in the Bank. It is a historical fact that I was the architect of a concept called spreadsheeting that spawned SLOE Attitude and created the multi-billion dollar conglomerate of sports entertainment that you see today. There is a moral to this story...and that moral is, I - better than any single one of you - can spot The Next Big Thing, and ladies and gentlemen, the next big thing is Elton Brand.
NCAA Heavyweight Champion Elton Brand. The Invincible Elton Brand. The Invulnerable Elton Brand. The Indestructible Elton Brand. The Impervious To Pain Elton Brand. Ladies and gentlemen, The Next Big Thing, ELLLLTTTTOON BRRRRRRRRAND! Now, in all fairness, please - don't take my word for it, no - as a matter of fact, if you would please turn your attention to the giant screen, you will see some footage that I assure you will amplify my point. Mr. Producer, please roll the footage.
Did I tell you? Ask North Carolina about Elton Brand! Ask the Maryland Terps about Elton Brand! Ask the UConn Huskies about Elton Brand! Ask any single one of his opponents about Elton Brand!"
THE NEXT BIG THING
