Ok guys, you’re here, you’re queer, and you want to hear what I’ve got to say. I don’t have a ton to say this year due to my awesome vacation
, but I’ll give you guys the bare minimum amount of time I have to get this presser done. So here we go…..
I’m feeling pretty good about the spot we are in right now. We feel that without a doubt our team has improved this offseason with the additions of Theo and guys like LJ and Randy Livingston. On top of that, we had another good training camp up here in Toronto. Chauncey Billups was already the top three point shooter in the league, now he is rated as the second or third best perimeter defender in the league. I like guys that are good at something, so it’s no surprise that I was willing to give a supermax to a guy that is among the best in the league in 2 categories. Thank you Chauncey for everything you have done for us and we look forward to another 5 years of excellence.
Of course we are also very proud of the work Elton Brand has done this offseason. He has improved offensively, in rebounding, and a lot in defense. Add that to the fact that he is quickly becoming one of the strongest guys in the league and we are very excited to see him make an Anthony Davis sized leap in his 3rd year. And Elton also has a few things to say……….
Elton Brand:
Every night we lay our heads down to dream, and that's when our minds really start to tick. We start remembering all these things, these horrible things, these travesties that have happened to us in our lives. But in our dreams we are superheroes. In our dreams we can fix everything. We dream of revenge, we dream of payback. Just like that man, just like that we wake up and that's when reality starts to set in. That's when we go to the mirror and we look into it and remember that we are not superheroes and that we can not fix everything. And so we bottle all this rage up inside of us and we go on living our dismal little lives as if nothing is wrong. But everything, everything, everything is wrong and I plan on fixing that.
You see, I used to have this mean old teacher and this teacher she used to look down upon me and she went to great measures to make sure that I remembered that I was a piece of trash and that I would never amount to anything in my life. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and that everything I believed in was a lie. So I went up to her and I said "Ms. Teacher Lady, what is it about you that makes you think that you're so much better than me, that makes you think you're so much smarter than me? Is it because your Mommy and Daddy paid for you to go to some fancy school so that you could wave this diploma around all of us? So that you could look down upon children and force feed them propaganda?" Well I say "na uh". She looked at me and she said "Bray Wyatt you are rotten, you stand for nothing." She said “Elton Brand the first time that I ever looked inside of your eyes I knew there was something inside of you. I knew that you were evil."
But I'm proud to say that right now somewhere that teacher lady is rotting inside of some retirement home filled up with all of her life's regrets. But I Elton Brand stand in front of you here today as a conqueror, as a revolutionary, as the man of a thousand truths and I say Miss teacher lady look at me right now. I got the whole damn world in my hands.
That is my payback. My ends justify my means.
Ummmm, thanks Elton.
But Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Easy, no
He won't have it, he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that but he's broke
He's so stagnant, he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again, yo
This whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Michael Finley is ready for this moment. The moment to break through and win this team a ring. The Hawks have shown some cracks and we are ready to fill those cracks with dynamite. We are a better team now, can any other of last year’s contenders say the same?
Any Questions?
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I still got all my fingers but somewhere I lost my mind.