A Thorough and Overly Researched List of Suggestions for the New Division Names

[JNR]

Before we begin: this is not a suggestion thread, and shouldn't be treated as such. This is a media article. That being said, if we are going to open up the names of our divisions to suggestions, some of these ideas could be useful to look through.

Alpha and Omega. Those are awesome conference names. They inspire a very grand, high-level feel that a serious endeavor such as sim league deserves. But zooming on one each conference, we find a glaring issue.

The Divisions. They're numbered.

And not numbered like "your days are numbered," although we've heard a lot of rumblings about the impending end of sim league. No, we have six divisions, and they're called Division 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. And excuse my language, but that is Fryeing lame. Imagine garbageman talking trash to Wig, saying "YES THAT'S RIGHT, I AM THE DIVISION 5 CHAMPION!" It sounds awful and corny. Imagine he and I talking about divisions on Horns and Fangs. We go from talking about the competitive Atlantic to saying "Well, Division 4 is pretty tight."

Also as a side bar, on the index right now the divisions actually say "Division 1 Division." As if the word and number by itself wasn't lame enough, we added the word AGAIN on the back end.

All of this is to say that we need a change, and we need it soon. But what do we change it to? The mix of teams have made is so that regional divisional names are out. Sure, we could keep the old names, but by that measure, the Spurs and Kings would be in the Atlantic division, and that would just look silly.

So I've come up with a few different themes that we should look into when giving these divisions new names. I will then take those themes and give my own specific naming suggestions for each division. I may have heard someone say some of these suggestions in the Skype chat, so if you feel that I stole your idea, whoops.

HOF PLAYER NAMES

I saw this suggested in Skype thread and really liked it. It reflects the rich history of PBSL and gives a touch of nostalgia to some teams whose best days are far -- far far far -- behind them. There are two options here: either randomly assign a HOF player to a division, or to name the division after a player who played for one of the teams currently in the division. I like this idea, but an immediate drawback to that is that it may be unfair to the Bucks, Wizards, Raptors and Jazz to play in Kemp Division. A suggestion could be for the division winner of the first season to select one player to name the division after.

Naming Suggestions:

Division 1: Malone Division
Division 3: Garnett Division
Division 5: Sprewell Division
Division 2: Mourning Division
Division 4: Kemp Division
Division 6: Hardaway Division

COLORS

This is a simple idea, but one that I think has a little bit of flair. It's easy to pick up and use. One drawback in my mind is that it may be hard to remember which color is which. When I think Central division, I can come up in my head with what teams are in that division. I don't think I'd be able to do the same for Orange division. It's possible to use the dominant color for most teams in a division, but that will probably cause too much confusion, especially since most teams use Blue in some form or fashion. For example, that would mean 1, 2, and 6 would be the Blue division. So yeah, that's out. For my suggestion I am going to just use random colors.

Naming Suggestions:

Division 1: Blue Division
Division 3: Yellow Division
Division 5: Red Division
Division 2: Orange Division
Division 4: Green Division
Division 6: Purple Division

NOTABLY BAD FORMER GM NAMES

This is probably a silly one, but I really like the idea of having some of the most notorious GMs who have disgraced our league get a bit of immortality. It would make for constant amusement as you would be reminded of certain hilarious moments every time you opened up the index.

Naming Suggestions:

Division 1: Bustahynes Division
Division 3: kb (kevinblazers) Division
Division 5: Nolaslim Division
Division 2: Beeball Reasons Division
Division 4: 42PhD Division
Division 6: Hornetstime 247 Division

PRESIDENTIAL LAST NAMES

Pretty simple: let's inject some history in our divisions. Take six of the more iconic presidential last names and assign them randomly to divisions. A drawback here is you might not like the President that you are in, and to that I say suck it up buttercup.

Naming Suggestions:

Division 1: Lincoln Division
Division 3: Reagan Division
Division 5: Eisenhower Division
Division 2: Cleveland Division
Division 4: Obama Division
Division 6: Washington Division

RANDOM ABSTRACT CONCEPTS

My last one is intentionally vague. Let's just slap some words that don't mean anything on each division. They can be emotions or manly-sounding words that make a team proud to fight in that division. And for those who care so much about Alphas, it can be a source of pride for you.

Naming Suggestions:

Division 1: Rage Division
Division 3: Power Division
Division 5: Fear Division
Division 2: Aggression Division
Division 4: Justice Division
Division 6: Violence Division

So do any of these feel good? Are there basic concepts you agree with, but have different specific suggestions? Let me know in the comments!

[false9]

SMH no food divisions

[IamQuailman]

5pts! (921 words)