Epic Beatdowns

[kucoach7]

This season my team handed out two super lopsided losses, as in, I don’t think I’ve ever seen point differentials that obscene before so I decided to look to see what have been the most lopsided games in our league’s illustrious history. There have been four wins by 70 or more points in the history of the league. Did one of my wins make the list? You’ll have to read on to find out.

70 points
12/18/2016
Detroit Pistons 87 at Atlanta Hawks 157
This was not a bad Pistons team. They went on to win 48 games. They were 17-7 at the time. Considering they had Anthony Davis, I guess that means they actually weren’t very good. So considering they didn’t have Anthony Davis in this game going against the 21-3 Hawks that went on to win 67 games, that spelled trouble. Honestly though, no Anthony Davis wasn’t really the problem here. These Hawks did not have elite scoring bigs or really scoring bigs at all. No, the biggest problems were on the perimeter. Aaron Brooks was a decent defender but he got ROASTED in this game and had a -58 +/-. The Hawks made 59% of the 37 3’s they took and shot 61% from the field, with Harden, Middleton, and DanRan pouring in a combined 72 points. The Hawks bench scored 84 points while the entire Pistons team put up 87. DanRan, Ed Davis, perennial Wig-loving discount contract guy Nate Robinson, and Aaron Afflalo all score 17 or more off the bench. The Hawks got off 100 shots, while the Pistons coughed up the ball 24 times and gave up 15 offensive rebounds, leading to only 74 shots for Detroit. We could just chalk this up to a good team not having its best player… but the Hawks went on to eliminate the AD-led Pistons in 5 games in the second round of the playoffs so I think it is safe to say the Hawks just owned them that year.

02/25/2027
Phoenix Suns 54 at Portland Trailblazers 124
This game is very different from the Pistons-Hawks game. That was a really good team beating an injured good team. This is a good team beating a bad team. That was a scoring avalanche that just couldn’t be matched. This was stifling defense against a bad offense. This one had trouble written all over it from the start. If your #2 scoring option is a young guy playing out of position at the point going against Ronald Small, you are in trouble. Ramsay Bolton, playing point guard with a combined rating of 61 for passing and handling went 1 for 11 this night, including 0 of 2 from behind the arc and turned the ball over 3 times. Considering the team had 24 turnovers (including 7 by Achiuwa) the 3 turnovers weren’t all that bad. But it all added up to a ghastly -59 +/-. They got off 79 shots compared to Portland’s 93. The biggest problem for the Suns in this one was just not making shots. As in, they made 22 field goals the entire game. They made 22 shots in 48 minutes. They scored 8 points in the second quarter. They shot 28% from the field and went 0 for 12 from 3. That is ugly. That is so ugly, the Blazers offense didn’t even have to play all that well. They shot 24% from 3 and only made 56% of their free throws. A good defense is the best offense… I guess.

73 points
2/4/2026
Utah Jazz 59 at Denver Nuggets 132
For the last two we have perfect storms, really bad teams playing really good teams on the road. As the Nuggets have done for the past few years, they combined amazing defense with amazing offense to utterly destroy anyone that dares to get in their way. Looking at this box score I see a combination of the two 70 point wins. The Jazz had an insanely bad offense last year. They averaged fewer than 90 points a game and shot 43% from the field for the season. This particular night in Denver they outdid themselves. They shot 29% and only shot the ball 72 times. This is what happens when you turn the ball over 22 times and get out rebounded on the offensive glass by 9… and the best player on the team is Kevin Whittaker. Interesting not here. Rodney Hood led the Jazz with 10 points. He was also on the Pistons team back in 2016 that got smashed by the Hawks. It might be a good idea to stay away from Rodney Hood. Meanwhile MVP Jeff Duren put up 30 points, 11 rebounds, and 8 assists on 11 for 17 from the floor. Jerry West did not play has well, only going 9 for 25 from the field but he chipped in 12 assists for good measure. Jerry West aside, the Nuggets made 47% of their threes in this game 56% of all shots.

74 points
04/01/26
Memphis Grizzlies 52 at Brooklyn Nets 126
With 52 points, the Grizzlies set a new standard for futility. They scored a whopping 6 points in the third quarter. Like the Suns this year, they missed all of the 3 point shots they attempted and only shot 28% overall from the field. Quite possibly the most amazing thing from this game is that the Grizz actually shot the ball 9 more times than the Nets. How do you shoot 9 more field goals and loose by 74? Well, a really good start is to miss every 3. Another great step towards the turning a basketball game into a masacre is to give a top 5 free throw shooting team 30 free throws. Combined those things with not playing great defense and a team that only shoots the ball 77 times can score 126 points because they make 60% of their field goals, including 45% from three. Marcus Smart, a guy that has never been a 45% shooter a single time in his career, going a perfect 7 for 7 from the field is really helpful too. Kight and Medina and put up their double doubles, Okogie can throw down an efficient 20 points and it’s over. It is kind of amazing what happens with teams as bad as these Grizzlies. Someone has to score so Peter Hartley, Floyd Hagerman, and Dean Salgado can all average 15 a game. For what it is worth though, Peter Hartley is a solid player. He was one of my top targets in free agency but he took the min from the better team (the Spurs), got a boost in TC (now has A’s in ORB, DRB, and PSD to go with B’s in INS and STL), and is now playing 12 minutes a game in the conference finals. Good luck, Petey!

[IamQuailman]

Word Count: 1143... BUT only getting 3 pts for this... BECAUSE YOU ARE CAPPED, SON! Good job!!!