2022-2023 Timberwolves Press Conference

[JNR]

No projector. No video package. No artificially-deepened voiceover. Just The JNR standing at a podium, leaning against it really, with an exasperated look on his face. He hasn't brushed his hair.

The JNR: Welcome to this year's press conference. I was getting ready to jazz up another big presentation for you guys. About expectations, and defense, and the effort it takes to win a championship. But let's be honest with ourselves. There was no chance of winning a title last year. There probably isn't a chance of winning it this year.

There are 30 teams in this league, and only one winner. In 33 seasons in this league, I have gotten to the point of being first loser once. Every other year I've been in the mix of all the other losers. The odds are stacked against a team to win a championship, and the odds get even worse when you consider the lengths other GMs are willing to go to win. Always on the phone, shrewdly stacking assets, never sleeping in favor of finding that winning trade that will put them over the top.

Me? I need my 8 hours every night.

He shrugs.

The JNR: I've done well here. I'm fourth in most wins all time, and depending on how the Warriors play this year I'll probably finish third this year. We've enjoyed success. So I'm pretty happy with this team without having to put all the backbreaking effort in. I'm here this year to tell you a few different concrete things.

1. Andrew Wiggins is nearing the end of his deal, and we are literally 50/50 on whether we want to keep him or trade him and start over.
2. We could try to win it all this year or blow it up. I don't care either way.
3. I'm not going anywhere. Even at this level of effort, I'm still better than a steward.

Let's focus on the actual team, shall we?

He yawns.

The JNR: Our core three of Gobert, Wiggins, and Pfeffer are back. Wiggins had another good camp. Pfeffer and Gobert didn't. In fact, most people had an awful camp. Maybe that is what is accounting for this particular lack of care this season. Could be a lot of things. In any case, we see this as our starting lineup:

PG: Keith Pfeffer
SG: Vernon Norman
SF: Andrew Wiggins
PF: Tyron Ferris
C: Rudy Gobert

With valuable contributions from Collins, Johnson, Adams and Houghton off the bench. We think we'll be good enough to win 45-48 games, make the Jazz sweat early before conceding them the division, and likely exit in the first round of the playoffs. Unless someone gives me a good offer on some players, in which case we'll win way less than that.

Any questions?

[NOLa.]

If you were to put money on it, what do you think is more likely: a rebuild by the trade deadline, or trading for another player to pair with Wiggins to make a serious push to knock off the Jazz and represent the West in the Finals?

[ballsohard]

After writing you’re 50/50 on wiggins, how long do you think it will take for the Bucks GM to write you concerning him?


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[JNR]

If you were to put money on it, what do you think is more likely: a rebuild by the trade deadline, or trading for another player to pair with Wiggins to make a serious push to knock off the Jazz and represent the West in the Finals?

The JNR: Knowing me, the former. It's easier to rebuild than win in this league.

[JNR]

After writing you’re 50/50 on wiggins, how long do you think it will take for the Bucks GM to write you concerning him?


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The JNR: I think this bridge has burned at this point, but I welcome any offers if they are good enough.

[WigNosy]

In your last podcast, you mentioned Tom Collins was kind of a failed experiment. What did you hope to see him grow into, and what are your plans now that he hasn't grown into that?

[JNR]

In your last podcast, you mentioned Tom Collins was kind of a failed experiment. What did you hope to see him grow into, and what are your plans now that he hasn't grown into that?

I wanted him to be the steady PF to be next to Gobert, and honestly I was looking forward to him being my third leading scorer. Now that that's failed...I don't really know. Let him walk, I guess.

[garbageman]

In talk of the leagues best players, Wiggins doesn't seem to come up very often. It's all AD and Love. Do you think Wiggins is better than Love right now at this moment?

[JNR]

In talk of the leagues best players, Wiggins doesn't seem to come up very often. It's all AD and Love. Do you think Wiggins is better than Love right now at this moment?

The JNR: It's very hard to say. The difference in positions makes it hard to compare. Forwards like Love rebound and score, while Wiggins is mostly known as a scorer, although he is a great perimeter defender. That being said, I think Wiggins can lead the league in scoring this year, which may change the narrative.

[false9]

If you did find some success early on, where would you like to upgrade?

[JNR]

If you did find some success early on, where would you like to upgrade?

The JNR: PF or wings for sure.

[false9]

If you did find some success early on, where would you like to upgrade?

The JNR: PF or wings for sure.

Have I got a guy for you...

[Soundwave]

If you had to pick one, what is the most important single attribute or skill of any lone player on your team?

[JNR]

If you had to pick one, what is the most important single attribute or skill of any lone player on your team?

The JNR: It's hard to go against the inside scoring of Wiggins. Being among the best inside players in the league is nothing to sniff at. But behind that I think it's Gobert's defensive rebounding because it's something this team so desperately needs.

[Darth Vegito]

So pre-season scoring leader Andrew Wiggins huh? 43 points per game isn't too shabby. There one word that isn't really said anymore. I think it's time we should bring it back now with the emergence of Wiggins. That is of course the title of "OP". There hasn't been an OP in the league since the likes of Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, and Alonzo Mourning. Those were like the three true OPs. Do you think it's time to add Andrew Wiggins to that list? And do you think the return of a true OP is harmful to the league?

[JNR]

So pre-season scoring leader Andrew Wiggins huh? 43 points per game isn't too shabby. There one word that isn't really said anymore. I think it's time we should bring it back now with the emergence of Wiggins. That is of course the title of "OP". There hasn't been an OP in the league since the likes of Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, and Alonzo Mourning. Those were like the three true OPs. Do you think it's time to add Andrew Wiggins to that list? And do you think the return of a true OP is harmful to the league?

The JNR: An OP is only an OP if he brings a team to or near a championship without much help, so I'll answer this in the postseason. As for your second question, it's only harmful for the league if the OP player doesn't play in Minnesota.

[ballsohard]

So pre-season scoring leader Andrew Wiggins huh? 43 points per game isn't too shabby. There one word that isn't really said anymore. I think it's time we should bring it back now with the emergence of Wiggins. That is of course the title of "OP". There hasn't been an OP in the league since the likes of Shawn Kemp, Karl Malone, and Alonzo Mourning. Those were like the three true OPs. Do you think it's time to add Andrew Wiggins to that list? And do you think the return of a true OP is harmful to the league?

You forgot Penny


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