And with the 2nd pick, the Milwaukee Bucks select... Devin Booker, University of Florida...
As he exits the stage and heads back to the dressing room, a crowd of reporters quickly gather around him. Devin Booker can't help but feel a little bit overwhelmed; this is nothing like he ever experienced in college where, as a as a sophomore, he averaged 17.4 points, 3.8 rebounds, and 2 assists per game. He's seen his fair share of publicity and endorsements during his time at the University of Florida, but he's never seen anything like this before. As he struggles for breathing room, the flock of reporters get ever closer to the star guard, shoving their microphones in his face.
Mac Smith: Devin, Devin — over here! Mac Smith, ESPN. You've just been selected with the 2nd overall pick by the Milwaukee Bucks, how do you feel right now?
Devin Booker: Well to be honest, this is all a little bit overwhelming.. But to answer your question, I'm very excited at the opportunity to play for the Milwaukee Bucks, one of the greatest teams this league has ever seen. I can't wait to get started.
Another reporter quickly jumps in front of the pack, shoving his microphone in Devin's face.
Lex Luper: Lex Luper, FOX Sports. Devin, you'll be playing alongside guards Elfrid Payton and Ronald Small. Do you feel any pressure to contribute immediately, or are you content with coming off the bench and learning as the season progresses?
Devin Booker: Well the main goal is to start immediately. I don't think any 1st round pick wants to come off the bench, especially when you're selected 2nd overall. But I'm not in charge of making that decision. That's ultimately up to coach and the front office. But no matter what they decide to do, I'm going to give it my all. I'm going to prove that I was both worthy and deserving of that 2nd overall selection.
Lex Luper is pushed aside and, once again, another reporter races to the front of the pack, eager to hear from the star prospect.
Porky Williams: Devin, the Milwaukee Bucks had an abysmal season last year, recording only 18 wins and 64 losses. Now that you're part of the team, how quickly do you think the Bucks can turn that record around and make a push for the playoffs?
Devin Booker: Well, I can only contribute so much. It'll be up to the front office — general manager IamQuailman — to put the remaining pieces of the puzzle together. Of course, I'm hoping that they'll go out and acquire the talent necessary for us to make that sort of playoff push ... But right now we're in no rush; we're clearly not in a "win now" state, and I'm fine with that. If we can contend for the finals in 2, maybe 3 seasons, I'll be utmost delighted. But as for me, I'm just going to focus on improving my basketball game and get better at Chinese checkers. You see, I love Chinese checkers. I spent much of my college career studying the game, schooling kids from all around the country. And much like Chinese checkers, you have to have foresight. You have to be ruthless, clinical, methodical at how you approach the game. When one player takes the lead, you have to calculate the appropriate response. And that's no different than basketball, to be honest.
Hooker Kendricks: Hook' Kendricks, Nickelodeon. Devin, you averaged 17.4 points, 3.8 rebounds, and 2 assists per game for the University of Florida whilst shooting 42% from the field and 38% from 3pt range. What are you looking to improve upon in your rookie season?
Devin Booker: I'm looking to improve upon a lot of things — everything, in fact. Because that's just how I am, you see. I'm a tedious worker who's never satisfied. I believe that God has graced me with supernatural abilities and elite-tier attributes, and I plan to improve upon those traits to the best of my ability, because when I'm out there on the basketball court, I'm a madman, I'm a machine, I'm an animal who won't settle for anything less than the very best, because I'm Devin Booker, goddamnit, the best to ever play the game of basketball. But to answer your question I'd really like to work on my free throw percentage.
Jack Dickolson: Jack Dickolson, Wisconsin Tribune — but you can call me 'Jack Dick.' What was your first impression of Jazz GM IamQuailman when you spoke to him on the phone earlier?
Devin Booker: We sproke briefly on the phone, but I could tell right away that he's a man of utmost passion. He simply loves the game — and he carries that with pride. As soon as I picked up the phone he began screaming and hollering at me, telling me that I better be the next best shooting guard that he's ever soon or else he's going to throw me on the ground and stomp on my "f*ckin' testicles" in the stadium parking lot. As somebody who also lives and breathes the game of basketball, I can respect his commitment to the team and passion for the game itself.
Jack Dickolson: And what did you tell him?
Devin Booker: I told him what anybody would tell him, that he doesn't need to worry about me — I'll do me — I told him, "do you." And that's when he hung up on me.
Booger Tomlinson: "Boogie" Tomlinson, Milwaukee Independent Rumors are circulating that your favorite pre-game snack is indeed peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, care to confirm or dispel these allegations?
Devin Booker: Oh yeah, that's me. I'm all about that life. I saw something on the internet last season about peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, and how if you cut them a certain way, they're supposed to bring you good luck. I started eating them before every game, and would you believe it, I'd always ball out. I don't know what it is — I don't know if it's something they put in the sandwiches themselves, or perhaps they truly are magical — but whatever it is, it works. That's something that's become tradition for me. I always joke and tell people that I craft my game on these sandwiches; I tell them that my jumper is smooth like peanut butter and sloppy like jelly. It almost always gets a laugh.
LeRoy Jenkins: LEEEEROOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEENKINS, CBS News. Enes Kanter just spoke with us directly, and he said he wrote a brief limerick about you that he wanted us to share. Here it goes:
What are your thoughts on this limerick, Mr. Booker?"There once was a guard named Devin,
Whose jumper was straight out of heaven,
As quick as Bruce Lee,
He'd sting like a bee,
When he came for dat ass in game 7."
Devin Booker: (laughs) Oh man, that's beautiful. I've never had somebody write a poem about me before, so thank you Enes, I really appreciate it. I think I might have to write that down. Wow, what an incredible poem. You'd almost think Charles Bukowski wrote it — it's that timeless.
Devin Booker's agent steps in and raises his arms in the air. "Final question, guys," he announces as the reporters erupt in sighs of discontent.
Pinky Anderson: Pinky Anderson, NBC Sports. Now that you've fulfilled your dreams of becoming a PBSL player, what do you want to do next?
Devin Booker's eyes light up with excitement.
Devin Booker: The same thing I do every night, Pinky. I want to try to take over the world.
Devin Booker steps aside and walks away with his agent as a rousing rendition of "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister plays in the far, distant background.
