Off-Season Recap: Pre-TC Winners and Losers

[IamQuailman]

Another offseason is close to coming to an end, and teams can't help but (hesitantly) rejoice their new additions. The shadow of training camp looms, but we always crown GMOYs and champions in pre-season... so why not crown winners and losers of the off-season before all those 31 year olds lose 50-60 rating points.

THE WINNERS:

Chicago Bulls
The team entered the season with 2 players: Victor Oladipo and Zach Lavine. They drafted John Guy in the draft, but that's not the needlemover we needed to see. But RFA was the start. Cap space can't dribble a ball, but it can fill a team with guys who can't dribble the ball. For a brief moment, the Bulls had signed Thomas Robinson, Jared Sullinger, Andre Drummond and the opportunity to match on Patrick Beverly. They exited RFA with just Thomas Robinson and Jared Sullinger and a buttload of capspace. This left them poised to still make a monster splash in UFA... and did they. Round 1 happened to coincide with the Bulls' GM's birthday, and apparently he used that as leverage in contract negotiations. Because he had probably one of the luckiest Round 1's of all time (since Rondo and Aldridge signings). This bastid signed not 1 BUT TWO players before resigning his own returning Danilo Galinari: Spencer "Mr. 4mil times 6" Hawes and Goran "Draggin Bags of Cash" Dragic. How did the Bulls repay Danilo for his loyalty and patience? They traded his behemoth contract to the Nets for Carmelo and his half-cost/yr for half the duration of the contract. (YOLO) The Bulls didn't like that they came in 3rd in the Central last season, and now look to be in the position to threaten the reigning Eastern Conference Champs, Indiana Pacers. Happy Birthday, indeed!

OJ Mayo
Warriors desperately scrambled to make moves before signing Jordan to his mega deal in UFA Round 1. Turns out they had the Lowry trade lined up, but the deal was 100% contingent on signing OJ Mayo to a 1-yr monster deal of $22mil. Does OJ Mayo deserve this contract? HELL no. But he just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and got paid because he was necessary to be filler. We'll see if OJ gets the same treatment next year. What a great life.

Portland Trailblazers
The Portland Trailblazers did it! They finally got FAs to come to Portland and play with Derrick Rose. Executives around the league were starting to wonder if the All-Star point guard was a lockerroom cancer and causing cohesion problems. But now that they've signed players, they are good to go! Only downside is that the big signings are all 30 years old or older... but hey this is a PRE-TC winners and losers article. And the Blazers team looks really nice right now.

Golden State Warriors
Talk about a quick turnaround. Blow it up one year. Acquire an all-defensive all-star-studded team in the next offseason. I don't know who outside of Rudy Gay, Lowry, and Br(i)an Stark will score points. But that team may only allow 70 PPG.. so if they only score 80PPG it won't really matter. Beverly signing is maybe a little too much for too long, but in the now... could be the best defensive squad the league has seen.

GM Ballsohard
Finally, hits #1 in the lotto... 1st time since Larry Johnson! Now just make sure you insurance your dudes!!

Miami Heat Tax Bill
It's very possible that the Miami Heat are NOT in the tax this season (assuming some scrubs get cut). And that alone is a huge win for the organization!

Detroit Pistons Ownership Situation
It appears that we actually have someone in the position to run this team as a function organization. In his first week as GM of the Pistons, Wombataholic has had more activity than xbhitterx and runningback15 combined. The league welcomes our new Wombat overlord.

THE LOSERS

Ron Artest, The Pelicans, and The Fans in New Orleans
Talk about peaks and valleys. Clearly Ron was just a means to an end for the Pelicans. They have gone on the record saying they would not be paying him this offseason and they didn't. Ron thought that his value was higher as a result of such a dominating playoff performance, but the offers never came. Instead he took an offer from the Bobcats. From top of the world to potentially top of the lotto. Eek. On the contrary, Cocky Nick Malone doesn't need RonRon back. He thinks it was a complete coincidence that the team went 23-5 to close out the season after acquiring Artest. In fact, they feel that a guard by committee tandem of Tony Allen and Kevin Martin can do just as good, IF NOT BETTER, than Artest alone. Those poor New Orleans fans... hopefully they aren't talking about Two Dats yet.

Milwaukee Bucks
Bucks do it again. They blow up a competent squad that had been together and played well for 3/4s of a season. This time, they shipped out All-Star, All-Defense Rudy Gay for a project player, a couple role players, and a pick that will more than likely be high teens at worst. Not to mention, they continue to shop any and all of their players, rotating "franchise cornerstones" on an off the block. There is no direction in Milwaukee, and that's probably because the GM doesn't know what direction he truly wants to go. Dark times could be coming for the Milwaukee Bucks.... and by dark times I mean low seeding in playoffs or late lotto picks.

Tax Evaders
The Celtics and Lakers, once dominant franchises/DINasties in SLOE, had a rough start to free agency. Outstanding tax bills ended up negating potentially franchise changing offers in RFA. Missing out on the chance to overpay roleplayers and offensively lacking bigs isn't the WORST thing, but when you have looming RFAs yourself (Lakers) or need to fill out your squad around your cornerstone (Celtics), it stings. Both teams recovered in UFA, but missing out on some youth always sucks.

Phoenix Suns
Kevin Love and Cap Space... what can go wrong?! Well, just about everything. They were able to hit on some players in Round 2, but the rag tag crew of 30 somethings and no point guard are signs that all point to a .500 record.

Guard Play in OKC
The Thunder made it well-known around the league that they wanted to make Isaiah Thomas their star guard. And then they moved McCullom for a budding star Center in Nikola Vucevic. Thomas, Parker, and Vucevic make a great foundation, but there was still some talent lacking in the SG and PF/C spot. Well, in UFA, the Thunder nailed the shit outta that PF/C spot. They brought in Dwight Howard and Marcin Gortat for depth. But what about the 2-guard. Smart is penciled in as a starter, but is he enough to fill the void left wide open by CJ?

[ballsohard]

Dikembe Was the #1 pick, not Larry Johnson sir; fun article though

[IamQuailman]

Dikembe Was the #1 pick, not Larry Johnson sir; fun article though

oops. But close enough. lol LJ >>>>> Dikembe

[RPF]

Dikembe Was the #1 pick, not Larry Johnson sir; fun article though

Quoted before THE FINAL DELETION

[NickMalone77]

Fun article, Doug. The envy in those eyes isn't a good look, m8.

[Inner_GI]

You can claim 5 points