GM enters the press room in a suit missing a pant leg and no shirt under his jacket...
Media: Holy shit.... is he... is he okay?
Inner_GI: So as we gather here for our yearly pre season press conference, I want to take a quick moment to acknowledge some front office moves we made last night... I think. Can't really remember.
Effectively immediately our head trainer has been fired. Literally he's been fired. Here is a picture of his house.
Why you might ask, well I'll point you to the corpses of Jeremy Lin and Chandler Parsons.
They combined to lose 107 points in their current rating this offseason. For reference AK47 at the age of 33 lost 16... DED.
Inner_GI: So besides the horrific training camp the Knicks had, there were a ton of moves this offseason that we should mention.
1. We won the draft lotto and took Nikola Jokic with the first pick to shock most of the league. By the way, he had a good camp. Thank God.
2. We drafted Clarkson with the 6th pick of the draft
3. Later in the draft we traded up to select Tim Frazier as a project at the PG position.
4. After the draft, we packaged up Jordan Clarkson (who had a great camp... Frye me) and the Mavs 2016 for Wesley Matthews (who basically didn't show up to TC... I think I'm happy about that) This move was to find a #1 option for the team, and to give Kent Bazemore a great mentor to learn from.
5. After the draft and striking out in the first 2 rounds of UFA, we set our sights on the PFs of the league, and after whoring my body out for days, we decided to ship Nikola Vucevic and the Wizards first for John Henson and Chandler "I don't try" Parsons. So yea we got <expletive deleted> in the ass on that one.
6. Then TC came....
Knicks are ded. Maybe these players will learn from their mistakes, but if they don't I'll burn their houses down next. Frye THEM.
Any questions?