Wilbon: Family program, Tony! Family program!
Kornheiser: I’m bulletproof, baby. Welcome to PTI, folks. Today we’re going to talk about the early surprises of the PBSL, we’ll talk about Gilbert Arenas’s leg, and Wilbon and I will go head to head in oddsmakers. Spoiler alert: I’m gonna crush him.
Wilbon: You wish.
Kornheiser: Crush him!
Wilbon: First let’s get to our headlines.
HEADLINES
FATLANTIC
Wilbon: We’re a month into the season, Tony, and it looks like one division is rising above the rest. In the past the Midwest and Pacific have been strong, and a few years ago the Central was the place to be. Right now, though, it looks like the Atlantic is king. The Celtics, Sixers, Heat, and Nets are all out to 10 wins already: there are only four other teams with 10 wins IN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE! We expected to see the Sixers and Celtics, but it’s the Heat and Nets who are the true surprises. Which stands out to you more, Tony?
Kornheiser: First of all I want to say the only Kings in PBSL are in Sacramento, and they’re the champs so show some respect. The Nets did a great job over the past two seasons accumulating talent, and now that they have Vince Carter and Pau Gasol, you had to imagine they’d do well. But it’s the Heat that really catch my eye. LeBron James may not be the prodigy we thought he’d be coming out of high school, but he’s averaging 21 a game and really playing well off of Allen Iverson. Sure, the corpses of Rose and Kemp are still effective players, but you wouldn’t have convinced me that the Heat were a playoff team coming into this season based on past experience.
Wilbon: I think both teams are actually about as good as I thought they’d be going into the year, and I’m much higher on the Heat than you. You talk about LeBron as if he’s some failure. He’s not! He’s a fourth year player who is going to be a multi-time all star and can pretty much run the length of the court in five steps. The Heat are great. But you know what surprises me, Tone? THE KNICKS ARE .500. THE NEW YORK KNICKS. Their new GM has done a great job saving them from the tire fire they used to be. THE KNICKS!
POOF
Kornheiser: That’s the sound of the Orlando Magic fading from relevance. They accumulated a tax bill that would make Wesley Snipes blush. Then they traded every asset after they failed to make the Finals. And now they’re sitting at 4-11 without their own pick in a draft that could have landed them the transcendent superstar that would get them back on their feet. So do you applaud them for shooting for the stars or mock them for the shuttle exploding in the hangar?
Wilbon: I’d like to do both, Tony. Can I do both? Look, you win by taking chances in this league. And they took a huge gamble. It didn’t pay off, and now they’re in a lot of trouble. But you have to admire them for doing it. Some teams never take risks, and that’s why they never even make the playoffs. So yes, it was dumb, but at least they did something.
Kornheiser: That was a diplomatic and reasonable answer and I HATED IT. The Magic are chumps, Wilbon. They made dumb financial decisions and now they have nothing. What do they have? They have Mike Miller and a 35 year old Penny Hardaway. There’s no hope for the present because they’re terrible. There’s no hope for the future because they don’t have their 07 or 09 picks. And that pick this year is going to go to pretty good Lakers team. AND they still haven’t paid their tax bill. It’s a failure and failures deserve to be mocked. MOCKED!
JAZZ HANDS
Wilbon: Speaking of good teams with a bad team’s draft pick, the Utah Jazz are the best team in basketball after November. They’re 14-3, they have the second best defense and Tim Duncan is playing like a man on a mission. Plus they have the Grizzlies pick, which is going to be great. Now, the Jazz are famous for looking good and then sputtering, and last year’s Western Conference Final bid notwithstanding, they haven’t made a ton of noise in the Duncan era. Does that change this year?
Kornheiser: NOPE. Sorry, but I’m from Missouri, the Show Me State, and you have to show me you can win before I believe you.
Wilbon: You’re from Lynbrook.
Kornheiser: It was a bit, Mike. Point is, the Jazz are playing well now, but they’ve already played 11 of their 41 home games in the first month of the season. That’s twenty five percent for you mathies out there. They’re thin at point guard, don’t have a bench, and who knows how long before their coach messes it up. 14-3 is nice, but wake me up when they win the West.
Wilbon: You’re right, they haven’t shown anything yet. Before last season, neither had the Kings. Teams don’t win til they win.
Kornheiser: Oh that was inspirational, Mr. Lombardi. Got any more?
Wilbon: Yeah I got more. More as in 27 points and 11 boards a game. That’s Duncan’s stat line. He keeps playing like this and they keep defending, they win the division. Who’s going to catch em? Nobody, that’s who.
Kornheiser: My money’s still on the Mavs in the Midwest.
Wilbon: That was a lot of m’s.
Kornheiser: Mmhmm.
Wilbon: We’ll be right back with Oddmakers.
