*Delivered from the steps of Kemper Arena. Microphone volume unnecessarily high. Glares at every media member equally.*
Right. We’re back.
New season. New opportunity. Same league full of GMs who think "team culture" means offering their star player a Pizza Hut coupon and a pair of socks. But here in Kansas City? We actually do things. Wild concept, I know.
Last Season’s Ending — Or as I Call It, “Character Development”
Let’s not sugarcoat it — last season ended like a bad blind date. We got swept in the first round by Denver, and I’m pretty sure two of our starters were still trying to find the arena in Game 3. But credit where it’s due: Denver took our lunch money, ate our fries, and still had the nerve to wink at us on the way out. Congrats, Nuggets — hope that banner keeps you warm at night.
But here’s the thing: we were close. Not in the scoreboard sense — we were very much “not close” there — but in the sense that our core showed real promise. Gminski proved he’s not just a pretty stat sheet, Leavell ran the show like a vet, and Natt? Let’s just say I’d take him in a back alley fight against half this league.
We were a piece or two away. So guess what? We got the pieces.
Offseason Moves – Because I Don’t Believe in Waiting Around
This offseason, we didn’t sit around journaling about our feelings. We got to work.
We brought in Bill Laimbeer, a man who rebounds like the ball owes him money. The moment he landed in KC, the entire frontcourt got tougher, meaner, and somehow… more hydrated? Don’t know what that’s about. I’ll take it.
Then there’s Fred Brown, who still has one of the purest jumpers in the league. He’ll come off the bench and remind teams what pain feels like. Veteran leadership, locker room presence, and — bonus — he can hit a free throw without flinching.
Oh, and Jay Vincent. He came in hungry and just got even quicker in training camp. Literally. We bumped his Quickness to 64, which means he can now outrun at least 3 of our assistant coaches. His jumper’s developing too — he’s gone from “C-grade chaos” to “B-grade sniper in waiting.” He’s the kind of second-unit weapon that gets other GMs throwing spreadsheets across the room.
Preseason Takeaways – AKA “Confirmation We Know What We’re Doing”
Preseason was a good time. Well — it was a good time for us. We crashed the boards like a team trying to demolish the glass industry. Top 3 in rebounds, steals, and forced turnovers. That’s not just effort — that’s identity.
Gminski continues to look like the cornerstone we built him to be. Laimbeer is bullying people so hard I’m expecting a league memo. Bridgeman gave us exactly what we needed at the 2 — and then there’s Allen Leavell, the quiet killer. No Instagram. No drama. Just buckets and ball movement.
We also confirmed a few things:
- Fred Brown? Still got it.
- Jay Vincent? Weaponized now.
- George McGinnis? Off the bench, big body, smarter than half the people asking me questions right now.
The Outlook – Prepare Accordingly
Let me be clear: we are not rebuilding. We are not resetting. This is not a developmental year. This is a go get it, break the doors down, no excuses, all gas season.
Our goals are simple:
- Win the Midwest
- Win a playoff series
- Make the league deeply uncomfortable about the fact that we’re for real
So go ahead, doubt us. Mock the Gminski minutes. Roll your eyes at Laimbeer and call us “old school.” Meanwhile, we’ll just keep crashing the boards, punching you in the paint, and making your analytics guy cry into his spreadsheet.
We’re here. We’re ready.
And this time, we brought the sledgehammer.
Open for questions.........
