Last year there was a video production. This year, however, there’s just a dusty press conference room. Two banners hang above the podium:
After a few moments, GM The JNR walks into the room. He stops and looks up at the banners, then smiles.
The JNR: TWO TIME! TWO TIME!
He settles in front of the podium.
The JNR: Thank you for coming. Last year was a remarkable year. We got further than we ever have before. We won our first division title in Minnesota Timberwolves history. We had the best record in the PBSL by a significant margin. I have no shame in saying that last year, we were the best team in the league.
But that doesn’t win you rings.
He sighs heavily.
The JNR: We were unceremoniously swept by the champion Warriors. No matter how good our team was, it was hard to stop one dominant player. He’s the best player in basketball history for a reason, and we found out that reason very clearly.
So what now? What does the General Manager of the Year do?
Well, in this case, he makes an ambitious move that doesn’t work out.
He shakes his head.
The JNR: Robot Pack. Our leader, our first draft pick, our dear friend. He was a big part of this team, and we wanted him to remain, but we wanted to go big. So we offered him less money and tried to get a big name free agent to join us. It didn’t work, and Robot felt insulted. So he went to a division rival.
I wish Robot all the best in his career with Dallas, and I hope he can match the success he found here as a two-time all star, three-time league leader in steals, and part of the best goddamn team in the league last year.
Moving on from Robot will be hard. But we will not go on empty handed. After a terrible first round of free agency, we stepped it up big time in the second and third rounds. We were able to bring in Mookie Blaylock, Mark Jackson, Sherman Douglas, Tim Legler, and we brought back our good friend Doug Overton, who played remarkably well as a starter last year. Add in the depth we made with signings such as Charles Barkley, Greg Foster, and Kevin Edwards, and our team is probably deeper than it ever has been.
This is not last year’s team, a team that can win on pure talent. We don’t have a starting lineup that makes opponents quiver in fear anymore. And the West seemingly got stronger by the day this offseason. But with the depth we have as well as All-PBSL players Grant Hill and Chris Webber, we have a team that is still capable of making noise. We have the experience now of getting one step further in our quest. And I think with the right moves and gameplan, we can continue on our fantastic journey.
We’ll open up the floor for questions now.