Timberwolves Press Conference (Featuring an actual Timberwolf)

[JNR]

Something is wrong, you immediately notice.

The JNR is distracted, wearing sweatpants, and is wearing a lapel mic as he chases a large wolf across the stage.

The JNR: Before you ask, yes I got a wolf. It's the best thing ever, I love it to pieces, but sometimes it prevents me from doing my normal duties.

The JNR feeds the wolf a lamb leg.

The JNR: But we have our obligations so here goes.

Last year our team was one of the worst in the league. We obtained the third pick and we were beyond fortunate that Mitchell Robinson, the highest player on our draft board by far, was available at third. We picked him and sent our fifteenth pick for cash considerations.

Our free agency was not particularly exciting, though we were very happy to bring in Rich Paul for scoring and experience.

Training camp was mostly great. Robinson and OG Anunoby had wonderful camps and look like they're putting in the work necessary to become great players someday. Unfortunately, Harker and Cheatham had some setbacks, but they should be solid contributors for us.

Our planned starting lineup will be

C: Harvey Daniels
PF: Simon Pheonix
SF: Rich Paul
SG: Zylan Cheatham
PG: Odell Raspberry

With Lyle, OG, and Harker providing valuable minutes off the bench. We don't see ourselves as contenders by any means. Possibly another bottom 4 finish.

Hey, the Timberwolf didn't cause that many...

The wolf eats a reporter.

The JNR: Crap. Any questions?

[NickMalone77]

You were pretty outspoken about teams joining the Timberwolves "Eat My Ass Club" last year. Do you have a preference on which teams you'd love to frequent the notorious club or any goals on which teams you'd love to see added this year that weren't members last season?

[Keepit100]

OGA had another terrific TC - how much longer do you plan to wait before you send him out for meaningful minutes?

[JNR]

You were pretty outspoken about teams joining the Timberwolves "Eat My Ass Club" last year. Do you have a preference on which teams you'd love to frequent the notorious club or any goals on which teams you'd love to see added this year that weren't members last season?

The best part of the club is that there are no expectations. I don't want to have certain members join because it'll be disappointing if they don't. So I just see what happens every sim and celebrate when necessary.

[JNR]

OGA had another terrific TC - how much longer do you plan to wait before you send him out for meaningful minutes?

Despite not being a terribly talented team, we are deep and talented in the frontcourt. And I believe in playing the best players. So OG will get some minutes this year but as long as there are guys like Pheonix and Daniels on the roster he'll have to wait his turn.

[TheSyndicate]

Where in your rebuild are you/when do you see cashing in some of the chips you've acquired?

[garbageman]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: Odell Rasberry looks like he's at the top of his game. Despite the rest of the team not being ready, what are your expectations for his numbers this season? Do you see him making the all star team?

[greepleairport]

How many seasons before you're back at the top of your division / conference? Do you think you'll make the playoffs this year?

[JNR]

Where in your rebuild are you/when do you see cashing in some of the chips you've acquired?

Depending on the pick this year...this year?

[JNR]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: Odell Rasberry looks like he's at the top of his game. Despite the rest of the team not being ready, what are your expectations for his numbers this season? Do you see him making the all star team?

Based on the first sim, no he isn't an all star. I see 16 and 9 as his peak.

[JNR]

How many seasons before you're back at the top of your division / conference? Do you think you'll make the playoffs this year?

No chance of playoffs this year. But I can see myself being there in two seasons.