Lowe: Woj and Lowe here with your playoff preview on the Woj & Lowe Playoff Special, which has to be the lowest budget show ever produced by ESPN.
Woj: My sources within ESPN inform me that people like hearing what comes out of our faces but they don’t like looking at our faces.
Lowe: Whoa, Woj. Did you just call me ugly?
Woj: One source referred to your looks as “the lesser of two evils.”
Lowe: Don’t listen to them Woj, you’re a handsome man. You’re underrated. But seriously, when ESPN wants us to do one of these shows, they just set up a little table, a TV with our names on it, and two mics on someone else’s set. That’s it. Our show is like an aged superstar that keeps getting overpaid by bad teams. They’re like, “Well we can’t win so let’s just plug this guy in and see if we can sell some jerseys”
Woj: We’re Giannis is LA
Lowe: That’s right. I’m not sure my analogy works out but let’s go with it. Giannis, only a 3 time all-star by the way. Let’s get this show started. Today, we’re going to talk about the Alpha division. Top line, Bulls Rockets, what’s going on in this one, Woj?
Woj: To me, the most interesting thing about the Bulls heading into the playoffs is Silky Johnson and A.C. Williams. They’re both in the final year of their rookie contract. The Bulls already have $109 million tied up in their big three. Neither one of them has shown that they are worthy of a max contract, YET. Can these two guys make a big enough impact on the Bulls postseason, to bring a championship back to Chicago and to earn max offers from teams and will Bulls match it they do?
Lowe: You didn’t talk about the series at all, Woj. We still have the most important basketball of the year to play and you’re already talking about free agency. This is the point of free agency, to win in the playoffs.
Woj: I like the Bulls in this one.
Lowe: Yeah, the Rockets are going to get steamrolled in this one. Still disappointed in Josh Hart, by the way. I’m not sure this guy’s got it. Okay, let’s move on to the 2-7 matchup, Thunder-Heat. Is this a slightly more interesting matchup?
Woj: Yes, it is. The Thunder had a tremendous season. They have a really good team. Pistol Pete has arrived. He’s an All-star. BUT, they’ve never won a playoff series. Not this group of guys. Not this coach.
Lowe: The, Heat, of course, have also not won a playoff series with their bunch.
Woj: But they’ve got a cooch who has been here before. Logpmess has made the conference finals multiple times, won the conference once. He’s a guy who know how to get it done in the playoffs.
Lowe: Hasn’t made it out of the first round since 2015. I think that streak continues this year. They got swept by the Thunder in the regular season. I’ll take the Thunder in 5.
Woj: I give the Heat a chance. I’ll say Thunder in 6.
Lowe: Okay, Woj is high on the 44 win Heat. Let’s talk about the Nuggets and Spurs. Only three wins separated these two teams in the regular season. The Nuggets are one of the better defensive teams in the league, the Spurs defence is just awful but their offense is one of the best in the league. Two very different styles of ball being played with these two teams. What do you see here, Woj?
Woj: I see Bryce Dejean-Jones and Jeff Bower living up to the massive contracts Eazy gave them. GDJ is the best point guard in the game at this point. He’s led the league in steals and assists each of the last two years. He is as efficient as anybody.
Lowe: Made 39% of his threes this year, by the way.
Woj: Jeff Bower wasn’t an All-star this year. A lot of people point to that and say he wasn’t worth the super max. He’s still incredibly efficient, incredibly athletic.
Lowe: You haven’t even mentioned D-Will. Who casually hung 26 points a game this year. All-league. All-star.
Woj: Right. The problem I see with the Spurs is their lack of a front court. The Nuggets have Aaron Donald and Alvin Briseno. This could get ugly.
Lowe: They split the season series.
Woj: They didn’t have Briseno for the first three games He scored 47 the last time they met.
Lowe: Yikes. Although they did lose...
Woj: Look, the Nuggets have one of the few backcourts that can hang with the Spurs. Jerry is All-league, All-defense. Devin Booker is a solid defender with the athleticism to hang with Bower.
Lowe: Otto Porter Jr. has been stopping guys like Williams for at least 150 years. At least. I still like the Spurs in this one but it is going to be close. We have two teams full of former champions. This is going to be a fun series. I like the Spurs in 7.
Woj: I’m going with the Nuggets in 6. Briseno is going to have over 30 points a game in this series. Maybe over 35.
Lowe: Okay, now I’m excited for the playoffs. You’ve got me doubting my Spurs pick. This is what basketball is all about. Let’s wrap up with the Blazers and Hawks. We get a rematch from the first year last year. Blazers had home court last year as well and just got WALLOPED by the Hawks in five games. Does history repeat itself?
Woj: I’m going to say it does. Look, the Blazers have to be disappointed. They broke the bank this year in a way they’ve never done before and they end up in the exact same place they were last year, facing a really really good Atlanta team in a first round series that is anything but a gimme.
Lowe: Yeah, you’ve got to feel bad for the Blazer faithful. This is the best team they’ve ever had and they might not make it out of the first round.
Woj: My sources tell me the locker room is not in good shape. Guys like Small and Bagley and Jackson have been building up to this for years and it doesn’t look good. Wiggins and Tatum know the team can’t afford to bring them back next year so they are starting to look around for landing spots. This team is not in a good place mentally.
Lowe: It’s not even clear they are going to be able to bring back Jackson and Bagley, their franchise guys. They’ve got to pay the tax man first. Even if they could, should they? Wiggins and Tatum are better than Jackson. Jackson is a little old for a guy looking for a third big contract.
Woj: It is a mirky situation at best. I’ve got one reason I’m taking the Hawks in this one, WigNosy. We’re talking about an all-time great GM against an all-time loser. That may not seem like it should matter, but it does. I predict Wig will out strategize Ku and the Hawks send the Blazers home early again.
Lowe: You’re heartless, Woj. Heartless. Look, last year the Hawks had the better offense, the Blazers the better defense. The better offense won out. This year the Blazers have the better offense and defense. The Blazers took three out of four in the regular season. The only loss came in Atlanta by 8. Andrew Wiggins when 0-8. He shot 50% from the field this year, 43% from deep. If he has a normal game, the Blazers win that one. I say the Blazers win in 7 but I give them a chance against the Bulls in the next round. I’m going to wait and see but I want to believe in the Blazers. I don’t want to see them lose again this year.
Woj: They are going to be an interesting team to watch this offseason with so many big contracts coming off the books.
Lowe: Just stop, Woj. Let’s just enjoy the playoffs.
Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Producer: Odds Maker. What is the chance the Cavs win a game against the Magic
Wilbon: I’m going to go with zero percent, Tony. And let me tell you why. Because th Cleveland Cavaliers have NO BUSINESS being in the playoffs. This team was 12 games under .500! They have a negative 5 point differential! This isn’t a playoff team in the best basketball league in the world! This is like a Big East champion.
Tony: I don’t know, Wilbon, Nova looks good this year.
Wilbon: No the don’t. Do you even watch basketball.
Tony: Sure, it is the one with the bent sticks right? Look, the Magic are really, really good. The Cavs are bad. This is easy. Zero percent chance they win a game. Try harder next time, producers.
Producer: What is the chance the Sixers “upset” the T-Wolves?
Tony: Let me just start by saying that the playoff seeding in this league is dumb. The Raptors won 7 more games than the Wolves and yet Minnesota gets home court advantage and the Raptors have to go on the road against a 56 win Wizards team. That’s just dumb.
Wilbon: Couldn’t agree more, Tony.
Tony: The Philadelphia 76ers effectively do not have a coach. At a time of the year when coaching matters a whole lot more than the rest of the year, this is a bad thing. The Timberwolves, on the other hand, have a championship coach on the sidelines and their totally undeserved home court advantage. I’m going to give the Sixers a 15% chance of upsetting the Wolves.
Wilbon: That is weak, Tony. The Sixers don’t have a coach? They don’t have a point guard! They won game two on a flukey couple of plays in overtime and so they have home court advantage now.I think the T-Wolves right the ship next game. I give the Sixers 0% chance of scoring the upset.
Tony: A bold man for bold times.
Wilbon: What does that even mean?
Tony: I have no clue. What’s next?
Producer: Toss Up!
Tony: Oh great, I love this game. I always win.
Wilbon: Okay, Tone, don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m coming for you this time.
Producer: Toss up! Who wins the Wizards-Raptors series?
Wilbon: Oh great, here we go.
Tony: The Washington Wizards. My dear Wizards. Will win this series. This team is absurdly deep. They had seven guys average double figures. If it wasn’t for Andrew Wiggins, Nathan Thompson would be getting a lot of love as a sixth man of the year. The Raptors are the opposite of the Wizards. They are the most top heavy team in the league. I say the Wizards’ bench runs them off the court.
Wilbon: Tony, I feel your love for the Wizards. I know you have to be loyal but do you really believe they can stop Ironside for 7 games? This guy is unstoppable. He had a .716 true shooting percentage this season. Do you know how absurd that is?
Tony: That’s good, right?
Wilbon: He scored 1.7 points per shot. That’s not good. That is other-worldly. It’s super human. The Wizards just don’t have the top end talent to stop a guy like Ironside or to exploit the Raptors’ weaknesses. I got the Raptors in this one.
Producer: Toss up! Do the Pelicans and Bucks complete a trade during their series?
Wilbon: They can’t. It’s against the rules!
Tony: But they’ll try.
Wilbon: You bet they’ll try. Dealin’ Doug and Nick “Let’s make a deal” Malone probably already have a trade worked out.
Tony: They’ve probably already worked out the trade back after they regret the initial trade. I’m not sure they are even watching the games.
Wilbon: Do they even know who is on their rosters? The turnover with these two teams is comical.
Tony: The Bucks are young but they look good this year.
Wilbon: You’re right about that, Tone.
Wilbon: I’m going to go with zero percent, Tony. And let me tell you why. Because th Cleveland Cavaliers have NO BUSINESS being in the playoffs. This team was 12 games under .500! They have a negative 5 point differential! This isn’t a playoff team in the best basketball league in the world! This is like a Big East champion.
Tony: I don’t know, Wilbon, Nova looks good this year.
Wilbon: No the don’t. Do you even watch basketball.
Tony: Sure, it is the one with the bent sticks right? Look, the Magic are really, really good. The Cavs are bad. This is easy. Zero percent chance they win a game. Try harder next time, producers.
Producer: What is the chance the Sixers “upset” the T-Wolves?
Tony: Let me just start by saying that the playoff seeding in this league is dumb. The Raptors won 7 more games than the Wolves and yet Minnesota gets home court advantage and the Raptors have to go on the road against a 56 win Wizards team. That’s just dumb.
Wilbon: Couldn’t agree more, Tony.
Tony: The Philadelphia 76ers effectively do not have a coach. At a time of the year when coaching matters a whole lot more than the rest of the year, this is a bad thing. The Timberwolves, on the other hand, have a championship coach on the sidelines and their totally undeserved home court advantage. I’m going to give the Sixers a 15% chance of upsetting the Wolves.
Wilbon: That is weak, Tony. The Sixers don’t have a coach? They don’t have a point guard! They won game two on a flukey couple of plays in overtime and so they have home court advantage now.I think the T-Wolves right the ship next game. I give the Sixers 0% chance of scoring the upset.
Tony: A bold man for bold times.
Wilbon: What does that even mean?
Tony: I have no clue. What’s next?
Producer: Toss Up!
Tony: Oh great, I love this game. I always win.
Wilbon: Okay, Tone, don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m coming for you this time.
Producer: Toss up! Who wins the Wizards-Raptors series?
Wilbon: Oh great, here we go.
Tony: The Washington Wizards. My dear Wizards. Will win this series. This team is absurdly deep. They had seven guys average double figures. If it wasn’t for Andrew Wiggins, Nathan Thompson would be getting a lot of love as a sixth man of the year. The Raptors are the opposite of the Wizards. They are the most top heavy team in the league. I say the Wizards’ bench runs them off the court.
Wilbon: Tony, I feel your love for the Wizards. I know you have to be loyal but do you really believe they can stop Ironside for 7 games? This guy is unstoppable. He had a .716 true shooting percentage this season. Do you know how absurd that is?
Tony: That’s good, right?
Wilbon: He scored 1.7 points per shot. That’s not good. That is other-worldly. It’s super human. The Wizards just don’t have the top end talent to stop a guy like Ironside or to exploit the Raptors’ weaknesses. I got the Raptors in this one.
Producer: Toss up! Do the Pelicans and Bucks complete a trade during their series?
Wilbon: They can’t. It’s against the rules!
Tony: But they’ll try.
Wilbon: You bet they’ll try. Dealin’ Doug and Nick “Let’s make a deal” Malone probably already have a trade worked out.
Tony: They’ve probably already worked out the trade back after they regret the initial trade. I’m not sure they are even watching the games.
Wilbon: Do they even know who is on their rosters? The turnover with these two teams is comical.
Tony: The Bucks are young but they look good this year.
Wilbon: You’re right about that, Tone.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Greeny: Good morning everyone and welcome to Get Up!. I’m Mike Greenberg here with Jalen Rose as usual. Laura is mercifully out on vacation so we welcome back the vastly superior Michelle Beadle. Welcome back, Michelle.
Michelle: Thanks, Greeny. Anytime I step onto a set and don’t have to share it with Colin Cowherd is a great day.
Greeny: Yeah, I can imagine you feel that way. We also have Richard Jefferson with us this morning. Guys, the big story this morning is that there is only one series tied up and it is one that no one, and I mean no one, saw coming. The Bulls and Rockets are tied up 2-2. Jalen what do you make of it.
Jalen: I’m not surprised. In fact, I’ve been saying all along, ‘Look out for the Rockets. They are sneaky good.’
Greeny: Just to be clear you know we are talking about the Houston Rockets that finished with a 0.4 point differential. You know it is not the 90’s when they had Shaq. Right?
Jalen: Yes, I know. Who did the Rockets sign this offseason? Who was their big free agent?
Michelle: Alton Hill
Jalen: That’s right. And who did they sign him away from? The Chicago Bulls. That signing made the Bulls worse and the Rockets better so we should have seen this coming.
Richard: That’s not how this works, Jalen! You have to consider all the moving parts. Yes, the Bulls lost Hill but they replaced him with A.C. Williams, Silky Johnson, Nassir Little, Karl-Anthony Towns. There is no way the Rockets are the better team!
Jalen: Then why did they just destroy the Bulls two games in a row?
Richard: Because they were at home! Because Cameron Payne had the game of his life and scored 17 points in game 4! Because Silva had a couple of off games!
Greeny: Let’s talk about Silva. Just 12 points and 6 rebounds in game 4. This guy was unstoppable in the regular season. What’s going on here?
Jalen: My sources tell me…
Michelle: (Laughing) I always love Jalen’s sources.
Jalen: Why are you laughing?
Michelle: Because your sources are always wrong.
Jalen: My sources are telling me Silva is not actually injured. He is unhappy in Chicago and wants out.
Michelle: He is unhappy on a team that has won 60 games three seasons in row?
Jalen: It’s not just him. Silky and A.C. are done in Chicago as well. They are already scouting out free agent destinations.
Greeny: So you’re saying there is essentially a mutiny in the Bulls locker room.
Jalen: Pretty much. I think the Rockets are going to win this series.
Michelle: You do realize that for that to happen the Rockets will have to win a game in Chicago.
Jalen: I think they will win on the road in Chicago in game 5 and win at home in game 6.
Richard: That’s just ridiculous. The Bulls are the better team, even without Silva.
Michelle: Yeah, I agree with Richard. It might take 7 games but the Bulls win this series and probably the conference.
Greeny: Okay, a hot take from Jalen to start the day. Michelle, what about the other series? Do you see any team coming back and forcing a game 7?
Michelle: I actually think we’ll see two other game 7s. I think the Thunder could actually win their series. Even being down 1-3. This team is just so talented. They lost game 2 by 1 point and game 4 was tight the whole way through. I think they go back to OKC for game 5. Pistol Pete gets back in his rhythm, they get their confidence back, and force a game 7 by squeaking out a victory in Miami in game 6.
Greeny: Jalen, Richard. Do you guys agree?
Jalen: I agree that they force a game 6 but I don’t think they can win in Miami.
Richard: Yeah, I’m with Jalen on this one. This OKC team just looks a little shell-shocked right now. They are wilting under the bright lights. I don’t think they get a win on the road.
Greeny: Okay, Michelle. Who is your other game 7 team?
Michelle: The Minnesota Timberwolves are in the same place as the Thunder. They go back home for game 5. They barely lost games 2 and 4. They have a real chance to win this in 7.
Greeny: It is weird to see Ben Simmons playing AGAINST the Sixers, isn’t it?
Jalen: Right now he’s just getting outplayed by his longtime running mate, Markelle Fultz. Fultz has a lot more left in the tank than people give him credit for.
Richard: I don’t see the Wolves pulling this off. They just don’t have enough firepower on offense to keep up with this Sixers team.
Greeny: I’m surprised no one is talking about the Hawks. Isn’t it time for the Blazers to fall apart, like they always do, and hand this one to the Hawks.
Richard: My one year in Portland we made it to the Conference Finals. I believe they can at least make it out of the first round. After that I’m not so confident.
Michelle: I think we all want to believe in the Blazers but it is hard after all these years.
Greeny: Any parting shots? Final thoughts?
Michelle: Where is Bjorn Ironside? What happened? It is like he’s all of the sudden human.
Richard: This guy shot 61% from the field and 43% from three in the regular season. In the postseason he’s shooting 50% from the field and 25% from 3. He’s still playing well by most people’s standards but the Toronto faithful have to be disappointed. This guy looked like a god in the regular season.
Jalen: He’s a free agent this offseason. He may be too busy getting ready to spend all the money he’s going to make.
Greeny: So there you have it. For what it’s worth. I think the Blazers will lose this series and I can’t wait to see Bjorn in a Knicks uniform next season. I’m saying my prayers. Thanks for joining us.
Michelle: Thanks, Greeny. Anytime I step onto a set and don’t have to share it with Colin Cowherd is a great day.
Greeny: Yeah, I can imagine you feel that way. We also have Richard Jefferson with us this morning. Guys, the big story this morning is that there is only one series tied up and it is one that no one, and I mean no one, saw coming. The Bulls and Rockets are tied up 2-2. Jalen what do you make of it.
Jalen: I’m not surprised. In fact, I’ve been saying all along, ‘Look out for the Rockets. They are sneaky good.’
Greeny: Just to be clear you know we are talking about the Houston Rockets that finished with a 0.4 point differential. You know it is not the 90’s when they had Shaq. Right?
Jalen: Yes, I know. Who did the Rockets sign this offseason? Who was their big free agent?
Michelle: Alton Hill
Jalen: That’s right. And who did they sign him away from? The Chicago Bulls. That signing made the Bulls worse and the Rockets better so we should have seen this coming.
Richard: That’s not how this works, Jalen! You have to consider all the moving parts. Yes, the Bulls lost Hill but they replaced him with A.C. Williams, Silky Johnson, Nassir Little, Karl-Anthony Towns. There is no way the Rockets are the better team!
Jalen: Then why did they just destroy the Bulls two games in a row?
Richard: Because they were at home! Because Cameron Payne had the game of his life and scored 17 points in game 4! Because Silva had a couple of off games!
Greeny: Let’s talk about Silva. Just 12 points and 6 rebounds in game 4. This guy was unstoppable in the regular season. What’s going on here?
Jalen: My sources tell me…
Michelle: (Laughing) I always love Jalen’s sources.
Jalen: Why are you laughing?
Michelle: Because your sources are always wrong.
Jalen: My sources are telling me Silva is not actually injured. He is unhappy in Chicago and wants out.
Michelle: He is unhappy on a team that has won 60 games three seasons in row?
Jalen: It’s not just him. Silky and A.C. are done in Chicago as well. They are already scouting out free agent destinations.
Greeny: So you’re saying there is essentially a mutiny in the Bulls locker room.
Jalen: Pretty much. I think the Rockets are going to win this series.
Michelle: You do realize that for that to happen the Rockets will have to win a game in Chicago.
Jalen: I think they will win on the road in Chicago in game 5 and win at home in game 6.
Richard: That’s just ridiculous. The Bulls are the better team, even without Silva.
Michelle: Yeah, I agree with Richard. It might take 7 games but the Bulls win this series and probably the conference.
Greeny: Okay, a hot take from Jalen to start the day. Michelle, what about the other series? Do you see any team coming back and forcing a game 7?
Michelle: I actually think we’ll see two other game 7s. I think the Thunder could actually win their series. Even being down 1-3. This team is just so talented. They lost game 2 by 1 point and game 4 was tight the whole way through. I think they go back to OKC for game 5. Pistol Pete gets back in his rhythm, they get their confidence back, and force a game 7 by squeaking out a victory in Miami in game 6.
Greeny: Jalen, Richard. Do you guys agree?
Jalen: I agree that they force a game 6 but I don’t think they can win in Miami.
Richard: Yeah, I’m with Jalen on this one. This OKC team just looks a little shell-shocked right now. They are wilting under the bright lights. I don’t think they get a win on the road.
Greeny: Okay, Michelle. Who is your other game 7 team?
Michelle: The Minnesota Timberwolves are in the same place as the Thunder. They go back home for game 5. They barely lost games 2 and 4. They have a real chance to win this in 7.
Greeny: It is weird to see Ben Simmons playing AGAINST the Sixers, isn’t it?
Jalen: Right now he’s just getting outplayed by his longtime running mate, Markelle Fultz. Fultz has a lot more left in the tank than people give him credit for.
Richard: I don’t see the Wolves pulling this off. They just don’t have enough firepower on offense to keep up with this Sixers team.
Greeny: I’m surprised no one is talking about the Hawks. Isn’t it time for the Blazers to fall apart, like they always do, and hand this one to the Hawks.
Richard: My one year in Portland we made it to the Conference Finals. I believe they can at least make it out of the first round. After that I’m not so confident.
Michelle: I think we all want to believe in the Blazers but it is hard after all these years.
Greeny: Any parting shots? Final thoughts?
Michelle: Where is Bjorn Ironside? What happened? It is like he’s all of the sudden human.
Richard: This guy shot 61% from the field and 43% from three in the regular season. In the postseason he’s shooting 50% from the field and 25% from 3. He’s still playing well by most people’s standards but the Toronto faithful have to be disappointed. This guy looked like a god in the regular season.
Jalen: He’s a free agent this offseason. He may be too busy getting ready to spend all the money he’s going to make.
Greeny: So there you have it. For what it’s worth. I think the Blazers will lose this series and I can’t wait to see Bjorn in a Knicks uniform next season. I’m saying my prayers. Thanks for joining us.
- TheSyndicate
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Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Thanks for providing bulletin board material, Lowe. Really fired them boys up.
6 Rings. That's it. That's the tweet.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Ernie: Hello everyone and welcome to Inside the PBSL. I’m your host, Ernie Johnson and I’m joined by our regular bunch of rascals and knuckleheads, Shaq, Sir Charles Barkley, and Kenny the Jet Smith. Well, guys, one round has gone by and it is time to bid farewell to a bunch of teams. Let’s start at the end. It’s time for GONE FISHIN’!
The Houston Rockets were eliminated in seven games by the top-seeded Bulls.
Charles: This series was a ton of fun. If I’m a fan of Houston I’m proud of the way this team went out and fought.
Shaq: It was a heartbreaker, though.
Charles: Al Horford is crying somewhere.
Ernie: No other team even made it to game 6. We’ll next go to my Atlanta Hawks. They upset the Blazers last year. This year, not even close…
Kenny: The Blazers look good, EJ. There’s no shame in losing to this team.
Shaq: Kyle Kuzma looks like a boss, Ern. He’s still a young man. There’s a bright future ahead for Atlanta.
Ernie: There’s always next year. Hawks fans know the refrain well. The second seeded Thunder were knocked off by the lowly Heat. What went wrong here?
Charles: Pete Marianochich, Marionvich, Mvarch
Kenny: Come on, Chuck, spit it out.
Charles: Pistol Pete! Only scored 11 points a game. Look, he’s a promising young player. OKC thought they’d found THE GUY. Maybe he will be the THE GUY someday but NOT TODAY.
Kenny: Yeah, World B. Free is a good defender but he’s not THAT good. Pete just choked.
Ernie: The San Antonio Spurs were SWEPT by the Denver Nuggets. This was supposed to be a good series.
Shaq: This series was all about the others not showing up. D-Will, Bower, and my boy BDJ all had bid games but it was like no one else was out there on the court with those three guys.
Ernie: The Spurs have freed up some cap space by declining the team option for Williams. We’ll see if they can get there guys some help.
Charles: No riverwalk for us this year guys!
Kenny: Yeah, I know you’re real sad about that, Chuck.
Ernie: The Pelicans got rolled by the Bucks. This was fairly expected.
Kenny: After Langford got injured in the first game, this thing was over.
Charles: This series was over before then, Kenny. The Bucks are just too good.
Ernie: The Sixers “upset” the Wolves. The fans in Minneapolis have to be disappointed.
Shaq: Ben Simmons was supposed to be the guy to move this team into contention. Instead, he just got them beat by his former team in the first round. Not a good look for Simmons.
Kenny: 15 points a game, 45% shooting in the series. They gave up a lot to get him and he wasn’t there when they needed him.
Ernie: Speaking of not showing up. The Raptors and MVP Bjorn Ironside got rolled by the Wizards.
Kenny: He’s human! 51% from the field and 28 points a game is great on most teams. With a roster like the Raptors’ that’s not enough to get past an underrated Wizards team.
Charles: I feel for the guy. I think the media is being a little tough on him but when you’re the MVP, you’ve gotta show up every game when it counts.
Ernie: Finally we get to the Cleveland Cavaliers.
All together: 1-2-3 CANCUN!
Charles: I’m surprised these guys showed up for the games!
Shaq: They showed up? Didn’t notice.
Ernie: Real fast, guys. We’re running out of time. Predictions for the second round.
Charles: Let’s see. I got the Magic in 5, the Bucks in 5. The Nuggets are gonna kill the Heat. So I got a sweep there. The Bulls beat the Blazers in 5!
Shaq: Come on, Chuck, you gotta believe in the Blazers this year.
Charles: I’ll believe it when I see a parade in downtown Portland.
Kenny: I’m with Chuck on the Magic. I like the Bucks-Sixers series. Two teams that were supposed to be “rebuilding.” They don’t match up against each other real well. Weird things could happen in this one. I’ve got the Bucks in 7. The Nuggets win in 5 and I’m going with the BLAZERS in 6.
Shaq: I am also a believer. Blazers in 6. I think the Nuggets gotta be careful with the Heat. The Heat are hot. They’re confident. I still think the Nuggets win but in 7. I like my boy Udoka to win that series for the Sixers in 6. And I’ve got one word for the Wizards. BOBAN!!!!!!! Boban is coming! Watch out!
The Houston Rockets were eliminated in seven games by the top-seeded Bulls.
Charles: This series was a ton of fun. If I’m a fan of Houston I’m proud of the way this team went out and fought.
Shaq: It was a heartbreaker, though.
Charles: Al Horford is crying somewhere.
Ernie: No other team even made it to game 6. We’ll next go to my Atlanta Hawks. They upset the Blazers last year. This year, not even close…
Kenny: The Blazers look good, EJ. There’s no shame in losing to this team.
Shaq: Kyle Kuzma looks like a boss, Ern. He’s still a young man. There’s a bright future ahead for Atlanta.
Ernie: There’s always next year. Hawks fans know the refrain well. The second seeded Thunder were knocked off by the lowly Heat. What went wrong here?
Charles: Pete Marianochich, Marionvich, Mvarch
Kenny: Come on, Chuck, spit it out.
Charles: Pistol Pete! Only scored 11 points a game. Look, he’s a promising young player. OKC thought they’d found THE GUY. Maybe he will be the THE GUY someday but NOT TODAY.
Kenny: Yeah, World B. Free is a good defender but he’s not THAT good. Pete just choked.
Ernie: The San Antonio Spurs were SWEPT by the Denver Nuggets. This was supposed to be a good series.
Shaq: This series was all about the others not showing up. D-Will, Bower, and my boy BDJ all had bid games but it was like no one else was out there on the court with those three guys.
Ernie: The Spurs have freed up some cap space by declining the team option for Williams. We’ll see if they can get there guys some help.
Charles: No riverwalk for us this year guys!
Kenny: Yeah, I know you’re real sad about that, Chuck.
Ernie: The Pelicans got rolled by the Bucks. This was fairly expected.
Kenny: After Langford got injured in the first game, this thing was over.
Charles: This series was over before then, Kenny. The Bucks are just too good.
Ernie: The Sixers “upset” the Wolves. The fans in Minneapolis have to be disappointed.
Shaq: Ben Simmons was supposed to be the guy to move this team into contention. Instead, he just got them beat by his former team in the first round. Not a good look for Simmons.
Kenny: 15 points a game, 45% shooting in the series. They gave up a lot to get him and he wasn’t there when they needed him.
Ernie: Speaking of not showing up. The Raptors and MVP Bjorn Ironside got rolled by the Wizards.
Kenny: He’s human! 51% from the field and 28 points a game is great on most teams. With a roster like the Raptors’ that’s not enough to get past an underrated Wizards team.
Charles: I feel for the guy. I think the media is being a little tough on him but when you’re the MVP, you’ve gotta show up every game when it counts.
Ernie: Finally we get to the Cleveland Cavaliers.
All together: 1-2-3 CANCUN!
Charles: I’m surprised these guys showed up for the games!
Shaq: They showed up? Didn’t notice.
Ernie: Real fast, guys. We’re running out of time. Predictions for the second round.
Charles: Let’s see. I got the Magic in 5, the Bucks in 5. The Nuggets are gonna kill the Heat. So I got a sweep there. The Bulls beat the Blazers in 5!
Shaq: Come on, Chuck, you gotta believe in the Blazers this year.
Charles: I’ll believe it when I see a parade in downtown Portland.
Kenny: I’m with Chuck on the Magic. I like the Bucks-Sixers series. Two teams that were supposed to be “rebuilding.” They don’t match up against each other real well. Weird things could happen in this one. I’ve got the Bucks in 7. The Nuggets win in 5 and I’m going with the BLAZERS in 6.
Shaq: I am also a believer. Blazers in 6. I think the Nuggets gotta be careful with the Heat. The Heat are hot. They’re confident. I still think the Nuggets win but in 7. I like my boy Udoka to win that series for the Sixers in 6. And I’ve got one word for the Wizards. BOBAN!!!!!!! Boban is coming! Watch out!
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Molly: Okay, guys. Let’s talk about the second round. Some people are saying that the Nuggets should actually be considered the favorites in the Alpha division. Thoughts, Stephen A?
Stephen A: Never underestimate the heart of a champion. Never. Devin Booker. Champ. Andre Drummond, 2 time champ. Jerry West, 3 time champion. Otto Porter Jr. FOUR TIME CHAMPION. These guys are good. These guys are the reigning champs. As far as I’m concerned, they are the favorites until somebody proves otherwise and so far, they haven’t even LOST A GAME THIS POSTSEASON. You bet they’re the favorites.
Max: Stephen A. Otto Porter Jr. is 36 years old! I don’t care how many championships he’s won. You know who else won a bunch of championships? Penny Hardaway. I don’t think he’s going to win the championship this year! This team is not the favorite. This team is LUCKY that the seeding system is all screwed up and that they haven’t had to face a real team yet. That being said, you’ve gotta love Alvin Briseno finally getting his chance. After all those years wasting away in LA.
Stephen A: Yeah, the Briseno trade really saved this team. The Syndicate is one of the all-time great GMs and coaches for a reason. He knows what it takes to win.
Molly: Okay, let’s talk about the other 2-0 series, Magic-Wizards. Do you think the Magic will lose a game this playoffs?
Max: Yes. They will lose. One game. In the finals. The teams in the Alpha are good. They won’t get swept but they won’t make the Magic sweat. Boban is so good. He probably should have won the MVP AGAIN this year. Josh Jackson. You know, people forget about Josh Jackson. He is a two-way monster. Bronny James is already unbelievable and he is only 23. This team is so good defensively and almost just as good offensively. They won’t lose until the finals.
Stephen A: Let me tell you why you’re wrong, Max. I’ve got two names for you. Quailman and Markelle Fultz. Whoever makes it out of that battle, is going to put up a serious fight against the Magic. Quailman is one of the most experienced and successful GMs and coaches in league history. You think his team is going to roll over and die? In the conference finals? No way. That’s disrespectful, IGNORANT, and down-right stupid! Now, Markelle Fultz, this dude can barely move out there on the court but he is a fighter. He will not go down without a fight. This may be his last chance to play a key part on a championship team. He’s going to go all out.
Max: You love old guys too much.
Stephen A: I’ve got one more name for you! Udoka Azubuike. He’s 24! He plays the position where the Magic are weakest. If I’m Orlando, I’m praying I don’t have to go against this guy.
Molly: Let’s talk about the tied series. You guys have already mentioned the Bucks and Sixers. Who wins between these two teams?
Stephen A: I think this series is close. These teams are not good matchups for each other. Anything could happen. I like Philadelphia going back home. I love the people, the fans of PHILADEPHIA! I think they could be the deciding-factor in this series. This is a very good but very young Bucks team and I’m not sure how they will handle a hostile environment on the road.
Max: I like the Bucks to win this one. I think Clifford Paugh and De’Aaron Fox are just too good for the Sixers. The Sixers do not have that top end talent like these guys. The Sixers are weaker in the backcourt than the Bucks are in the front. When it comes down to it, the team with the two best players in the series is going to win.
Molly: Let’s close with the Bulls-Blazers series. The Blazers came out and won game 1 in Chicago by 24 and now own home court advantage. Are the Blazers in the driver seat?
Max: And then they came out and lost game 2 by 27 points! No, the Blazers aren’t in the driver seat! They were going against a weak Silva, who was playing limited minutes. The Blazers will blow this like they always do. They will probably lose one at home, lose game 5 in Chicago, and then fold at home in game 6. Silva looks better and better every game. The Bulls are better at every position! The Blazers are done!
Stephen A: Hold on one second. Are you disrespecting Ronald Small? Leroy Haugh is a terrific player but he’s no Ronald Small. Ronald Small is All-league, All-defense, All-world. So that’s one position where the BLAZERS have the advantage. Now, I’ve got another one for you, Max. One you haven’t thought of. The Blazers also have the upper hand at the sixth man. They have a future hall of famer, who's still pretty darn good if you ask me, Andrew Wiggins coming off the bench. I like the Blazers in this one. I want to believe in them.
Stephen A: Never underestimate the heart of a champion. Never. Devin Booker. Champ. Andre Drummond, 2 time champ. Jerry West, 3 time champion. Otto Porter Jr. FOUR TIME CHAMPION. These guys are good. These guys are the reigning champs. As far as I’m concerned, they are the favorites until somebody proves otherwise and so far, they haven’t even LOST A GAME THIS POSTSEASON. You bet they’re the favorites.
Max: Stephen A. Otto Porter Jr. is 36 years old! I don’t care how many championships he’s won. You know who else won a bunch of championships? Penny Hardaway. I don’t think he’s going to win the championship this year! This team is not the favorite. This team is LUCKY that the seeding system is all screwed up and that they haven’t had to face a real team yet. That being said, you’ve gotta love Alvin Briseno finally getting his chance. After all those years wasting away in LA.
Stephen A: Yeah, the Briseno trade really saved this team. The Syndicate is one of the all-time great GMs and coaches for a reason. He knows what it takes to win.
Molly: Okay, let’s talk about the other 2-0 series, Magic-Wizards. Do you think the Magic will lose a game this playoffs?
Max: Yes. They will lose. One game. In the finals. The teams in the Alpha are good. They won’t get swept but they won’t make the Magic sweat. Boban is so good. He probably should have won the MVP AGAIN this year. Josh Jackson. You know, people forget about Josh Jackson. He is a two-way monster. Bronny James is already unbelievable and he is only 23. This team is so good defensively and almost just as good offensively. They won’t lose until the finals.
Stephen A: Let me tell you why you’re wrong, Max. I’ve got two names for you. Quailman and Markelle Fultz. Whoever makes it out of that battle, is going to put up a serious fight against the Magic. Quailman is one of the most experienced and successful GMs and coaches in league history. You think his team is going to roll over and die? In the conference finals? No way. That’s disrespectful, IGNORANT, and down-right stupid! Now, Markelle Fultz, this dude can barely move out there on the court but he is a fighter. He will not go down without a fight. This may be his last chance to play a key part on a championship team. He’s going to go all out.
Max: You love old guys too much.
Stephen A: I’ve got one more name for you! Udoka Azubuike. He’s 24! He plays the position where the Magic are weakest. If I’m Orlando, I’m praying I don’t have to go against this guy.
Molly: Let’s talk about the tied series. You guys have already mentioned the Bucks and Sixers. Who wins between these two teams?
Stephen A: I think this series is close. These teams are not good matchups for each other. Anything could happen. I like Philadelphia going back home. I love the people, the fans of PHILADEPHIA! I think they could be the deciding-factor in this series. This is a very good but very young Bucks team and I’m not sure how they will handle a hostile environment on the road.
Max: I like the Bucks to win this one. I think Clifford Paugh and De’Aaron Fox are just too good for the Sixers. The Sixers do not have that top end talent like these guys. The Sixers are weaker in the backcourt than the Bucks are in the front. When it comes down to it, the team with the two best players in the series is going to win.
Molly: Let’s close with the Bulls-Blazers series. The Blazers came out and won game 1 in Chicago by 24 and now own home court advantage. Are the Blazers in the driver seat?
Max: And then they came out and lost game 2 by 27 points! No, the Blazers aren’t in the driver seat! They were going against a weak Silva, who was playing limited minutes. The Blazers will blow this like they always do. They will probably lose one at home, lose game 5 in Chicago, and then fold at home in game 6. Silva looks better and better every game. The Bulls are better at every position! The Blazers are done!
Stephen A: Hold on one second. Are you disrespecting Ronald Small? Leroy Haugh is a terrific player but he’s no Ronald Small. Ronald Small is All-league, All-defense, All-world. So that’s one position where the BLAZERS have the advantage. Now, I’ve got another one for you, Max. One you haven’t thought of. The Blazers also have the upper hand at the sixth man. They have a future hall of famer, who's still pretty darn good if you ask me, Andrew Wiggins coming off the bench. I like the Blazers in this one. I want to believe in them.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Molly: Good morning and welcome to First Interruption. I’m you host, Molly Qerim, and I’m here with Stephen A. Smith and Tony Kornheiser. Okay guys, The Wizards have been swept by the Magic. Are this team’s best days behind them? Is it time for a rebuild.
Stephen A: I think that is an overreaction.
Tony: And you know all about overreactions, Stephen A.
Stephen: (Laughing) I’m not used to doing this show with someone witty. I think people need to calm down. The Wizards have been one of the best teams in the league the last couple of seasons. They ran into a monster team in the second round this season. That’s not their fault. I don’t know how many teams will be able to win a game against the Magic.
Tony: That was a surprisingly even-keeled and thoughtful response, Stephen A. Look, Phil Brooks is 26. Bender is 26. James Shaffer is 27. They have an interesting decision coming up on Nathan Thompson. He’s 28. The only guy leaving his prime rather than entering it is JR Johnson. The best days are ahead for my Washington Wizards.
Molly: The Sixers and Bucks are still tied up. Stephen A, the Sixers have lost the home court advantage they stole in Milwaukee. Do you still have faith in them?
Stephen A: I’m doubting a bit. A BIT! They blew game 3 at home. Winners don’t do that. Winners take care of business. Markelle Fultz put that team on his back. He was the ONLY ONE WHO SHOWED UP. He scored 40 POINTS! If they are relying on Fultz, and Udoka isn’t going to show up, the Bucks are going to win this one.
Tony: This has been a fun series, hasn’t it? I like De’Aaaron Fox. This kid is GOOD. I think he is the difference in this one. The Bucks have home court advantage again, they have the best player in the series. Maybe the best two. That usually means you win. I give them 100% chance of advancing
Molly: We’re not playing that game. Wrong show, Tony.
Tony: Molly, I don’t care, I’m a senial old man. I only know one way of doing a show.
Molly: Okay, Tony, the Heat staved off elimination in game 4. Can they do it again in game 5?
Tony: No they can’t, Molly. They are going back to Denver, one of the hardest places in the league to play. They are hopelessly outmatched. They won one for the fans in Miami but it took Briseno essentially not showing up and Booker having foul trouble and they ALMOST choked away the game in the fourth quarter ANYWAY. This series is over.
Stephen A: Yeah, there’s not much to add to that. The Heat are hardly a legitimate second round team. THEY ARE GOING UP AGAINST THE DEFENDING CHAMPS. The Nuggets are looking like the best team in the Alpha again. They’ve been here before. They will take care of business in game 5.
Molly: Final matchup. The Bulls have been great all year. Can the Bulls Comeback and win three in a row?
Stephen A: I said it last show. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN. I am a BLAZER BELIEVER. I STAND BY THAT! The Blazers took care of business at home in games 3 and 4. This is how you upset a great team in the playoffs. There is a formula. Steal one on the road in the first two games. Take care of business at home in games 3 and 4. Find a way, somehow, someway, to get one more win in the next 3 games. I’m going to bet they find a way!
Tony: I have my doubts, Stephen and A. I always have doubts when it comes to the Blazers. But you know what? I think they are going to win this series. Ronald Small wasn’t even that good in games 3 and 4. If he shows up for one of the next 3 games, they move on to the next round. Frank Jackson was their leading scorer in game 4 and they still won. It seems like they have some room to improve and they are still up 3-1. That is not a good look for the Bulls. BUT I have my doubts.
Molly: I still have my doubts too. I’m never putting money on the Blazers.
Stephen A: I think that is an overreaction.
Tony: And you know all about overreactions, Stephen A.
Stephen: (Laughing) I’m not used to doing this show with someone witty. I think people need to calm down. The Wizards have been one of the best teams in the league the last couple of seasons. They ran into a monster team in the second round this season. That’s not their fault. I don’t know how many teams will be able to win a game against the Magic.
Tony: That was a surprisingly even-keeled and thoughtful response, Stephen A. Look, Phil Brooks is 26. Bender is 26. James Shaffer is 27. They have an interesting decision coming up on Nathan Thompson. He’s 28. The only guy leaving his prime rather than entering it is JR Johnson. The best days are ahead for my Washington Wizards.
Molly: The Sixers and Bucks are still tied up. Stephen A, the Sixers have lost the home court advantage they stole in Milwaukee. Do you still have faith in them?
Stephen A: I’m doubting a bit. A BIT! They blew game 3 at home. Winners don’t do that. Winners take care of business. Markelle Fultz put that team on his back. He was the ONLY ONE WHO SHOWED UP. He scored 40 POINTS! If they are relying on Fultz, and Udoka isn’t going to show up, the Bucks are going to win this one.
Tony: This has been a fun series, hasn’t it? I like De’Aaaron Fox. This kid is GOOD. I think he is the difference in this one. The Bucks have home court advantage again, they have the best player in the series. Maybe the best two. That usually means you win. I give them 100% chance of advancing
Molly: We’re not playing that game. Wrong show, Tony.
Tony: Molly, I don’t care, I’m a senial old man. I only know one way of doing a show.
Molly: Okay, Tony, the Heat staved off elimination in game 4. Can they do it again in game 5?
Tony: No they can’t, Molly. They are going back to Denver, one of the hardest places in the league to play. They are hopelessly outmatched. They won one for the fans in Miami but it took Briseno essentially not showing up and Booker having foul trouble and they ALMOST choked away the game in the fourth quarter ANYWAY. This series is over.
Stephen A: Yeah, there’s not much to add to that. The Heat are hardly a legitimate second round team. THEY ARE GOING UP AGAINST THE DEFENDING CHAMPS. The Nuggets are looking like the best team in the Alpha again. They’ve been here before. They will take care of business in game 5.
Molly: Final matchup. The Bulls have been great all year. Can the Bulls Comeback and win three in a row?
Stephen A: I said it last show. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN. I am a BLAZER BELIEVER. I STAND BY THAT! The Blazers took care of business at home in games 3 and 4. This is how you upset a great team in the playoffs. There is a formula. Steal one on the road in the first two games. Take care of business at home in games 3 and 4. Find a way, somehow, someway, to get one more win in the next 3 games. I’m going to bet they find a way!
Tony: I have my doubts, Stephen and A. I always have doubts when it comes to the Blazers. But you know what? I think they are going to win this series. Ronald Small wasn’t even that good in games 3 and 4. If he shows up for one of the next 3 games, they move on to the next round. Frank Jackson was their leading scorer in game 4 and they still won. It seems like they have some room to improve and they are still up 3-1. That is not a good look for the Bulls. BUT I have my doubts.
Molly: I still have my doubts too. I’m never putting money on the Blazers.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Greeny: I’m Mike Greenberg and welcome to Inside Up. I’m here with Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Richard Jefferson. Guys, let’s start with the Blazers-Bulls. The Blazers had this one wrapped up, what happened, Charles?
Charles: First of all, I just want to say to Kenny and Shaq, wherever that guy is. I TOLD YOU SO! The Blazers always choke. Look, they’ve got a good bunch of players. They’ve got a roster full of former champs but it doesn’t matter. Portland will not win a championship until kucoach is out. That’s all there is too it. It’s not a curse. It’s not bad luck. He just isn’t a good coach and GM. It’s simple.
Kenny: I haven’t given up hope yet, Charles. This series ain’t over! You’re acting like it’s over and it ain’t! They still have to play game 7.
Charles: Look, Kenny, game 7 is in Chicago. I GUARANTEE a Bulls victory.
Richard: And the people of Portland start to celebrate.
Kenny: The Bulls made some really amazing adjustments to win games 5 and 6. The playoffs are all about adjustments. Portland now, in some ways, has the upper hand. It is their turn to adjust and the Bulls won’t get a chance to adjust back. The question is, do they have an answer for the Bulls?
Greeny: Let’s talk about the other game 7. Sixers-Bucks. This series has been perfectly even. No team has won two in a row. Does that mean the Bucks win game 7?
Richard: Yeah, I think it does. The Bucks have home court advantage. It’s their turn to win.
Kenny: I don’t know about it being their “turn to win” but I do know that they have a coach and when it comes to game 7, that is a huge advantage. They are not on autopilot. They have a good coach too.
Charles: Fox has got to find a way to hold on to the ball, man. That’s the key. If De’Aaron Fox and stop turning the ball over like he did in game 6, the Bucks win. Sometimes it’s that simple.
Greeny: Okay, let’s wrap up with a little Gone Fishin’. The Miami Heat were eliminated in 5 games by the Denver Nuggets.
Kenny: They were simply overmatched in this one but they still have a great youngish core with Free and Grayson.
Richard: Hopefully they can get those guys some help this offseason.
Charles: You guys ever go sport fish fishin’ down in Florida.
Kenny: Yeah, I’ve been. It was fun.
Charles: That’s awesome, man. You go out there catchin’ those huge marlins, sailfish, sword fish.
Richard: I’ve never been.
Charles: I’ll take you out this summer, man. We’ll go down, get a boat. It’s a good time. But, you know, I don’t really like to eat them.
Kenny: You like catching them but not eating them?
Charles: Nah, man. I’ll let someone else eat them. I more of a fried catfish man myself.
Charles: First of all, I just want to say to Kenny and Shaq, wherever that guy is. I TOLD YOU SO! The Blazers always choke. Look, they’ve got a good bunch of players. They’ve got a roster full of former champs but it doesn’t matter. Portland will not win a championship until kucoach is out. That’s all there is too it. It’s not a curse. It’s not bad luck. He just isn’t a good coach and GM. It’s simple.
Kenny: I haven’t given up hope yet, Charles. This series ain’t over! You’re acting like it’s over and it ain’t! They still have to play game 7.
Charles: Look, Kenny, game 7 is in Chicago. I GUARANTEE a Bulls victory.
Richard: And the people of Portland start to celebrate.
Kenny: The Bulls made some really amazing adjustments to win games 5 and 6. The playoffs are all about adjustments. Portland now, in some ways, has the upper hand. It is their turn to adjust and the Bulls won’t get a chance to adjust back. The question is, do they have an answer for the Bulls?
Greeny: Let’s talk about the other game 7. Sixers-Bucks. This series has been perfectly even. No team has won two in a row. Does that mean the Bucks win game 7?
Richard: Yeah, I think it does. The Bucks have home court advantage. It’s their turn to win.
Kenny: I don’t know about it being their “turn to win” but I do know that they have a coach and when it comes to game 7, that is a huge advantage. They are not on autopilot. They have a good coach too.
Charles: Fox has got to find a way to hold on to the ball, man. That’s the key. If De’Aaron Fox and stop turning the ball over like he did in game 6, the Bucks win. Sometimes it’s that simple.
Greeny: Okay, let’s wrap up with a little Gone Fishin’. The Miami Heat were eliminated in 5 games by the Denver Nuggets.
Kenny: They were simply overmatched in this one but they still have a great youngish core with Free and Grayson.
Richard: Hopefully they can get those guys some help this offseason.
Charles: You guys ever go sport fish fishin’ down in Florida.
Kenny: Yeah, I’ve been. It was fun.
Charles: That’s awesome, man. You go out there catchin’ those huge marlins, sailfish, sword fish.
Richard: I’ve never been.
Charles: I’ll take you out this summer, man. We’ll go down, get a boat. It’s a good time. But, you know, I don’t really like to eat them.
Kenny: You like catching them but not eating them?
Charles: Nah, man. I’ll let someone else eat them. I more of a fried catfish man myself.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Ernie: Good morning and welcome to Get Inside First, the show that got the short end of the stick in the shuffle. I’m joined by Michelle Beale, Jalen Rose, and Max Kellerman. Max, I can’t believe you still have a job.
Max: We’re starting the hostilities a little early, don’t you think.
Michelle: To be fair, Max knows practically nothing about basketball.
Max: I always thought Stephen A was just trying to create drama.
Ernie: No, Max, you’re an idiot.
Michelle: You know a lot about boxing though.
Jalen: Or so we hear.
Ernie: Okay, that is enough cheap shots on Max. Let’s start by talking about the Omega Conference. The Bucks won at home in game seven. Their reward: the Magic. Let’s take an under/over on how many wins the Bucks get in this series. We’ll open at 1.5.
Michelle: I’m going to take the under. The Magic are a bad matchup for the Bucks. Jonathan Constantino is a good defender but Boban is Boban. No one is really a good matchup for him unless you’re Ben Wallace, Joakim Noah, Anthony Davis, Shawn Kemp. The Bucks don’t have a guy like that. And they DO NOT have an answer for Josh Jackson. The may get a win in Milwaukee but that’s it.
Max: I’m also taking the under, except I’m going to one up Michelle and say they win zero games. I’ve said all along the Magic are only going to lose one game in the entire playoffs and it will be in the Finals. Except I’m not so sure about that because the second best team in the league just go outed by the Blazers. Boban is a bad man. He is going to score 40 points a game against Milwaukee.
Ernie: Jalen, do you agree?
Jalen: I do not. And I’ll tell you why. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Milwaukee is the best basketball town in the league. You want to know another secret? When all is said and done, De’Aaron Fox will be better than Boban. With those two things in mind, I’m going to take the over. They may even win the series.
Michelle: Yeah, but Boban (and Josh Jackson) are better now.
Jalen: Don’t be surprised if this one goes the distance.
Ernie: Okay. Let’s go to the other series. This one is a little more interesting. Much more interesting than this conversation you guys are having. Shaq and Kenny and Charles are way funnier than you guys. It’s no wonder we win the Emmy every year. The Blazers are the better team on paper. They had 14 more wins than the Nuggets. They have a super deep roster. They’ve already beat two really good teams. And yet….
Jalen: And yet they feel like the underdogs in this one. They split the regular series with them but they lost both their home games to them. I don’t care who you’ve beaten. To be the champ, you gotta beat the champ. And, as of right now, the Nuggets are the reigning champs.
Michelle: I agree that the Blazers might be the underdogs in this series. The Nuggets have home court advantage and the best player in the series. Those two things can go along way this time of year.
Max: Not to mention the defense. The Nuggets have a suffocating defense. I know the Blazers have a high powered offense but defense wins championships and this is a conference championship series.
Ernie: No Blazer believers on set today? They just pulled off a truly gutsy win in game 7 in Chicago. What do they have to do to gain your trust.
Max: Fire Kucoach.
Michelle: I don’t want to sound like I’m disrespecting the Blazers. This is more about the Nuggets to me. They have Jerry West and OPJ. These guys are perennial champions. I just think giving these guys home court at this stage of the playoffs is insurmountable.
Ernie: Otto Porter Jr. will be playing is 175th playoff game.
Jalen: OPJ and Tatum have a history. The Nuggets beat the Spurs back in 26. The Spurs went out and trade Tua for Tatum and beat the Nuggets the next two years in the playoffs. This is round 3. We’ll see if OPJ can get his revenge.
Max: We’re starting the hostilities a little early, don’t you think.
Michelle: To be fair, Max knows practically nothing about basketball.
Max: I always thought Stephen A was just trying to create drama.
Ernie: No, Max, you’re an idiot.
Michelle: You know a lot about boxing though.
Jalen: Or so we hear.
Ernie: Okay, that is enough cheap shots on Max. Let’s start by talking about the Omega Conference. The Bucks won at home in game seven. Their reward: the Magic. Let’s take an under/over on how many wins the Bucks get in this series. We’ll open at 1.5.
Michelle: I’m going to take the under. The Magic are a bad matchup for the Bucks. Jonathan Constantino is a good defender but Boban is Boban. No one is really a good matchup for him unless you’re Ben Wallace, Joakim Noah, Anthony Davis, Shawn Kemp. The Bucks don’t have a guy like that. And they DO NOT have an answer for Josh Jackson. The may get a win in Milwaukee but that’s it.
Max: I’m also taking the under, except I’m going to one up Michelle and say they win zero games. I’ve said all along the Magic are only going to lose one game in the entire playoffs and it will be in the Finals. Except I’m not so sure about that because the second best team in the league just go outed by the Blazers. Boban is a bad man. He is going to score 40 points a game against Milwaukee.
Ernie: Jalen, do you agree?
Jalen: I do not. And I’ll tell you why. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Milwaukee is the best basketball town in the league. You want to know another secret? When all is said and done, De’Aaron Fox will be better than Boban. With those two things in mind, I’m going to take the over. They may even win the series.
Michelle: Yeah, but Boban (and Josh Jackson) are better now.
Jalen: Don’t be surprised if this one goes the distance.
Ernie: Okay. Let’s go to the other series. This one is a little more interesting. Much more interesting than this conversation you guys are having. Shaq and Kenny and Charles are way funnier than you guys. It’s no wonder we win the Emmy every year. The Blazers are the better team on paper. They had 14 more wins than the Nuggets. They have a super deep roster. They’ve already beat two really good teams. And yet….
Jalen: And yet they feel like the underdogs in this one. They split the regular series with them but they lost both their home games to them. I don’t care who you’ve beaten. To be the champ, you gotta beat the champ. And, as of right now, the Nuggets are the reigning champs.
Michelle: I agree that the Blazers might be the underdogs in this series. The Nuggets have home court advantage and the best player in the series. Those two things can go along way this time of year.
Max: Not to mention the defense. The Nuggets have a suffocating defense. I know the Blazers have a high powered offense but defense wins championships and this is a conference championship series.
Ernie: No Blazer believers on set today? They just pulled off a truly gutsy win in game 7 in Chicago. What do they have to do to gain your trust.
Max: Fire Kucoach.
Michelle: I don’t want to sound like I’m disrespecting the Blazers. This is more about the Nuggets to me. They have Jerry West and OPJ. These guys are perennial champions. I just think giving these guys home court at this stage of the playoffs is insurmountable.
Ernie: Otto Porter Jr. will be playing is 175th playoff game.
Jalen: OPJ and Tatum have a history. The Nuggets beat the Spurs back in 26. The Spurs went out and trade Tua for Tatum and beat the Nuggets the next two years in the playoffs. This is round 3. We’ll see if OPJ can get his revenge.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Producer: Role Play!
Wilbon: Okay, knuckleheads, it’s time for heads on sticks. Woj, you’re up first. Let’s see who you are.
Woj: I am… Nuggets GM and Coach TheSyndicate.
Wilbon: Okay, TheSyndicate, do you mind if I call you Ryan?
Woj: Not at all.
Wilbon: Okay, RYAN. Your Nuggets got their BUTTS KICKED in Portland. Some people are counting you out. What do you have to say to them?
Woj: I would say that 5 time champions don’t give up. The series is coming back to Denver. We have an altitude advantage and an experience advantage. We’ll bounce back.
Wilbon: Alvin Briseno, your big pickup was a COMPLETE non-factor in games 1 and 2. How do you get him involved going forward.
Woj: My sources inform me that Briseno was actually ill during his time in Portland. Something about too much ice cream.
Wilbon: Woj, you’re supposed to be pretending to be Ryan. Nevermind, let’s move on. I am… Blazers GM, Kucoach. And, yes, you can call me Todd.
Woj: Todd, you’re going up against the GM that joined the league the same day as you for your first chance at going to the finals. Ryan, on the other hand, already has 5 CHAMPIONSHIPS. Do you have an inferiority complex?
Wilbon: Of course I have an inferiority complex! Haven’t you heard me moping all around the league for the last 37 seasons? And for good reason! I am vastly inferior.
Woj: And what do you have to say to your critics that are still doubting you and expect you to blow your 2 game lead?
Wilbon: I don’t care.
Woj: You don’t care about your critics or about choking?
Wilbon: BOTH! We have more wins this series than we did in our last two trips to the conference championships combined! We won 60 games for the first time this year! The people of Portland are already dancing in the streets! We don’t even have to make the Finals. It’s a low bar in Portland… Okay, Woj, that’s enough of that. You’re up.
Woj: I am… Boban!
Wilbon: Boban, you guys have won 10 playoff games in a row. Will you lose a single game this postseason.
Woj: We will not lose a single game, Michael Wilbon. We have four players that can score 20 points a game and play suffocating defense. No one else can claim that. We have not lost in one month. I don’t even remember what losing feels like.
Wilbon: What about the Bucks, though? Milwaukee has some crazy fans. De’Aaron Fox is great. How do you make it in Milwaukee without losing a game?
Woj: It is very simple Michael. They do not have anyone that can stop me.
Michael: You haven’t been much of a factor so far in the series.
Woj: Just wait. I’m pacing myself.
Michael: Nice out, Woj… I’ll finish us off. I am Clifford Paugh.
Woj: Cliff, you are getting roasted by Bronny James this series. What adjustments will guys make to slow him down.
Wilbon: I don’t know, Woj! Nobody knows! Obviously no one has figured that out or someone might have won a single game against these guys.
Woj: So you are throwing in the towel?
Wilbon: We trust our coach. We will play our best for our fans but you and I both know this thing is over. These guys are unbeatable.
Woj: I have to agree with you.
Wilbon: Okay, knuckleheads, it’s time for heads on sticks. Woj, you’re up first. Let’s see who you are.
Woj: I am… Nuggets GM and Coach TheSyndicate.
- Screenshot 2019-10-08 at 9.04.12 AM.png (176.61 KiB) Viewed 2542 times
Woj: Not at all.
Wilbon: Okay, RYAN. Your Nuggets got their BUTTS KICKED in Portland. Some people are counting you out. What do you have to say to them?
Woj: I would say that 5 time champions don’t give up. The series is coming back to Denver. We have an altitude advantage and an experience advantage. We’ll bounce back.
Wilbon: Alvin Briseno, your big pickup was a COMPLETE non-factor in games 1 and 2. How do you get him involved going forward.
Woj: My sources inform me that Briseno was actually ill during his time in Portland. Something about too much ice cream.
Wilbon: Woj, you’re supposed to be pretending to be Ryan. Nevermind, let’s move on. I am… Blazers GM, Kucoach. And, yes, you can call me Todd.
- Screenshot 2019-10-08 at 9.01.22 AM.png (155.17 KiB) Viewed 2542 times
Wilbon: Of course I have an inferiority complex! Haven’t you heard me moping all around the league for the last 37 seasons? And for good reason! I am vastly inferior.
Woj: And what do you have to say to your critics that are still doubting you and expect you to blow your 2 game lead?
Wilbon: I don’t care.
Woj: You don’t care about your critics or about choking?
Wilbon: BOTH! We have more wins this series than we did in our last two trips to the conference championships combined! We won 60 games for the first time this year! The people of Portland are already dancing in the streets! We don’t even have to make the Finals. It’s a low bar in Portland… Okay, Woj, that’s enough of that. You’re up.
Woj: I am… Boban!
Wilbon: Boban, you guys have won 10 playoff games in a row. Will you lose a single game this postseason.
Woj: We will not lose a single game, Michael Wilbon. We have four players that can score 20 points a game and play suffocating defense. No one else can claim that. We have not lost in one month. I don’t even remember what losing feels like.
Wilbon: What about the Bucks, though? Milwaukee has some crazy fans. De’Aaron Fox is great. How do you make it in Milwaukee without losing a game?
Woj: It is very simple Michael. They do not have anyone that can stop me.
Michael: You haven’t been much of a factor so far in the series.
Woj: Just wait. I’m pacing myself.
Michael: Nice out, Woj… I’ll finish us off. I am Clifford Paugh.
- clifford_paugh.jpg (5.14 KiB) Viewed 2542 times
Wilbon: I don’t know, Woj! Nobody knows! Obviously no one has figured that out or someone might have won a single game against these guys.
Woj: So you are throwing in the towel?
Wilbon: We trust our coach. We will play our best for our fans but you and I both know this thing is over. These guys are unbeatable.
Woj: I have to agree with you.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Just wanted to say- I’ve thoroughly enjoyed these.
Courtesy of the big homie RPF
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Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
I have also enjoyed these. While I may have a small edge in championships, Todd, you have a large edge in quality SLOE content (and general likeability).
Obviously it'd be fun to come back, but if I can't, please wreck the team from the East (or whatever they're called).
Obviously it'd be fun to come back, but if I can't, please wreck the team from the East (or whatever they're called).
6 Rings. That's it. That's the tweet.
Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Zach: Welcome to what I think is going to be a really fun show, Zach & Shaq. I’m Zach Lowe and I’m here with Hall of Famer, Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq, I’m so excited to have you with me today. Don’t get me wrong, Woj is great but you’re a Hall of Famer.
Shaq: Glad to be here, Zach.
Zach: So I’m a big, big fan of Inside the PBSL. You always talk about two things come playoff time, the big men and the others. What’s talk about the Nuggets-Blazers. What’s going on with the big men.
Shaq: There are a lot of good big men in this series. Donald, Drummond, Briseno, Bagley, Reading, Low. But none of them have been consistently great and come playoff time, you have to be great.
Zach: What is going on here? Bagley completely neutralized Briseno in games 1 and 2 in Portland and then Briseno turned around and completely owned Bagley in games 3 and 4 in Denver. Woj said something about ice cream. What is really going on.
Shaq: Well, Zach, at this point in his career, Bagley is still and other. He plays well at home in the playoffs but he doesn’t show up on the road. Briseno is not an other, his team needs him and he really didn’t show up in games 1 and 2. Maybe something was wrong. I love me some Salt and Straw. He probably does too.
Zach: Word is that the Nuggets GM is a fan as well. Maybe they had a little team outing or something.
Shaq: Me and Dirk used to eat a dozen Voodoo doughnuts before every game.
Zach: Are you kidding me?
Shaq: Nah, man. That’s what went wrong my second season there. We won 58 games and the next year we added Gary Payton and missed the playoffs. It was because me and Dirk were so out of shape. They were good times though.
Zach: Wow. Just wow. Tell me about the others in this series. Who do you see making an impact in this series.
Shaq: I’ll tell you who has already had a tremendous impact is Bonifaz Wenninger. He was great against Tatum and Wiggins. That’s just a tough veteren going out and taking care of business at home. The question is can he do it on the road?
Zach: What about the Blazers?
Shaq: The name you gotta watch is Frank Jackson. He led the team in scoring in game 2 but turned the ball over 6 times in game 4. If the Blazers want to win this he is going to have to contribute without making costly mistakes.
Zach: Who do you like to win this series?
Shaq: I like the Blazers, my old team. I’m cheering for them. I also like Bagley in this one. Yeah, he couldn’t score in Denver but he pulled down a lot of rebounds. Briseno couldn’t score or rebound in Portland. In a tight series, that could be the difference. Who you got?
Zach: I’m putting my money on the Nuggets. Jerry West and the Syndicate always find a way this time of year. I like the adjustments they made in games 3 and 4. They have some really nice rotations going for them when they are outgunned.
Thanks everyone for joining us. This has been fun.
Shaq: Yeah, it has been. Shout out to all my peeps in Milwaukee. Sorry to see you guys lose. You’ll be back next year!
Shaq: Glad to be here, Zach.
Zach: So I’m a big, big fan of Inside the PBSL. You always talk about two things come playoff time, the big men and the others. What’s talk about the Nuggets-Blazers. What’s going on with the big men.
Shaq: There are a lot of good big men in this series. Donald, Drummond, Briseno, Bagley, Reading, Low. But none of them have been consistently great and come playoff time, you have to be great.
Zach: What is going on here? Bagley completely neutralized Briseno in games 1 and 2 in Portland and then Briseno turned around and completely owned Bagley in games 3 and 4 in Denver. Woj said something about ice cream. What is really going on.
Shaq: Well, Zach, at this point in his career, Bagley is still and other. He plays well at home in the playoffs but he doesn’t show up on the road. Briseno is not an other, his team needs him and he really didn’t show up in games 1 and 2. Maybe something was wrong. I love me some Salt and Straw. He probably does too.
Zach: Word is that the Nuggets GM is a fan as well. Maybe they had a little team outing or something.
Shaq: Me and Dirk used to eat a dozen Voodoo doughnuts before every game.
Zach: Are you kidding me?
Shaq: Nah, man. That’s what went wrong my second season there. We won 58 games and the next year we added Gary Payton and missed the playoffs. It was because me and Dirk were so out of shape. They were good times though.
Zach: Wow. Just wow. Tell me about the others in this series. Who do you see making an impact in this series.
Shaq: I’ll tell you who has already had a tremendous impact is Bonifaz Wenninger. He was great against Tatum and Wiggins. That’s just a tough veteren going out and taking care of business at home. The question is can he do it on the road?
Zach: What about the Blazers?
Shaq: The name you gotta watch is Frank Jackson. He led the team in scoring in game 2 but turned the ball over 6 times in game 4. If the Blazers want to win this he is going to have to contribute without making costly mistakes.
Zach: Who do you like to win this series?
Shaq: I like the Blazers, my old team. I’m cheering for them. I also like Bagley in this one. Yeah, he couldn’t score in Denver but he pulled down a lot of rebounds. Briseno couldn’t score or rebound in Portland. In a tight series, that could be the difference. Who you got?
Zach: I’m putting my money on the Nuggets. Jerry West and the Syndicate always find a way this time of year. I like the adjustments they made in games 3 and 4. They have some really nice rotations going for them when they are outgunned.
Thanks everyone for joining us. This has been fun.
Shaq: Yeah, it has been. Shout out to all my peeps in Milwaukee. Sorry to see you guys lose. You’ll be back next year!
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garbageman
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Re: Get Inside the First Lowe Interruption
Another enjoyable playoff recap. 10 points is media max, but take an 11th point.
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