2029‑2030 UTAH JAZZ PRESS CONFERENCE
digiskunk: First and foremost, I want to thank you everybody for arriving at this press conference. Second, and perhaps more importantly—and I cannot stress this enough—I urge you to check out Tool's latest album, which you can find on Spotify as well as numerous other streaming websites. You see, Tool has been my favorite band for a long while, and this album has been long awaited. I feel that it's important to note that they've just released this album and you should, by all means, check it out—especially if you're into progressive metal that has an underlying spiritual meaning.
Last season, we put our players to the test to see what they were capable of. Players such as Len Bias and Quintin Kidd excelled immensely, as did Mike Piazza and A.C. Williams. Although we clearly weren't in contention, we were happy with the results that they produced.
During the offseason, we signed Vernon Desantis to a mighty large deal. He'll be our center heading forward with A.C. backing him up. Vernon Desantis is quite the signing; despite his hit during training camp, he'll still be a force to be reckoned with heading forward.
We also drafted Leonard Washington, who is immensely talented at the game of dice. However, what people do not realize, is that he is also a fairly talented basketball player. We hope that he'll be a helpful asset for us.
Training Camp was a tough situation for us, as I, the manager, was in Michigan at the time. During that time period, apparently both Vernon and Mike Piazza both took a dramatic hit. This was something that I greatly feared entering the offseason, and apparently my fears culminated into a nightmare. Regardless of that fact, I'm happy to announce that I'm pretty satisfied with the new album that was released by Tool, my favorite band. Furthermore, I feel as if both Vernon and Piazza still have an immense role on this ballclub.
We still have players such as Silky Johnson, Len Bias, and Leonard Washington—these players, I hope, will be our future. And I sincerely believe that the rest will be as well, barring any unforeseen circumstances.
We plan on utilizing every player that we have in an attempt to grasp the title.
Now, for the questions: What ya got?
