First Take 18-19

[kucoach7]

Ahem. Now let me call YOU out, Stephen A Smith. A few weeks ago, you were QUOTED as saying the FOLLOWING sacrilegious nonsense:

Skip, I believe that you are high as a kite if you think the Suns are contenders. The Suns don't have a point guard! You think PATRICK RIORDAN is going to lead these guys to a championship!?!?

Right now, the Suns are 3-1 over the Trailblazers. And although you are right, the Suns don't exactly have a point guard, they play great TEAM BASKETBALL, which is further illustrated by the amount of assists that RYAN ANDERSON and KEVIN LOVE — two VERY BIG MEN — have been dishing out. For a guy who claims to know so much about basketball, you couldn't tell the difference between a Honda Civic and a Ford Model T! So far, Kevin Love has had games in which he's dishes out 11 assists, 8 assists, 4 assists. And you got guys like Ryan Anderson and Danny Green backing him up as well. For a guy who likes to pick on me for my PREFERRED STYLE of basketball, I expected you to know better, Stephen A. You laughed at me when I said that the Suns were contenders; now I'm forcing you to eat your words! Huzzah!

Skip, I'll admit I was wrong. I'll admit it. The Suns have put up a much stronger showing than I expected. But before I do so, I'd LIKE TO POINT ONE THING OUT. WHO DID I CALL OUT? I CALLED OUT PATRICK FRICKEN RIORDAN. What did Pat Riordan do the Blazers series? What did he do? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE DID. THE DUDE WAS BENCHED. AFTER STARTING 52 REGULAR SEASON GAMES, THIS DUDE WAS BENCHED. He play 32 MINUTES OVER THE COURSE OF THE ENTIRE SERIES. So I was wrong about the Suns not being contenders BUT I WAS NOT WRONG ABOUT PATRICK RIORDAN NOT BEING ABLE TO LEAD THEM IN THE POSTSEASON.

[digiskunk]

Stephen A, I'm finding it difficult to keep my eyes open today. I'm finding it difficult to stay awake. And you want to know why, Stephen A? Because after watching Game 7 between the Magic and Cavaliers last night, I was up all night masturbating. On a night when their city needed them the most, the Magic's starting 5 really stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the ballpark. James Harden had 27 points, DeAndre Jordan pulled down 12 rebounds, Paul George nearly had a triple-double, and Mike Muscala somehow convinced the couch to give him 5 minutes of playing time. If the Magic can continue to play great team basketball like this, and if they can find a way to contain Anthony Davis, I think the Magic have a legitimate chance of defeating the Pistons. All they have to do is contain Davis and play good team basketball. But as we both know, that's easier said than done, Stephen A.

[kucoach7]

Stephen A, I'm finding it difficult to keep my eyes open today. I'm finding it difficult to stay awake. And you want to know why, Stephen A? Because after watching Game 7 between the Magic and Cavaliers last night, I was up all night masturbating. On a night when their city needed them the most, the Magic's starting 5 really stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the ballpark. James Harden had 27 points, DeAndre Jordan pulled down 12 rebounds, Paul George nearly had a triple-double, and Mike Muscala somehow convinced the couch to give him 5 minutes of playing time. If the Magic can continue to play great team basketball like this, and if they can find a way to contain Anthony Davis, I think the Magic have a legitimate chance of defeating the Pistons. All they have to do is contain Davis and play good team basketball. But as we both know, that's easier said than done, Stephen A.

I want to take a moment to APPLAUD you, SKIP. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT! I want to APPLAUD YOU. I gotta hand it to you you put yourself out there like a man and expressed your feelings. NOT ONLY THAT, you're not afraid to tell THE WORLD about your FEELIN. NOW, on to basketball. This year's Orlando Magic squad is one of THE BEST TEAMS THE LEAGUE HAS EVER SEEN! This team beat out a 17 LOSS ATLANTA HAWKS team for the DIVISION CROWN! They just took down a RED HOT Cavs team. Anthony Davis better WATCH OUT. What are the DETROIT PISTONS going to do against the Magic? What are they gonna do? What are GRAVY-V, Lance the Pants, and Bojangles BOGROGRADMANOVICATOWSKI gonna do against JAMES HARDEN and PAUL GEORGE? If the Magic play DeAndre Jordan right and he shows up, the Magic got this.

[digiskunk]

Stephen A, I can't believe I'm saying this: We're actually going to have a PBSL Champion that isn't the Detroit Pistons! And as much as I respect their great organization and GM for the decisions that they've made over the last season, let's focus on the facts: The Magic were simply the better team. You knew it, I knew it, everybody knew it aside from the Pistons, who failed to show up in game 7. Anthony Davis' 38 points and 4 rebounds weren't nearly enough to prevent the Orlando Magic—who played great team baskeball, might I add—from advancing to the PBSL finals. Somehow, some way, the Magic were able to slay the dragon and advance to the Finals. And I can't help but feel as if this is truly a milestone for this franchised ballclub. They have played the game the right way: they decided to spread the ball around, they shared the ball, they passed that sh*t like it was a loose drunken hunny on a college date who was just asking for it — they did everything you can ask in order to advance to the finals.

Now I'm asking you, Stephen A: Do the Magic have what it takes to defeat the #1 seed Minnesota Timberwolves, who have risen to the occasion? I sincerely think so. I think the Orlando Magic are too potent; I feel that they've overmatched their opponents in every facet of the game in every way possible and/or probable. The Timberwolves have some great pieces—I'll admit that—but what they lack is the testicular fortitude heading forward. And that's exactly what the Magic have! They have all the pieces in place for a movie script ending. And I'll be damned if they're not going to run away with this thing!

So what do you say, Stephen A?

[kucoach7]

Stephen A, I can't believe I'm saying this: We're actually going to have a PBSL Champion that isn't the Detroit Pistons! And as much as I respect their great organization and GM for the decisions that they've made over the last season, let's focus on the facts: The Magic were simply the better team. You knew it, I knew it, everybody knew it aside from the Pistons, who failed to show up in game 7. Anthony Davis' 38 points and 4 rebounds weren't nearly enough to prevent the Orlando Magic—who played great team baskeball, might I add—from advancing to the PBSL finals. Somehow, some way, the Magic were able to slay the dragon and advance to the Finals. And I can't help but feel as if this is truly a milestone for this franchised ballclub. They have played the game the right way: they decided to spread the ball around, they shared the ball, they passed that sh*t like it was a loose drunken hunny on a college date who was just asking for it — they did everything you can ask in order to advance to the finals.

Now I'm asking you, Stephen A: Do the Magic have what it takes to defeat the #1 seed Minnesota Timberwolves, who have risen to the occasion? I sincerely think so. I think the Orlando Magic are too potent; I feel that they've overmatched their opponents in every facet of the game in every way possible and/or probable. The Timberwolves have some great pieces—I'll admit that—but what they lack is the testicular fortitude heading forward. And that's exactly what the Magic have! They have all the pieces in place for a movie script ending. And I'll be ****ed if they're not going to run away with this thing!

So what do you say, Stephen A?

I first just want to congratulate both teams on making it to the NBA finals. This is one step away from the pinnacle of achievement for people of your profession and you made it so good for you. I PARTICULARLY want to throw a shout out to my man JNR for reaching his first finals, something he has been deserving of for many years but which has, for one reason or another, eluded him. To put this in perspective he has made the playoffs 22 out of 30 seasons! He is truly one of the great GMs in our league and I'm happy for him.

Now, having said that, about the match up. I gotta say I don't like this match up for the Wolves. Obviously they're down 2-0 so that is the easy thing to say but what we're seeing here is the age old question of depth versus superstars. ONLY PROBLEM IS, THAT THE ORLANDO MAGIC HAVE BOTH! THEY HAVE BOTH! THEY'VE GOT THE BIG NAMES IN HARDEN, PAUL GEORGE, JORDAN. They've got studs at ever position. Lopez is over matched, Ish is injured. This just spells DISASTER for the WOLVES. Plain and simple.