As John Hagerman exits his limousine, he can't help but feel impressed by the size of the crowd that continues to grow outside of the Jazz's stadium. A player who's used to playing in smaller, cozier confines such as the Bradley Center in Milwaukee, he's astounded to see how many people have come to see him and Alton Towers — who was also acquired in the infamous trade with Milwaukee — debut for the Utah Jazz.
But almost as soon as he lifts his head out of the limo, a crowd of frenzied reporters quickly encircle him, immediately trapping him. He's instantly blinded by an array of camera flashes from photographers eager to get their first glimpse at the budding superstar. But for the Utah press, this is just business as usual.
"Mr. Hagerman, welcome to Utah! What are your first impressions of the city? What about the arena? Is a hot-dog a sandwich?" one of the reporters asks as he steps forward, anxious to get out as many questions as possible.
"Well, uhm, all of this — it's a little overwhelming, to be brutally honest... And wait, hot dogs? What?" Hagerman answers awkwardly before another reporter cuts into their conversation.
"Paul Trace, FOX Sports. Social media has been exploding ever since the trade was announced. You're the talk of the town! And as you're well aware, we love our basketball program here in Utah. How do you think you're going to fit in with this particular group of players?" Mr. Trace asks as he jams a microphone in John Hagerman's face, demanding a response.
"Well let's be perfectly clear. I loved what we were forming in Milwaukee; those are a great group of guys who I have the utmost respect for. You know, we were doing our own thang, but the GM had other ideas. I was a little blindsided by the trade to be honest, though I knew I was high on Utah's radar. I'm excited to be here because I think it's a perfect fit. I know Utah loves big men who can score and rebound, and that's exactly what Alton Towers and I bring to the table. He'll crash the glass and grab the defensive boards, and I'll slam them in on the other end like Oreo cookies in a glass of milk," Hagerman responds as a devilish grin slowly begins to form on his face. "Any more questions?"
Suddenly, just like that, his phone beeps. He looks down and it's a text from Alton Towers, who's also enroute to the arena: "Can you believe this? They're swarming me in the parking lot!" it reads. Hagerman goes to respond, but he doesn't have time. Another reporter jumps in front of him, this time with an old-school tape recorder in one hand and a small tablet in the other.
"Leonard Washington, ESPN. John, you went from one rebuilding team to another. What makes the situation here in Utah so much different from the one in Milwaukee?"
"Well for one, I know that I'm wanted here. I kept hearing from my people, 'the Jazz want you, they want you over there, they need another member for their Counter-Strike clan' — and knowing they cared about me that much has really inspired me. Standing here before you, I promise that I'll bring it all on the court. I'll take advantage of every minute they give me — and I know they're gonna give a big guy like me a lot of minutes because Utah is all about letting their prospects prove themselves," Hagerman replies as he puts on his new team-branded beanie.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have some basketballing to do..."
The crowd of reporters quickly disperse as the tall, dark knight confidently walks toward the Vivint Smart Home Arena. He's a man on a mission, and tonight, he has something to prove to all the haters out there. It's Hagertime, bitches.
