Before this moment, nobody even knew his name — nor did they care. Why should they? He was just another college kid with dreams of becoming a PBSL basketball player, just like the rest of us. Why should his story be any different? He was drafted in the 2nd round, and seldom—if ever—do those draft picks remain to have a successful career in PBSL. Yet still, here he was.
It isn't often that the press gathers around the podium to hear the words of a 2nd round draft pick, but tonight was one of those rare occasions. As the latest member of the Utah Jazz took the stand, the media quickly silenced their voices to hear what the youngster had to say.
It isn't often that the press gathers around the podium to hear the words of a 2nd round draft pick, but tonight was one of those rare occasions. As the latest member of the Utah Jazz took the stand, the media quickly silenced their voices to hear what the youngster had to say.
Newton Boatright: Hello everybody, thank you for having me. I know it isn't everyday that a player is drafted in the 2nd round and lives to tell the tale, but here I am. Somehow I managed to avoid the wrath of my team's general manager, and he has allowed me to remain with the team. My name is Newton Boatright, and I am one of the Utah Jazz's new shooting guards.
Reporters sitting in attendance look at each other quizzically, unsure of what to make of this kid. Was this some sort of gag? Did he just walk in off the streets and expect us to believe him? This was almost like some sort of bizarre Dave Chappelle sketch.
Newton Boatright: I'm 22 years old, and was drafted out of Houston in last year's draft as a shooting guard. As a player, I bring a lot to the table, which includes the ability to knock down a shot and defend the perimeter. I'm also really good at keeping seats warm on the bench, as well as fetching some refreshments for the other players. I'm good at a lot of things, just ask my old equestrian teacher, Mr. Hands.
I know that I am new, but I'm already beginning to come to terms with my role on this team; I understand I won't be starting, nor will I be a role player, but until the team signs some free agents, I'm literally the only shooting guard on the team. I'm serious. There's literally nobody else but me. So until the cavalry arrives, I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders.
I know there's going to come a time when I'll eventually have to ride the bench for a bit, and I'm alright with that. I'm alright with knowing that I'll probably only get to play "garbage time" minutes, or when an injury occurs — I'm alright with that. All I've ever wanted was to play in the PBSL, and I'm proud to be a member of the Utah Jazz.
Now, any questions?
