Bucks 2012/13 Media Presser

[IamQuailman]

GM: Greetings fellow basketballers, fake news correspondents, and fans around the world!

GM: A new season is upon us, but before we discuss this off-season, I would like to take a moment to reflect on last season's success. I saw those eyebrows raise at the word "success", but I meant what I said. We had TREMENDOUS success. We entered the season last year knowing it was a rebuilding year. But we were movers and shakers through and through. It is an alternative fact that Kyrie Irving was unofficial Rookie of the Year. No questions about it. Compare his stats to others. I'll wait. Then, we got to watch Enes Kanter take strides bigly throughout the season, as he posted some of the best rebounding numbers on our team. People may try to tarnish his image with their lies about how he was the worst player in the NBA, but I disagree. How can you call an unfinished project the worst? It's a bunch nonsense that the crooked media wants you all to believe. Trust me, he's going to be the best center of all time. Guaranteed. Trust me, okay? We also moved Michael Beasley for Kemba Walker who we think may be the best point guard prospect since John Stockton. Maybe even better. His potentials are yuuuge. And our expectations are as well.

GM: Talk about a successful season. You don't have to tell me about what successful looks like. I've been there plenty of times, built many great teams. Many should've won championships if the Crooked Lakers hadn't broken Shaq's skull. But anyway, I digress. What a successful season. We had so much support from you guys, so much support. Couldn't have done it without you. And that support carried over to this off-season, where we were easily the biggest winners. Easily. #5 pick in a draft loaded with 5 top tier players. We got the best player in the draft at #5, Khris Middleton. He was overlooked by the league, but he will surprise. He will open your eyes and make those other 4 teams regret passing on him. Then we opened negotiations with the rest of the league to move back in and acquire another pick. There was some yuuge talent on the board, and we didn't want to miss out. We moved back in at #9 where we got probably the 2nd best player in the draft, Harrison Barnes. Size, length, skillset to defend, shoot, score, rebound. He will dominate bigly for years to come. So grateful to have him on our squad. We acquired a couple other fine men, some of the finest men like Tony Wroten and Kyle Singler and Meyers Leonard. Great men who will grow into something special.

GM: The league can see we are doing something special here, something never done before. You could see that in free agency, when not only did we sign Andris Biedrins, the best center free agent center... but he took less money to come play for us. He saw that! He saw what we were doing and came into camp INSPIRED. Came into camp in the best shape of his life. No lies folks, he knew this team is on the rise. We are going to change things. Drain the swamps of the Central, clean out those Hawks and Raptors and Cavaliers. Replace them with something new, something BETTER.

GM: You are here to see the coming of a new age.... an age where together we can Make Milwaukee Great Again. Thank you.

[garbageman]

Is it true that David Clarke has season tickets this year?

[C-Prej]

Who is your starter at PF this year? Are you going with the older Bass or letting a youngster get playing time?

[IamQuailman]

Is it true that David Clarke has season tickets this year?

He's been a season ticket holder since the 90s! He's the best, one of the greatest men. Tremendous guy.

[IamQuailman]

Who is your starter at PF this year? Are you going with the older Bass or letting a youngster get playing time?

I'm not sure if you looked at the pre-season results, but Brandon Bass has been playing like a max-level player on a mid-level deal. He will be playing the bulk of the minutes for our team. He's an incredible team player, puts the group over us all. Even said he would bench himself if that was what we wanted. But we told him, "Look Brandon, you are the greatest PF this team has seen in recent history. Don't let the world look down on you. Don't let the fact that your previous teams looked down on your favor. This is your renaissance. You will be great again." Brandon is phenomal.

[fearthebrow]

Random Dallas reporter:

Word on the street in Dallas is that you declined a yuuuuge offer last season from the Mavs for Kyrie Irving. Any regrets not accepting that deal?

[78#]

Was it true you were making Andre Biedrins yell, "I AM QUAILMAN!!!" for motivational purposes?

[IamQuailman]

Random Dallas reporter:

Word on the street in Dallas is that you declined a yuuuuge offer last season from the Mavs for Kyrie Irving. Any regrets not accepting that deal?

We have no regrets. None. The offer was pretty good, but Kyrie is great. And in the end, we want to make Milwaukee GREAT. And you can't spell GREAT without KYRIE... and that's an alternative fact.

[IamQuailman]

Was it true you were making Andre Biedrins yell, "I AM QUAILMAN!!!" for motivational purposes?

What kind of question is this? Security, please escort this fake news correspondent to the street. *mimics reporter*

[WigNosy]

When are you going to make Milwaukee Great Again?

[IamQuailman]

When are you going to make Milwaukee Great Again?

Starting this season, although one could argue we have been working diligently the last 2 seasons to prepare for this big step.

Sent from my SM-G935P using Tapatalk

[TrayWithAnA]

My old nemesis... hell must be missing a sim-league GM...