Nathan Sliver: Hello all and welcome to this sevenfortyseven interview with Portland Trailblazers GM Kevin U. Coach VII. After the interview Kevin has graciously agreed to answer questions from the crowd.
Nathan Sliver: Kevin, it was a rough season last year. Tell us a little bit about that experience.
Kevin U. Coach VII: Well, it was a lot like most years in recent Blazers history. We came in with a nice core of Foster, Gooden, Dunleavy, Butler, Giricek, Raja, and Terry. We made a deal to send Raja and Gooden to bring in a star PF, Pau Gasol. But, as usual, the deal immediately backfired so we sold him to the Hawks for a late first round pick in order to tank. Unfortunately the only other player we could dump was Foster so we didn’t have great chances in the lottery. In short, it was rough but every year is rough.
Nathan Sliver: Every year is rough is right! Especially when you are at the helm! This is sevenfortyseven so let’s go to the numbers. Of the 26 GMs that have been around for more than 800 games you have the lowest win percentage and the lowest percentage of seasons qualifying for the playoffs.
- Win Pct.PNG (47.47 KiB) Viewed 1279 times
- PO Pct.PNG (47.41 KiB) Viewed 1279 times
Nathan Sliver: To put it bluntly, you’re the worst GM is PBSL history!
Kevin U. Coach VII: I’ve come to this realization myself over the past couple years as I have tried to win and put together good looking squads only to see them fall flat year after year. I obviously have learned nothing about this game over the past 16 years. I made excuses for years, blaming Dirk for being German, blaming Shaq and Payton for being old, blaming DerMarr for underachieving, blaming TC for lowering Mashburn’s trajectory but when it comes down to it, I’m not very good at my job.
Nathan Sliver: How have you stuck with it though? There have been worse GMs in the league but they quit. What gets you out of bed in the morning? What keeps you coming back for more disappointment year after year?
Kevin U. Coach VII: I’m not sure. Honestly, the plan was to retire after this offseason and I would have if we wouldn’t have jumped in the lotto like we did. I’m energized by the thought of building around D-Rose. I do kind of regret not trading him for Horford when I look ahead to next year’s draft, with so many promising guards. We would have been well set with Horford and, say, Curry or Harden. I just didn’t think ahead, surprise surprise.
Nathan Sliver: So it looks like you’re headed for another terrible season. Talk to me about your expectations.
Kevin U. Coach VII: Yeah, we’re going to be bad. This season was supposed to be about developing Splitter and Rose but Splitter spent too much time on the beach sipping Caipirinhas this offseason and lost most of his potential. It is no secret that we are actively trying to unload Butler, Dunleavy, and Giricek. We’re big fans of Caron but we know he just doesn’t fit with our plans anymore. So at this moment the goal is to try to land another promising pick and keep our eyes on the future.
Nathan Sliver: Wow, this has been depressing. Let’s open it up for questions.