NOLa.'s Super Filthy Random Media Thread; Part 1

[NOLa.]

Inspired by general manager X1st's #1 hit Countdown to Y2k - A Sim League Retrospective, and a sudden need of media points for All Star Game training, I've decided to breakout the laptop and try my hand in writing an article after a small hiatus. I couldn't really decide on one particular piece to write on, so I figured "Why not combine several ideas into several different, smaller rankings?"

I decided to try and mix things up and cover two main topics

• Power Tankings
  
• Top Performing Rookies of the First Half

Thanks to a suggestion, I will also sprinkle in random tidbit write ups such as Trade Winners, Losers, & WTF Is He Thinking and maybe some other random smaller write ups as well.

I will be starting this soon and will update the thread with a new post with random article selections, so you may not get a full Power Tanking write up in one sitting, or even in consecutive posts. Replies and comments are welcomed as I don't care about keeping this clean, and yes, shots will be fired very soon. Stay tuned to see if your team gets an infamous mention.

Have fun.

[NOLa.]

POWER TANKINGS

Yes, that's right! Power Tankings is back, baby! Brought to you first in Season 3 by yours truly, replicated but never duplicated, it's time to bring this sucka back.

WHY!?

Because we have some dumbass fools tanking for what has been dubbed the worst draft class in the history of league. Did you know the NBA began on June 6th, 1946? That's less than a full year of when World War II ended. In 54 years, FIFTY FOUR YEARS, this class is called the worst. You can argue that the first draft class was a bunch of 6' white boys that couldn't dribble between the legs, but god dammit this 2000 class is horrible.

This 2000 class has to have some players better than the one's in the photo above, right?

WRONG.

So let's get this ball rolling.

~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`~`*`

#6: Portland Trailblazers
Ah, my divisional rival (all Pacific teams are my rivals, but not all are equal... I'm looking at you Lakers and Warriors). I kind of feel for the Blazers here because they were a team that I felt were on the rise after getting Dirk in the previous draft. Unfortunately, the downward spiral of Shawn Bradley did not help turn the team's fortune around. The Blazers management made, what I feel, was the right move and decided to switch gears and build for a better tomorrow. Luckily, they were able to build in last season's draft before going all in on 2000 like others, and have Manu Ginobili and Cuttino Mobley to build around Dirk, which is why I have them last in my ranking of tankers.

They are in a weird spot of having their youth develop, but still sending out veterans for future assets. I wouldn't call this tanking as much as it is a true rebuild. But hey, THIS IS MY WRITE UP AND YOU JUST GOT TANK WATCH'D!

Look for the Blazers to be a top contending Pacific team in two or so seasons. Dirk and Manu is a solid duo, and are a true PG and an anchor C away from a complete team.

Who Duh Frye They Might Pick In This Shitty Draft: Jamaal Magloire

[IamQuailman]

I'm a little moist

[NOLa.]

Nope, that # isn't a reflection on his age, it's the ranking for the

#5 Orlando Magic
The team that made it to the NBA Finals before getting power fisted by the Golden State Kemp is now in the Top 5 of the Power Tankings. We haven't seen such a dramatic change since the Atlanta Hawks moved aging Magic "AIDS In My" Johnson, but losing to the Warriors tend to have that impact. Some say the Magic might have had a lucky run last season with the Celtics taking a season off and the Bucks living up to seasons past of losing in the conference finals, but how many teams can say they have been to the finals? Very few, thanks to the same OP players carrying their teams to the dance over and over.

I wanted to rank them higher than this, but dammit the picks they gathered are hot shit in this draft. This isn't a one season rebuild, or even a two season rebuild. This may go all the way to the 2003 draft, but if you thought the 1996 draft had some tanking teams, 2003 will prove to be king. Back to the picks, the one decent pick they have is the Bulls 01, but they have no talent aside from Stackhouse and the owner wants to trade him as well! It will be interesting to see what they can get in return for Stack, but his defense could hurt more than help most teams.

Either way, general manager coltsguy had this to say about his collection of "Many 2000 picks"

[NOLa.]

Time to switch gears and start our new segment, the Top Performing Rookies of the First Half brought to you by NOLa. Remember, if NOLa. said it, it has to be true.

CUMMING IN AT #5

Shawn Marion

Just what the Frye is his position? It's no surprise that the team with multiple official cities has a prime time player that can play multiple positions. He has the developing jumper of a guard, the athleticism of a wing, and the strength/defense/rebounding of a forward. He reminds me a lot of a McGrady, who makes his living on the perimeter, but Marion will make his living everywhere on the court. There aren't a lot of weaknesses to his game if he develops. The big question mark is passing, but he wasn't built for high usage like his teammate Baron Davis. He's honestly the perfect 3&D SF we all wish we had, shooting a near 40% from deep and leading his team in rebounding rate as an undersized PF.

He's built nicely and has a good athleticism package to boot that can carry him into All NBA honors in the future, and right now he's averaging 10.7ppg-6.8rpg. Not bad for the rook in VanMemphis.

[NOLa.]

BREAKING: THIS EPISODE OF DATE TRAPE MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN, SO PLEASE BEN JUST SKIP THIS POST

So there you are, minding your own business looking at the index and reading through the forum having a good time, when your hip cooler friend comes along intoxicated and puts his hand on your ass.

"What are you doing" you tell him, confused and thrown off.

"What? I'm just messing" he responds.

This is unlike him. Very unlike him. You've known him for years and it's never been intimate. He was your friend, maybe even best friend, when you were the new kid in school. He was always there, but now he's acting different.

He does it again, smiling.

"No! Stop" you exclaim.

He does it AGAIN.

"NO MEANS NO!"

This continues until...



Trapes happen, and it can happen to you! Don't be a trape victim like the one discussed below.



SCENE OF THE CRIME: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=160

VICTIM: SONICS

SUSPECT: CELTICS

BACKGROUND: Welcome back, Trell. Now pull down your pants and grab your ankles. Doug Christie, a P/P all league defender, gets dealt for WHAT!?! Two 2000 picks and Celtics 2002 pick. Three picks, that's decent.... WAIT DID YOU SAY 2000!?!?! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL Frye

This either went unnoticed or you were that neighbor that decided "It's none of my business" while the victim was crying for help. If so, you should feel ashamed.

[NOLa.]

We are switching gears again to the always popular POWER TANKINGS.

COMING IN AT #4!

#4 Chicago Bulls
First off, I'm impressed as all holy shit that Prep came in, made a trade immediately, and arguably came out on top. Despite a suggestion that he should hold off trading until next season, Prep said "Frye that" and grabbed himself alpha-male Erick Strickland.

Back to the ranking, this ranking has more to do with the previous ownership than new. But the show must go on, and it's something when you are beating the Pistons in lowest-total-wins. Even with Kobe Bryant, the Bulls can't win games. And now with the new trade, the Bulls are lacking a second starting big that can grab rebounds. They will get worse with this trade this season, but it sets them up for better things later. But without their pick next season they may not rebuild as fast as they would want, and Kobe is fixing to get paid and take up a sizable chunk of their cap, but nothing too serious.

Here's to hoping the new ownership brings some competition into the pathetic Central division. If they do bring some wins to Chicago (finally), I can only assume their fans will do something like this in downtown.

[NOLa.]

League's Most Talked About Player

There hasn't been a player more talked about this season than backup SF Shandon Anderson of the Sacramento Kings, but how did this player barely averaging 10 minutes a game become so popular he's in everyone's mouf these days? The story is still unclear over how the legend of Shandon started, but the Kings owner has a theory.

"Sometimes, people look at successful teams and try to duplicate them, but they don't know why they can't get the same results," team owner NOLa. explained. "Then, they look for what they don't have compared to such team. And I guess it's Shandon Anderson. He does just about everything well, not elite, but well, and comes to work everyday to better himself. He has an attitude on the court which is infectious. He's, dare I say, alpha-male-ish."

And there it is, yet another hidden gym picked up by the Kings late in the '96 draft that has taken on the traits of an alpha-male player.

But what is an alpha male player, you ask? Here are some traits that such players possess.

• Ability to win games

Thus, this is why Shandon has been the talk of the league.

[IamQuailman]

LOL @ Questionable Work Ethic

[NOLa.]

To continue the Top Performing Rookies of the First Half article, we look East to what was once referred to as "Oldlanta"

CUMMING IN AT #4

Andre Miller

Staying true to the owner's consistent build around defense, Andre Miller fits in perfectly with the Atlanta Hawks. Miller brings to the table a capable ball handler and a playmaker who can make plays with others, and he definitely has some teammates who can score. As a rookie, he has impressed many with a 39.2 assist rate to a 12.7 turnover rate, and is currently 3rd in assists per game in the league. Miller is pushing a near double-double with a line of 10.3 - 8.4 - 4.2.

Miller still has a lot of room to develop, especially on defense, and has the athleticism to hold up against any PG. He's a little slow with 81 quickness, but he's always in control and has helped push the Hawks into division contention.

[NOLa.]

POWER TANKINGS UPDATE

#3 Detroit Pistons
Life after Steve Smith sure isn't pretty for the Pistons. Detroit realized it was time to put an end to the chapter that was Smith, and got a pretty decent haul to fuel their tank from the Jazz. Derek Fisher is a solid player who will hit the RFA market, so it will be interesting to see how much the Pistons value him. There are some bright spots such as Al Harrington and James Posey, but neither of them scream "superstar" like Smith did when he entered the league nearly a decade ago.

And I doubt they get such a superstar in this draft as well. The Pistons have options in building this team, as they could grab a solid big man in Jamaal Magloire or a SG such as Crawford or Miller and try to compete as a mid-tier team, or they could tank one more season into the 2001 draft. I think they'll do the latter, as I don't think any teams near the bottom of the standings can truly turn their fortunes around with this draft.

[NOLa.]

Part 1 is finished, stay tuned later in the week to see the rest of NOLa.'s Super Filthy Random Media Thread.

WHO IS THE TOP TANKER

WHO IS THE TOP ROOKIE SO FAR

WHO ELSE HAS BEEN TRAPED

It's all coming soon

[Trell]

No surprise I was in this article. Doug was someone I liked. I was unaware of the possibility of in season resigning and feared losing him.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[IamQuailman]

Just a heads up on those inseason resignings... they are only for players who offer to resign (game decides) who are NOT coming off their rookie deal

[IamQuailman]

AWARDED 5 POINTS! THANKS FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION!