Teams Who Lost to the 2004-2005 Cavaliers... They Suck Baaad

[42PhD]

1. Denver Nuggets 109-103, 11/19/2004

Dwyane Wade fouled out because he couldn't handle Cleveland's offensive onslaught. Denver's panic trade for Garnett is likely a direct result of this loss and exposing of their bullshit little backcourt.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box32-6.htm


2. Minnesota Timberwolves 91-77, 11/29/2004

Chris Bosh literally couldn't be bothered to show up. Still, in a game where Micheal Redd was limited to just 4 points because of corrupt referees, the Timberwolves were exposed by none other than Quentin Richardson who valiantly kept Rip Hamilton at bay both exacting revenge for his hetero-life-mate, Michael Redd, and invalidating the entire Timberwolves offseason and current plan to build, as the team has admitted in panhandling for upgrades.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box42-1.htm


3. Miami Heat 110-108, 1/6/2006

What good is 40 points when you need 43, LeBron? I'll tell you: It's not. It's bad. If you'd won this, you'd be in the 8th seed right now, but you aren't. Don't worry though, in a few years, you can come here and join our super team. I'll bench your bald ass, but you can join.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box80-6.htm


4. New Jersey Nets 92-91, 1/7/2005

4th Quarter Time Remaining: 0:13 Cavaliers 92, Nets 89
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nets ball: Defense: Help

Stephon Marbury drives to the top of the key.
Stephon Marbury passes the ball to Drew Gooden (Deep Right wing).
Drew Gooden passes the ball to Jameer Nelson (Left corner).
Jameer Nelson shoots a three-pointer from the left corner.
No good.
Chris Kaman tries to tip in the miss...It's good.

Final Score - Cavaliers 92, Nets 91

Story of your Fryeing life.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/pbp/?id=81-2


5. New York Knicks 94-91, 1/9/2005

The Warriors swept the Cavs. Looks like you picked the wrong horse, sweet meat. The Hawks only beat the Cavs by 1, so I'm not sure you're getting good advice, either. It's a shame.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box83-1.htm


6. Seattle Supersonics, 103-102, 1/15/2005

You can't even tank right. You had 45 point quarter, then lost, but only by 1. What are you even thinking? Are you going to draft like you GM, because I hope so. This is truly incredible.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box89-1.htm


7. Seattle Supersonics, 105-99, 1/27/2005

Came back for seconds? Yeah, the chicks all do. I eat mango, so . . .

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box101-2.htm



8. Detroit Pistons, 105-99, 3/13/2005

If only there was a lottery for DC's, you'd be ok. Well, and trades and free agency, but definitely DC's. Don't worry, you might win the lottery . . . for the Lakers. Oh, wait. No. Maybe you at least look nice today.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box146-6.htm



9. Atlanta Hawks, 109-97, 3/16/2005

The defining victory in all Sim League is right here. The weakest team in the League and the worst franchise in history, despite Darth's "best" efforts, take down, on the second night of a back-to-back, the winningest team in the League and the championingest team in the League. After brutally whipping their bird asses in the first quarter, 32-13, we played Hawk and shotgun for bit. No Cavs player had a - or 0 +/-; No Hawk had a + +/-, and only Nocioni, who the vaunted GM has publicly abandoned, had a 0. This was a bloody anal rape in all phases of the game. No chocolate, no cab money, no lube, no regrets.

Player of the Game: James Jones

Here's what Wig had to say about Jones on Draft Day: Parents, teach your kid to shoot threes. It's the only skill he will ever need.

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1468&start=25#p14067

Well, James Jones went 1-4 from 3, 5-9 overall, and 7-7 from line to be player of the game. Oh? Wait? What's this? James Jones at 25? How did the Cavs pick at 25? That's a pick only big winning frachises make? Oh, well . . . that the Hawks' pick, and this was it getting shoved up their hawky asses.

We took down the Hawks when no one else could, by eating Sprewell's contract (to this day). We beat them off the court, the same way he beat all of you, and now we beat him on the court with our team of castaways.

There is light the world, there is hope for us all, because the god damned witch is dead and she's gargling my nuts in Heaven.

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1468&start=25#p14067

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box149-3.htm


10. Indiana Pacers, 102-94, 3/26/2005

You know this money is fake, right? Fake spend that shit. It's helps in Sim League, and it helps to spend the real stuff on date, too, if you want to get a wet willy.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box159-6.htm



11. Portland Trail Blazers, 83-69, 4/01/2005

You must have seen the Sonic licking their fingers after a juicy second serving, huh? After going 19-30 which is weak even for the West, though they beat the Cavs, the big trade was supposed to save Portland. Since then, the Fail Blazers have gone 12-15, but 0-1 against the Cavs. A little improvement here, a huge disappointment there. Fitting for the Pacific Northwest. Darius Miles got his second ever player of the game against you, putting up a double-double. You have $39,023,762 at starting Center and Forwards in Kandi, Dirk, and DerMarr. Miles makes $702,011. I guess it was the extra $11, huh? You Fryeing bum. Take a bath and consider your Fryeing ways.

http://pbsl.ijbl.net/boxes/box166-4.htm

[LoCo89]

*nervously circles March 1st*

[42PhD]

*nervously circles March 1st*

I'm on your ass.

Note well, the Lakers, Hornets, and Bucks narrowly (one shot) escaped the suck vortex, but it's a loooong season.

[JNR]

Cool story, Glenn.

[TheSyndicate]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[42PhD]

Updated after the 4 win Sim.

[ballsohard]

Ha at the Knicks one

[NOLa.]

You made me laugh at 5 in the morning. I dont think that's ever happened before.

Sent via Morse code

[RPF]

story of my sim league life

[IamQuailman]

i glol'd

[42PhD]

Updated because the Sonics came back for more and the Pistons really suck even after all the little praise they got in the offseason, which was just cute.

[NickMalone77]

Can't add the Hornets to the list this season. Good luck next season, m8.

[42PhD]

Can't add the Hornets to the list this season. Good luck next season, m8.

You suck for other reasons, and you know it. Otherwise, why all the trades?

[NickMalone77]

Can't add the Hornets to the list this season. Good luck next season, m8.

You suck for other reasons, and you know it. Otherwise, why all the trades?

To avoid being like the other teams on this list. And to make the playoffs and more.

[42PhD]

Can't add the Hornets to the list this season. Good luck next season, m8.

You suck for other reasons, and you know it. Otherwise, why all the trades?

To avoid being like the other teams on this list. And to make the playoffs and more.

And because you needed to because you suck. Otherwise, just make the playoffs and make trades to suck, like the Hawks (who actually tried to deny their worsening in their presser).

At any rate: You're welcome for the list.

[NOLa.]

I love this. I have no other thoughts, because this is one of the best updated threads ever.

Sent via Morse code

[NickMalone77]

The team mascot next to Travis Outlaw when the Cavs win against an opposing player...

[42PhD]

Will be updating this <expletive deleted> tonight. Wait for it.

[NOLa.]

Sent via Morse code

[42PhD]

Sent via Morse code

Don't beg, sweetie, you'll know when I'm ready.

Updated.

[42PhD]

Updated with Portland shame.

[IamQuailman]

hooooooooly Frye

[42PhD]

It was actually the Sonics pick for Jones, not the Hawks, but I thought it was a good story. Heels cheat, Frye it, right?

[NOLa.]

I'm so sad this is going to be over tonight. Maybe next season?

[42PhD]

We'll see. I have some ideas. None are good for you, but at least your sphincter is loose to start.