Owner:A cracking portrait, the fondling of the trophies
The null of losing, can you afford that luxury?
A sore winner, but I'll just keep my mouth shut
It shouldn't bother me, but it does
Glad to see you sons of bitches have learned to at least hide any smirks you have. We said we were serious about making the playoffs, and we did. Nerdo did what it took, I spent what it took, and that blockhead coach figured out some things that worked finally.
Coach:
We just need to put the ball in that hole. When it comes out, we need to get the ball again.
Owner:
Jesus Frye.
At any rate, we've talked about the plan, and we're going to keep pushing as is for the most part . . . until we don't. We know we can't win a title, and that's not the goal, at least in the short term. We're not deluded like most of the chimps you are used to interviewing. We're losers, we know. But, just like we helped ruin the Hawks last season, exactly like we said would despite the best efforts of the enablers of the league, we may take a shot at a contended this season, too, just to be dicks. Or, we may gift a dark horse some of our best players, again, just to be dicks.
I don't know when we'll push reset, but when we do, buckle the Frye up, because
WE
ARE
GOING
TO
TANK
And we are going to do it in a spectacular fashion. You will have never seen anything like it. You will have outcry for intervention, but you won't get it. Personally, I can't wait.
In conclusion, Frye you all, suck my dick, and your wife already did. Oh, did I forget to point to whose? Awwww...
Pencildick, take over.
GM:
As always, thank you, sir, for allowing us to operate this team in the manner we do.
To, uhhhh, clarify the plan, many of you have noticed that we have not really engaged in much trading. We've set our time table, and only special deals will cause us to change that. It's been the same from the beginning. We'll reset during or just after this season. When depends on the deals and the . . . strategic insight . . . of ownership.
Our goals this season, aside from the overarching time table, include winning as much as possible and upsetting the competitive structure of the League. Our team employs principles of economics, science, philosophy, and game theory in our operations. Some simple and overlooked ideas are to only play games, or to at least bet more, when the odds are in your favor to win. The League is a number of simultaneous games, and only focusing on one leads to poor results, or at best inconsistent good results. We were not able to beat the top teams in the League on the court, but we were able to help hand the Title to the Raptors by weakening the Hawks. This and the Hawks' in ability to actually manage a roster, something we have spend great resources on, had as much to with the Title as the bona fide talent on and off the court in the Commonwealth. Congratulations to the Raptors and Soundwave and "You're welcome."
We will continue this. The dissolution of our team will consist in bestowing our assets on teams that prove their work, and they'll get the assets at a discount. Similarly, we'll take on bad assets from otherwise promising teams in a effort to break up the logjam in the League.
This is not entirely to serve the end of chaos, though management insists that order be destroyed, but it will create inefficiencies for us to exploit in our rebuild. These inefficiencies are what we I really want, and we are prepared to wait for them while we sit on our war chest.
And so begins the season.
And so begins the contest to win our best players and our cap space.
And so begins the questioning.
What if there's no more fun to have?
And all I've got is what I had?
What if I have forgotten how?
Cut my losses and get out now?
