Portland Trailblazers Pre-Season Presser 1988-89

[WigNosy]

The cat sits dourly, fidgeting in his chair while the Portland PR staff hands out brownies and milk cartons to the assembled reporters. After giving the reporters perhaps a few minutes more to enjoy the brownies than he should have, the cat slowly rises and leaps onto the podium.

"What a waste of a season. As you all know, the goal here is championship or bust. And we busted. Again. Swept in embarrassing fashion by the Spurs (yes, I know, we lost 4-3, but we were up 3-0 then got swept out of the next four games). Of course I'm not at all happy."

The cat flicks on an overhead projector and an enormous likeness of Kevin McHale appears on the screen behind him.

"Yes, that was on the bench in Game 7 last year. Right after the overtime buzzer sounded. What do you notice about this picture? Kevin is laughing. LAUGHING! We got Kevin assuming he was the missing piece. What we discovered was that he brought the Hawks' losing mentality to us. He's sawft. A beta."

The cat winces, then chucks a notecard over his head. "How did Darth's notes about Tyrese Haliburton get in here?"

He continues, "anyway, the punch line is we thought bringing in McHale might give us a puncher's chance against the Spurs' cast of #1 overall picks. Joke's on us. So now we have to ..." an intern rushes to the podium and hands the cat a note. The cat studies the note and his eyes narrow in hate. "Wait, seriously?" There's a long pause, then the cat mutters under his breath, "this is what the phrase, 'basketball reasons' is made for... seriously, does Eazy have photos of the Bullets GM and the Commissioner in a compromising position?"

"So... it would appear that the Spurs added an 8-time MVP to an already ridiculously stacked roster. Magic Johnson is a Spur. That is probably great for the fans in San Antonio, but it makes the league overall into an absolute travishamockery and destroys competitive balance. But what do I know, I'm just a cat."

"No, I'm not going to give up that easily. We're going to continue to be an egoless team. The only room we have for egos is here in the GM's suite. This is going to be another season where we follow our plan and hopefully get another crack at the title. We are moving on from Kevin McHale, and we're not going to just cede the title to the Spurs and deliberately bench all-start 25-point-per-game scorers for half a season to help ourselves tank for a superstar, even though that would be the eazy way to do it. Here, we pride ourselves on competitive integrity. Winning is not the only thing that matters. HOW we win matters."

"We didn't have any key pieces hit free agency last season (why yes, that WAS good planning on my part, thank you) but unfortunately did not add any significant pieces either. Nobody wanted to take our MLE money. At least that means we can cut a couple of vet min guys if we need to and get under the tax. We did move on from McHale - our series with the Spurs showed me we were too thin at SG and so I brought in Calvin Natt for some extra depth there and drafted Sarunas Marciulionis - he may be a little older than your typical rookie, but we're counting on his veteran savvy to help us out."

"The injury to Newman forced us to try some different options last season and we discovered that Michael Williams wasn't as ready for prime time as we hoped. We've put him into a training regimen to start helping him improve his defense, and with Lester Conner overeating while hanging out with Michael Jordan during the off-season, we're assigning a specialist to keep an eye on Michael as it seems likely his turn in the spotlight is coming faster than he thinks... but if not, we also drafted Dana Barros to keep things competitive at PG."

"I expect we have the pieces in place to step up and continue our winning ways. Are we the favorites in the West? No. That's the Spurs, full stop. Can we make them sweat? I'd like to think so."

[greepleairport]

So, did Eazy have photos of Mike Lowry in a compromising position? Did Darth break into your presser and leave his notes in your notestack? What is going on and when and how will the Cat be Back?! I know the BFTB won't stand idly with a 2-5 record...

[Mike Lowry]

Rumor is you had an inside track on Magic and chose McHale instead.
Are you proud of yourself?
Is this the great future you were predicting when you were sitting on that pile of picks and young talent?
If you land on your feet after a fall from grace, are you just another cat?

[WigNosy]

Rumor is you had an inside track on Magic and chose McHale instead.
Are you proud of yourself?
Is this the great future you were predicting when you were sitting on that pile of picks and young talent?
If you land on your feet after a fall from grace, are you just another cat?

We were told the Bullets were seeking a "rebuild" package - and we did not have the cap space to absorb Magic for just "rebuild" pieces, so talks never really got started. Rumors of our demise are greatly over-exaggerated.

[WigNosy]

So, did Eazy have photos of Mike Lowry in a compromising position? Did Darth break into your presser and leave his notes in your notestack? What is going on and when and how will the Cat be Back?! I know the BFTB won't stand idly with a 2-5 record...

I don't know about photos of Mike Lowry; however, I think the Bullets sold Magic for pennies on the dollar. I'm sure they saw, "get my own pick back!" and "wow, FOUR first round picks" but the Spurs picks will be at the end of the draft, so it's really getting TWO first round picks... I know people love to have their own picks when they tank, but I question whether or not it's worth it to tank hard, as it takes more than a single player to start a turnaround.

I know everyone is anxious to jump on us and dance on our grave after a 2-5 start, but I'm confident this is just an anomaly and based on a small sample size. We're in this for the long haul.