1985 Draft Lottery Show

[Eazy P]

(The classic Big Brother theme music swells as the show opens. A dramatic montage of team logos, a spinning lottery hopper, and the intensely focused faces of the GMs flashes across the screen.)



Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: (Standing on the iconic stage, a sly smile playing on her lips.) "Hello, and welcome to the season finale of Big Brother: The NBA Draft Lottery! Tonight, 11 houseguests the GMs of the teams with the worst records in the league are about to face the ultimate eviction. Only one will remain to be crowned the Head of Household and win the most coveted prize in basketball: the number one pick in the 1985 NBA Draft and the right to draft college superstar, Chris Mullin. These team have been through ups and downs, tank battles and now they are here on finale night with a shot at claiming the #1 overall pick. The suspense is real, the stakes are astronomical, and in this house, you must always… expect the unexpected."

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: Before we get to the results let's take a look at the prospects.


This year's draft is widely considered one of the deepest and most talented in recent memory, headlined by a generational center and filled with potential future All-Stars and Hall of Famers.
Here is a look at some of the top names on every team's draft board:

The Consensus Number One Pick



Chris Mullin, SF, St. John's: A crafty and intelligent small forward with an elite shooting touch. Mullin is a pure scorer who can create his own shot and knock down jumpers from anywhere on the court. While he has elite athleticism, his basketball IQ, and work ethic are off the charts. Some scouts believe he could be a star in the league for a very long time.


The Rest of the Top Tier



Patrick Ewing, C, Georgetown: There is no debate at the top. Ewing is the most coveted player in this draft, a dominant 7-foot center who single-handedly anchored a tough Georgetown team. He's a powerful force in the paint, a ferocious rebounder, and an elite shot-blocker. He possesses a polished offensive game with a signature turnaround jumper. His fierce competitive nature and defensive prowess make him a franchise cornerstone from day one. He is widely considered the kind of player who can transform a team's fortunes and put them on the path to a championship.




Karl Malone, PF, Louisiana Tech: A powerful and athletic forward, Malone has the physical tools to be a dominant player. He has a solid mid-range shot and the strength to score in the paint. He is a great rebounder and has a relentless motor. He may not be a household name like Ewing, but he is a player who could make a significant impact down the line.



Terry Porter, PG, Wisconsin-Stevens Point: Porter is an intriguing prospect from a smaller school, but he has the tools that translate to the NBA. A 6'3" point guard, he's known for his hard-nosed defensive play, high basketball IQ, and a tireless motor. He was a two-time NAIA All-American and even earned NAIA Player of the Year honors as a junior. His performance in the Olympic trials also caught the attention of NBA scouts.



Benoit Benjamin, C, Creighton: A talented but raw 7-foot center, Benjamin has a massive frame and great length. He is a solid rebounder and shot-blocker who can be an inside presence. His offensive game is still developing, and there are questions about his consistency and motor, but his size and potential are undeniable.



Xavier McDaniel, SF/PF, Wichita State: "The X-Man" is a high-energy, physical forward known for his tenacious rebounding and relentless motor. He can score from the low post and has a solid mid-range jumper. His intensity and toughness are his greatest assets, and he's seen as a player who can immediately contribute on both ends of the floor.

Potential Sleepers and Late-Lottery Gems




Detlef Schrempf, SF/PF, Washington: The German-born forward is a versatile and fundamental player. He can play either forward position, is a skilled passer, and an excellent shooter. He's a smart player who excels at moving without the ball and finding open teammates. His high basketball IQ and well-rounded game make him a very safe pick with a high ceiling.



Charles Oakley, PF, Virginia Union: A physical and intimidating power forward from a small college. Oakley is known for his rugged rebounding, tough defense, and no-nonsense attitude. He's a bruiser in the paint and a great role player who can set hard screens and do the dirty work. He's a long-term NBA contributor waiting to be discovered.



Joe Dumars, SG, McNeese State: A strong and fundamentally sound shooting guard. Dumars is a great defender with a high basketball IQ and a reliable jump shot. He's not a flashy player, but he is a winner who makes the right play. He's a perfect fit for a team looking for a two-way guard who can contribute immediately.

[Eazy P]

(The camera pans to the GMs seated in a semi-circle, each clutching their team's "house key," a sealed envelope.)



Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "Houseguests, your fate is no longer in your hands. The balls have been drawn, the results are sealed, and your final order is about to be revealed. We'll find out the final draft order from 11 to 1. The last envelope remaining is the winner of the #1 pick. Let’s get to it."

(Julie holds up the first envelope, her face a mask of practiced neutrality.)

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "The first houseguest to be evicted from the #1 pick race is… the New Jersey Nets. You've earned the 11th pick.

(The Nets’ GM RPF, a man with a tired look in his eyes, offers a polite nod. He knows they were long shots.)



Diary Room: Nets GM RPF: (Sighing and shaking his head.) "I mean, listen, we weren't expecting to win. You go into these things hoping for a miracle, but you gotta be realistic. We'll find a good player at 11. It's fine. It's fine. We're safe."

[Eazy P]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "Ok lets move on and who's next to be evicted. The second houseguest leaving the competition is… the Golden State Warriors. You will be picking at #10."

(The Warriors’ GM Greeple, a ambitious man, looks genuinely deflated.)




Diary Room: Warriors GM Greeple: (His voice tight with emotion.) "It's just… you get your hopes up, you know? You tell yourself you have a shot. A one-in-a-million chance is still a chance. To be shut out so early… it stings. It really stings."

[RPF]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "Ok let's open the next envelope to see whos next to be evicted. Cleveland Cavaliers… you’re out of the running. You’ll be selecting at #9."

(The Cavs rep, just stares ahead, a quiet acceptance on his face.)



Diary Room: Cavs GM jlmarines: "We're used to it. The lottery hasn't been kind to us. It's like a curse. You just hope the balls will fall your way for once, but they never do. What can you do?"

[RPF]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "And the drama continues! Lets see who is the next GM to be evicted.....Dallas Mavericks, you're picking at #8."

(The Dallas GM KeepIt100 offers a polite, but clearly forced, smile.)



Diary Room: Mavericks GM KeepIt100: "You can't show weakness. Even in this game. Everyone's looking at you. You have to act like you're happy with #8, even if you’re dying on the inside. You just hope that one day, you'll be the one celebrating."

[Eazy P]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "We've reached a pivotal moment. Two teams have a key from another franchise. First up, the Milwaukee Bucks, with the pick from the Atlanta Hawks. You are out of the running for the top spot. You are evicted from the lottery. You will be selecting at #7."

(The Bucks GM Quailman nods, unfazed. He's a veteran of the game.)



Diary Room: Bucks GM Quailman: “Julie or do you like it when i call you BigDaddy, you said expect the unexpected but I expected this pick to be lottery. Maybe I can use it to get last year's MVP voted on by his peers....Sampson.”

[Eazy P]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "Now, the Utah Jazz… you hold two keys. One from Denver and one of your own. Let's see your pick from the Denver Nuggets… and you are safe! You will be picking at #6."

(The Jazz GM Xist lets out a small sigh of relief. He still has one more shot.)



Diary Room: Jazz GM Xist: (Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, speaking with urgency.) "I knew it was going to be a nail-biter. That first one, from Denver, it's like... it's a bonus pick. The real one, the one that matters, it is the last one I have. That's for all the marbles. Everything's riding on this last key."

[RPF]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "Just five envelopes remain! And now, the second Utah Jazz key. This is it. You came into this with the fourth-best odds. Let's see your fate… and you pick at #5!"

(The Jazz GM Xist face falls. He's crushed. Two top-ten picks, but no Ewing or Mullin.)


Diary Room: GM Xist: (Voice cracking with emotion.) "It's over. Just like that. I had my hopes so high. I was dreaming about what we could do with Patrick or Mullin. We could have been a dynasty. And now after losing Kiki last season… we're just another team."

[RPF]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: (Her voice dripping with dramatic flair.) "And then there were four. One of the greatest franchises in sports history, the Boston Celtics, a team that is a big reason we are here right now, came into this with the best odds. They played the game great up to this point putting themselves in prime position, but in this house, unfortunately the game has twists, turns and shocking moments. Remember when we said expect the unexpected this is what we were referring to……Boston Celtics… we are sorry you have been back doored and you well receive pick #4."

(A gasp from the studio audience. The Celtics’ GM, the legendary AngryBanana, doesn't flinch. He takes a long look at his notes, takes a sip of his drink)



Diary Room: Celtics GM: (Smirking and Pissed) "People think this is a shock. This is not a shock. They hate me and the role I played on ending the last league. It's like the previous commissioner cursed my team before quitting. They want to see me lose. I am really pissed right now. They think this gonna keep me down, they got another thing coming. I'll get a great player at 4 and he will make a great impact on this team."

[AngryBanana]

I can’t believe the Spurs are going to get points for Fryeing me over again.


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[Eazy P]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "Only three houseguests remain! The Houston Rockets, with star Larry Bird, will be picking at #3!"

(The Rockets GM 78 lets out a loud, relieved exhale. He knows he can still get a star.)

[Eazy P]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: "And now, it comes down to this. The final two. The Phoenix Suns and the Philadelphia 76ers. One of you will win the Head of Household. The other will be the first runner-up but before that we will give each GM a chance to state their cases to the Sim Gawds as to why they deserve the top pick of the 1985 Draft. Before they do that we will take a quick break.

[Eazy P]

(SOUND of the Big Brother theme music, fading out)



Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: Welcome back to the Big Brother 1985 NBA Draft season finale! We've made it to the end, and only two houseguests remain: the Phoenix Suns GM DrKavarga, and the Philadelphia 76ers GM Digiskunk. They have played a long and grueling game, but tonight, one of them will be crowned the winner of the 1985 NBA Draft Lottery and walk away with the most coveted prize in the game: the number one overall pick.

(Applause and cheers from the studio audience)

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: But before we get to the final vote, our two finalists must make their case to the people who truly hold their fate in their hands: the Sim Gawds.

(The camera pans to a mysterious, glowing, ethereal-looking basketball court in the sky. The “Sim Gawds” are represented by a shimmering, otherworldly presence.)

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: First up, making his case, the GM of the Phoenix Suns.

(The Suns GM DrKavarga steps forward. He looks confident, but a little weary from the long season.)




PHOENIX SUNS GM DrKavarga: Sim Gawds… fellow GMs… and to the fans… thank you for this opportunity. I stand before you tonight not just as a GM, but as a visionary. Our franchise… Phoenix… it’s a city of rebirth. We have risen from the ashes before, and with the right foundation, we can do it again. Look at our roster. We are a team with potential, a team with heart. But we need a cornerstone. A pillar. A once-in-a-generation talent to build an empire around. We have the perfect environment for this young man to thrive. We’re not a pressure cooker. We’re a forge. We will mold him, protect him, and help him become the best version of himself. We have the space, the cap flexibility, and the long-term vision to make this happen. Giving us this number one pick is not just a gift; it’s an investment in the future of the league. It's an investment in a dynasty that will bring glory to the West for a decade to come. I have played a clean game. I have been loyal to my franchise. I have made the tough trades, the difficult decisions, and the late-night scouting trips. I have done the work. I have earned this. Give us the number one pick, and we will not disappoint you. Thank you.

(The crowd claps politely. The Suns GM DrKavarga steps back, and the 76ers GM Digiskunk, looking slightly more aggressive and determined, steps forward.)

[Eazy P]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: And now, for the final word, the GM of the Philadelphia 76ers.

(The 76ers GM Digiskunk looks directly at the Sim Gawds and GMs.)



PHILADELPHIA 76ERS GM Digiskunk: Sim Gawds. Let me be clear. I have been playing this game from the very beginning. Every trade, every signing, every single move I have made this season has been with one goal in mind: this moment right here. You see, the Suns GM talks about building from the ground up. That's a lovely story. But we… we are already built. We are the Sixers. We are going to be a championship-caliber franchise. We have the city. We have a team that is ready to win now. We don't need to baby-step this player into the league. We need to throw him into the fire, and watch him become a champion. This is not a project, this is about to be winning program. This kid will learn from the best. He will be on the biggest stage, in a city that lives and breathes basketball. He won’t just be a good player; he will be a legend. This isn't about the future; it's about right now. It’s about creating a dynasty that will dominate the East for years. I have been ruthless, yes. I have been strategic, yes. I have not been afraid to make the hard choices. Because that’s what it takes to win. The Suns GM wants to build something nice. I want to build something that lasts forever. The number one pick belongs in Philadelphia, Thank you.

(The crowd roars. The 76ers GM stands tall, arms crossed.)

[Eazy P]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: The time for speeches is over. The Sim Gawds have heard both sides. The power is now in their hands.
(A tension-filled pause. A low hum emanates from the Sim Gawds. The GMs sitting side-by-side, their faces unreadable.)


Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: (Her voice a dramatic whisper) Sim Gawds, your decision… has been made.
(A beam of shimmering, golden light shoots down from the Sim Gawds, illuminating a single, sealed envelope on the podium. Julie walks over and picks it up, her movements slow and deliberate.)

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: The time has come. The winner of the Big Brother 1985 NBA Draft Lottery, and the GM who will receive the number one overall pick is…
(A long, excruciating pause. Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves looks at both GMs, then directly into the camera.)
Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: : …the Philadelphia 76ers!
(The 76ers GM lets out a triumphant roar. He pumps his fists and looks up at the ceiling in relief. The Suns GM nods respectfully, a slight disappointment on his face, and shakes his rival's hand.)

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: Congratulations to the Philadelphia 76ers! You have won the number one pick in the 1985 NBA Draft and with it, the chance to secure the future of your franchise!
(Confetti and streamers rain down. The 76ers GM holds his head high as the camera closes in on his face, a look of pure, unadulterated victory.)






Sixers GM Digiskunk: (Wiping away a tear of happiness.) "I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. This changes everything. We won. We actually won. I'm going to call my mom and tell her. We won the lottery. We're getting Patrick Ewing….. I mean Chris Mullin.


Suns GM DrKavarga: (Voice full of raw emotion, holding back tears.) "I was so close. I could taste it. Number two is great. It's a great pick. But it's not number one. I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life.”

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: (A final, mischievous look to the camera.) "And that's how you play the game. Goodnight, and remember to always expect the unexpected."


(The Big Brother theme music swells as the screen fades to black.)

[Eazy P]

Pre lottery order




Post lottery order

[Eazy P]

On behalf of me and Ed we thank you all for tuning in and hope you enjoyed the show.

[AngryBanana]

0 out of 10 would recommend


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[digiskunk]

Julie “BigDaddy” Chen-Moonves: And now, for the final word, the GM of the Philadelphia 76ers.

(The 76ers GM Digiskunk looks directly at the Sim Gawds and GMs.)



PHILADELPHIA 76ERS GM Digiskunk: Sim Gawds. Let me be clear. I have been playing this game from the very beginning. Every trade, every signing, every single move I have made this season has been with one goal in mind: this moment right here. You see, the Suns GM talks about building from the ground up. That's a lovely story. But we… we are already built. We are the Sixers. We are going to be a championship-caliber franchise. We have the city. We have a team that is ready to win now. We don't need to baby-step this player into the league. We need to throw him into the fire, and watch him become a champion. This is not a project, this is about to be winning program. This kid will learn from the best. He will be on the biggest stage, in a city that lives and breathes basketball. He won’t just be a good player; he will be a legend. This isn't about the future; it's about right now. It’s about creating a dynasty that will dominate the East for years. I have been ruthless, yes. I have been strategic, yes. I have not been afraid to make the hard choices. Because that’s what it takes to win. The Suns GM wants to build something nice. I want to build something that lasts forever. The number one pick belongs in Philadelphia, Thank you.

(The crowd roars. The 76ers GM stands tall, arms crossed.)

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