S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Pump up your team to the media with your Pre-Season Press Conference!
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AngryBanana
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S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

Out comes Angrybanana, in what appears to be a more angry than usual look. He appears to be wearing an all yellow suit, somewhat similar to the man in the yellow suit who Benjamin Kingsley has yet to portray

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Angrybanana sits down behind a table with a singular microphone at the table. There are a few tape recorders up there as well, and he instantly gets confused on where to talk. After a moment of reflection he decides to stand up, flip the table over and kick all of the items that were just in front of him off the raised stage area.

“Im Just Going To Go Ahead And Speak LOUDLY, If It Is All The Same To You”

Angrybanana is not just speaking loudly, but is screaming. He appears to be upset that yet again he is being ignored. That he is again playing second fiddle to others. That he has come up just short of what he felt was rightfully his. He knew that he needs to change things up moving forward. He can no longer care about what others think, and only do what’s best for the Celtics organization.

He understands that he did everything he could, from a GMs perspective last season, to build for the future. He had a multi step plan and he followed it.
- Step one, get Ralph. He did that. He sold off all of his core players from the previous season and a future pick for the rights to Ralph Sampson.
- Step two, get trade worthy assets to build more of a war chest for Ralph and the next draft pick. He was able to successfully sign players of high caliber and was able to flip them as well at d60.
- Step three, train Ralph to be ROY and even get all team. Focus on making Ralph an amazing player that people should look back on and say “boy, how was he not the first pick”. Yeah, I’d say we did that. He earned ROY on an impressive stat line and should have been an all team selection. We also trained several faucets of his game to make him better, with more maybe to come this season.
- step four, while Ralph plays well, we know we have very little talent around him so watch as others unfortunately beat us and earn the top draft pick.
- step five, get at worst a top two pick.


“Can Everyone Hear Me Fine? Well, I Don’t Give A Toot If You Don’t. That’s Your Problem To Figure Out. Here Are What We Want To Highlight From Last Year. These Photos Represent What Went Well For Us. “

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AB ponders What went wrong?

Well, I guess we could have maybe sat Ralph a little more once he locked up ROY to avoid injury. I guess we also could have not been as blind to realize that we shouldn’t have “tried” to play our best even if we are tanking. People laughed at us and judged us for what we’re trying to do. That even went into this season. Where we had the number two pick, and thankfully were not jumped by another team. We then chose Hakeem, who decided that Boston was a perfect place to have a bad training camp. We then saw how everyone ignored us in Free Agency. Where we couldn’t even get older green/green players to sign over asking price. This lead us to some internal reflection where it was decided, no more! We are going to do what we want. We are going to build a winner. We are going to do what we have to do in order to build that winner. It’s our moves and actions that will dictate that, and not others. We’re going to whip Hakeem back into optimum shape and be the player we know he can be. We’re going to reward Ralph since he was one of the few to believe in us. First and foremost by ignoring any offer from the Bucks.


“Look At The Last Set Of Photo I Provided As To See What Is In Store For The Season Ahead.”

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greepleairport
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by greepleairport »

Ralph and Hakeem are both already out there looking like a dream team. Is this front court needing to cook a bit before it's the best in the league, or is it already the best? How does it match up against your division rivals like the Nets and Bullets and Knicks?
Somehow I manage.
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JNR
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by JNR »

GWR: How long have you attended the Ric Flair school of capitalized speaking?

Second question, what adjustments do you plan to make to improve your defense from the preseason?
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AngryBanana
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S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

greepleairport wrote:Ralph and Hakeem are both already out there looking like a dream team. Is this front court needing to cook a bit before it's the best in the league, or is it already the best? How does it match up against your division rivals like the Nets and Bullets and Knicks?
We Are For Sure Truing To Put The “Dream” In Dream Team. I Think The Combo Will Cook, And Are The Best Bigs In The Division, But It Will Take Another Year Or Two Before It Equates To Wins.


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AngryBanana
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

JNR wrote:GWR: How long have you attended the Ric Flair school of capitalized speaking?

Second question, what adjustments do you plan to make to improve your defense from the preseason?
I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About. I’m At The Bar Right Now…

I Plan To Have My Players Start Head Butting Others into Submission


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WigNosy
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by WigNosy »

Steve Duin, the Oregonian...

Your trade for Dennis Johnson in the off-season looked like an attempt to bring veteran savvy to a very callow roster. What effect do you hope DJ is going to have on this squad?
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by Mike Lowry »

On a scale of full throttle to tank city, how competitive do you expect to be this season?
What cha gonna do
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logpmess
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by logpmess »

There have been a lot of rumblings from the Bucks despite your ignoring of their banter. Do you think QuailMan has it out for you? What spurned this disdain? Is there any possibility that you give in to his demands just to relieve the pressures from the other Easter conference GM?
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by Eazy P »

Will Ralph Sampson get trade if Ralph Sampson accepts the SLOE invite?
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AngryBanana
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

WigNosy wrote:Steve Duin, the Oregonian...

Your trade for Dennis Johnson in the off-season looked like an attempt to bring veteran savvy to a very callow roster. What effect do you hope DJ is going to have on this squad?
DJ Was Initially Done To Go With Other Signings We Thought We Would Get On Day 2. That Didn’t Happen, And DJ Is Out The Door As A Result.


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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

Mike Lowry wrote:On a scale of full throttle to tank city, how competitive do you expect to be this season?
Our Team Is Not Good. We Were Rated Poor Talent, And No One Wants To Sign With Us…


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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

logpmess wrote:There have been a lot of rumblings from the Bucks despite your ignoring of their banter. Do you think QuailMan has it out for you? What spurned this disdain? Is there any possibility that you give in to his demands just to relieve the pressures from the other Easter conference GM?
I Think Quail Has Self Loathing Problems. That Is Not My Problem. I Would Have Previously Tried To Help Him. Not The New AB Though. The Only Way I Would Consider It Is If He Gets Ralph To Respond To His PM And Joins SLOE.


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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

Eazy P wrote:Will Ralph Sampson get trade if Ralph Sampson accepts the SLOE invite?
Probably Not, But Let’s See If He Does Join Before We Make Any Decisions


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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by BigDaddyd8720 »

Picks Emmington of the SLOE Gazette,

While you expressed much frustration about not getting the #1 pick, one might say you still came out way ahead with the 2nd pick. Do you think you will look to keep ralph and hakeem together for the long haul or do you see a world where you break up this dynamic duo?
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

BigDaddyd8720 wrote:Picks Emmington of the SLOE Gazette,

While you expressed much frustration about not getting the #1 pick, one might say you still came out way ahead with the 2nd pick. Do you think you will look to keep ralph and hakeem together for the long haul or do you see a world where you break up this dynamic duo?
I Think Ot Depends On Two Things:
1. Where I Land In The Next Draft And Who I Get
2. Quail Selling His Soul For Ralph


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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by IamQuailman »

Does the presence of a real big man like Hakeem make Ralph feel inadequate? He won't be able to inflate his numbers anymore now that he actually has a teammate worth a damn.
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by RPF »

How do you think the combo of the twin towers will actually work? Is Ralph ready to share basketball with another skilled big man?
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AngryBanana
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

IamQuailman wrote:Does the presence of a real big man like Hakeem make Ralph feel inadequate? He won't be able to inflate his numbers anymore now that he actually has a teammate worth a damn.
No. Ralph And Hakeem Are Best Of Friends. They Actually Both Got A Tattoo Together Recently.

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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by jlmarines »

Justin Bieber, WWE.com; Congratulations on drafting Hakeem Olajuwon. In wrestling terms, who would you compare Hakeem skills to a WWE wrestler? Are you scare of the Cavs?
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

jlmarines wrote:Justin Bieber, WWE.com; Congratulations on drafting Hakeem Olajuwon. In wrestling terms, who would you compare Hakeem skills to a WWE wrestler? Are you scare of the Cavs?
I’d Compare Him To WCW Star Dennis Rodman


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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by greepleairport »

Capitalizing Every Word Is A New Thing. What's Up With That?
Somehow I manage.
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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by AngryBanana »

greepleairport wrote:Capitalizing Every Word Is A New Thing. What's Up With That?
Since This Is An Oral Press Conference, I Am Not Sure What You Are Talking About.


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Re: S5 1985 Celtics Press Conference

Post by greepleairport »

AngryBanana wrote: Mon Aug 04, 2025 2:56 pm
greepleairport wrote:Capitalizing Every Word Is A New Thing. What's Up With That?
Since This Is An Oral Press Conference, I Am Not Sure What You Are Talking About.


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