If I Only Knew: A PBSL Parable

[greepleairport]

If I only knew the rules of RFA better than I did after personally running RFA, I would have known that cutting the salary I had just collected prior to signing my RFA Naji Marshall would eliminate my MLE. This was a very stupid mistake, but for all the stupid things I have done in PBSL, this ended up not being the worst of them.

One of the worst was handing LTS the keys to the Mavs and letting him drive drunk all over the league.

Not that I’m not happy to have LTS GM a PBSL team - I am very happy he is in PBSL. In fact, it is a huge joy to know someone cares about this silly thing as much as I do, in as intricately detailed ways as I do. While I know that he thinks he knows everything about PBSL better than me (and all other GMs who place value on players over the age of 25), I did not waste my MLE signing Raphael Cottrill. I lost my MLE on some dumb shit, granted, but I still scored an MLE target with a vet min offer.

The Mavs may be one of the best teams in PBSL today, yet they have continued to make some of the worst mistakes. One: Pissing off everyone with horrible trade offers so that almost no one will trade with them besides his feeder team and the one-off not feeder teams (shout out logpmess for working with my boy). Two: Using MLE to sign a player whose trajectory had permanently turned for the worst.

On November 27th, 2060, Raphael Cottrill broke his leg. His potential was high, as blue as the sky, but now it had dropped as green as the grass on which he could barely stand. Nary a prospect any longer, Raphael had his career completely squandered.

“You’re a bum, Raph!” his heavily accented coach jeered.

But in Dallas, LTS saw numbers to his liking (based on an unfairly small sample size of data for the 2060 season) and dropped an MLE haul on him. Why? You would have to ask him. His incumbent team obviously didn’t think he was worth the MLE, so why did LTS?

Because he’s only 23 years old? Because he might get a boost in TC? Because he plans to train him up to (be almost) purple?

We may never know.

But if I only knew that when I referred LTS to PBSL, that he would build a baller team from scratch, then trade one of his key rotational players (PF Trent Dawes) for ANOTHER wing (Alex Fudge) that isn’t as good as his two other extremely good but similar wings (Dominitrix Johnson and Angel Reese), after wasting his MLE on…a bad, undersized wing? I would have sobered him up a little bit before allowing him to drive his Mavs clown car off a cliff of mediocrity.

If I only knew that the value of grabbing MLE and pissing all over it was the key to success, I could be a better GM. I would be LTS.

…Or, if I only knew that I could STILL trade a guy like Dawes away and sign a guy like, I don’t know, old friend of the Mavs Jonathan Kuminga for pennies on the tens of millions of dollars, maybe I could have kept a solid rotation of players on the court without completely sacrificing my positional game by having 3 of the same style players on the court at the same time…

I know, though, now. I know I wouldn’t be LTS. But god bless LTS and all the things he does as a GM in PBSL.

[AngryBanana]

614 word +3