Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Pump up your team to the media with your Pre-Season Press Conference!
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garbageman
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Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by garbageman »

Hello and welcome to the Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser. We had high hopes last season and were not able to win our second championship in a row, and with the roster still improving, there's no end in sight to those rings coming. The biggest thing we did last year was manage to get Pee Wee Kirkland for Stan Van Gundy Jalen Hood-Schifino for Alex Fudge because nothing else matters in this league other than the color purple.

Aside from a tough series with the Suns season ending injury to our best player, we had an easy time in the playoffs in the first round last season, but we knew the Suns were going to tool up, and we were surprised that the Lakers tooled up as well. We had to follow suit and get better reset our tax. That means we sent Trent Dawes, Mac McClung who is not purple but he should be, to the Orlando Magic for Kel'el Ware who was purple, but unfortunately isn't anymore Los Angeles Lakers, who wear purple. This is bad news because we gave up our 2061 1st in that deal, so if we're not good, the Magic could be walking away with the 25th pick in the draft instead of the 26th pick, and we'll feel like we really dropped the ball there just the way the business works.

That Booger Smith was our only real TC casualty because I have no idea who the Frye is on our bench. It doesn't matter. Hoyt, Peewee, and Lauri Naji, Nemesio, and Dyson kept their purple currents blue potentials. Bernardo Carrasco Booger Smith didn't get to purple, but he improved in some areas. Hopefully, he will get to purple next year before it's too late.

Bet you didn't know we have a guy who's 7'7 6'4.

Anyway, our goal is to have the best regular season record ever this season and somehow pay our tax bill so we can keep competing wait until Nate gets fed up and deletes the league. The tax bill will be pretty steep, and I don't know how we're going to come up with that many points. It might be impossible within one season, so I might have to get cheaper somehow, but I'm not sure if there's someone dumb enough to trade with me to get me out of that bind.

Dont Eexpect to see another banner hung in the rafters of the United Center for us Bulls. I think we covered about everything about our team, so if you want to ask any questions about any other teams, feel free.
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MexicanMamba
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by MexicanMamba »

How has it felt to see your Pistons organization build a powerhouse simply by taking over the reputation of the last powerhouse and never having to work for it?

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Black Superman
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by Black Superman »

Desert here,
This is the absolute best presser I've ever read. No further questions your honor
This is your captain speaking
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Mike Lowry
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by Mike Lowry »

How sure are you that Detroit 3 peats?
I think they're in trouble.
I predict an injury breaks them down and we see a changed guard.
Does depth really have that little significance in this league?
What cha gonna do
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by RPF »

The Net is Brooklyn: As a former commissioner, how would you define the state of the league right now with the Super Pistons in place for another run?

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garbageman
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by garbageman »

Mike Lowry wrote: Sun Aug 11, 2024 5:36 pm How sure are you that Detroit 3 peats?
I think they're in trouble.
I predict an injury breaks them down and we see a changed guard.
Does depth really have that little significance in this league?
Nothing's 100% sure. But in order of where my money's at:

1. Pistons win
2. The league shuts down before anyone wins
3. A team that isn't the Pistons wins

I'm not saying 3 CAN'T happen, but the Pistons really only had Jason Marotta in terms of depth the last two seasons, and with improvements in TC and the Dawes->Ware improvement, I don't think the lack of depth will hurt the Pistons unless someone gets hurt. Of course, there are guys out there like Bud Rivera available. Don't remember what team he's on, but his contract is friendly
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garbageman
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by garbageman »

MexicanMamba wrote: Sun Aug 11, 2024 2:57 pm How has it felt to see your Pistons organization build a powerhouse simply by taking over the reputation of the last powerhouse and never having to work for it? Image

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In all honesty, I'm glad Doug came back after reconsidering retirement. But now that you mention it, it's like he copied the previous powerhouse's assets without having to paste the tax bill.
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garbageman
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by garbageman »

RPF wrote: Sun Aug 11, 2024 6:25 pm The Net is Brooklyn: As a former commissioner, how would you define the state of the league right now with the Super Pistons in place for another run?

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I think a lot of GMs are on hold. Which, everyone needs to reset and take a step back sometimes, but it is less exciting when 2/3rds of the league is doing that, including a good several teams that are going to make the playoffs. I don't think anyone has any responsibility to not make the best moves for their team for the good of the league, though, so it's just something people are going to have to be patient for and adjust to.
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greepleairport
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by greepleairport »

As the Bulls start re-tooling everything, how soon do you start competing, presuming the league stays alive? Who stays, who goes?
Somehow I manage.
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by pennpanther1 »

How would you rank the draft picks you own from other teams?
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by garbageman »

greepleairport wrote: Mon Aug 12, 2024 7:23 am As the Bulls start re-tooling everything, how soon do you start competing, presuming the league stays alive? Who stays, who goes?
It really depends on what the market is like. I was already sending feelers out to try and get some complementary talent around Booger Smith, but TC slashed the player I was targeting. Looking at the rest of the league, the trade market doesn't seem like it'll provide a lot of options to retool this season to the point where I'm ready to jump back in the mix next season, but with a bevy of draft capital that could pan out nicely in the next two seasons, I think I'm poised to compete again whenever the time seems right.

That's going to depend more on the trade market than dynasties. Say what you will about the Pistons. There's always going to be a Goliath out there, even after they re-tool.
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by garbageman »

pennpanther1 wrote: Mon Aug 12, 2024 10:02 am How would you rank the draft picks you own from other teams?
Very inaccurately. At this point it's just guessork.

I think the Magic 2061 1st has solid potential because they slept on free agency. I have control over my own 2061 1st, so that can be good as long as I don't cash it in. I think the Raptors will eventually have to cash out, probably after this season based on how they doubled down in UFA, but 2062 is a long way away. I think the Cavs will continue to have Jonathan Isaac and Devin Vassell and pretty much stay the course posting WWE memes about the Celtics, so I don't see their 2062 pick being lotto. My 2062 pick could go either way, and my 2063 pick is the one I'm most confident will be worthless.

Thanks for the thoughtful question!
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by AngryBanana »

Which presser did you have a harder time writing, the bulls or the pistons?
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Re: Bulls S71 Pistons Preseason Presser

Post by garbageman »

AngryBanana wrote: Mon Aug 12, 2024 4:59 pm Which presser did you have a harder time writing, the bulls or the pistons?
The Pistons one. I didn't want to be too snarky with it, and wanted to play it mostly straight as the Pistons. Since they're the only team that really matters this season, what fun is it to write about the Bulls in townvhall and then again here. Nobody wants to hear about Eric Hubert and Nemesio Oseguera Cervantes. There were several times in the original presser where I reined myself in because the idea of writing a presser for another team was spicy enough as it was. And since Doug "Shortcut" Tassin just copy pasted my presser, I regret holding anything back.
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