Warriors S67 Press Conference

[greepleairport]

Listen, there’s no front for this presser. We’re straight booty this season, and we’re proud of it. We have so much incredible middling talent and we’re looking to move all of it, while we Frye ya motha.

Our training camp was basically dumb af. Kamari Brown stayed blue blue (yawn), Kevin Cross stayed green blue (yawn), our best offseason acquisition Dwain Ramos stayed green blue (yawn), and everyone else who we don’t give a Frye about anyway got a little bit better.

But listen, we have a green potential talent in Mark Shinn that hasn’t played a single second of basketball yet, and you want this <expletive deleted>, trust me. Look at all that incredible potential, and he hasn’t lost any of it yet. Probably should have. Didn’t. Ask ya motha.

Albert Morrow and Harold Carter are probably the best green green <expletive deleted> in the league. Both have <expletive deleted> ya motha (confirmed), and both will do it again, tag team style. Come get both. They want to be taken the same way they take ya motha. <expletive deleted>.

Seriously though, the only players worth a damn on this Warriors team took a Fryeing nap during training camp. I had a whole ass plan on how to train these <expletive deleted> with points but I’m not even going to Fryeing do that. I’m going to let their regular asses stay regular, and I don’t give a Frye if they die next TC. I hope they do, actually. Then I can maybe get a draft pick like Herman Campbell or Angel Reese and actually have a reason to Fryeing live again.

A reason besides Fryeing ya motha. She just called by the way, so this whole press conference thing cannot last much longer (certainly not any longer than I last inside ya motha).

I don’t think I’m going to spend any more time managing these <expletive deleted> this season than they spend Fryeing ya motha, because why should I? They have their priorities, and I have mine. I don’t think they’ll align in S67, so who gives a Frye.

Which one of you <expletive deleted> has any questions, and why are you asking me any questions when you could be <expletive deleted> somebody’s motha

[garbageman]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: There's no mention of Harold Schiff...was that intentional? What was the thought process behind that free agency pickup?

[greepleairport]

I didn’t mention Harold Schiff because I was too busy Fryeing ya motha, but I wasn’t too busy to mention Harold Schiff on my trade block, so any of you <expletive deleted> trying to get you some <expletive deleted> Harold Schiff, come holla atcha boy who’s actively Fryeing ya motha


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[MexicanMamba]

Who is the fryeing dumbest player between Kamari Brown and Kevin Cross? And which one has fryed the most mothers? And will that number match their points per game this coming season?

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[LazyTitanSmash]

Is Joe Lacob ok with you giving your press conferences while your drunk? Also, how does he feel about you hating your own players? Is anyone on the team this year going to make it to next year?

[greepleairport]

Who is the fryeing dumbest player between Kamari Brown and Kevin Cross? And which one has fryed the most mothers? And will that number match their points per game this coming season?

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Kevin Cross is definitely the dumbest <expletive deleted>. <expletive deleted> didn't even show up for training camp. He didn't use to be a huge piece of shit, but he is a huge piece of shit and doesn't give a rats ass that Meredith's baby knows it.

Thus, Kamari's mom Fryeing game has been way more on point. Last New Year's Eve, he <expletive deleted> at least 11 mothers, but those numbers are unofficial.

I hope kamari scores more than 11 points per game this season. At least Kamari played games during preseason while recommended shuffled KC to the back of the rotation. Ouch.

[greepleairport]

Is Joe Lacob ok with you giving your press conferences while your drunk? Also, how does he feel about you hating your own players? Is anyone on the team this year going to make it to next year?

Do you think I give a rat's ass that Joe Lacob knows that I used to be a huge piece of shit? I live for New Year's Eve, and as far as I was concerned, this past offseason was one long dangerous night.

I don't hate my players. I expect more from my players, constantly. They should have <expletive deleted> way more mothers this offseason.

Anyone can stay. Anyone can leave. It's up to the other GMs of this league what happens with the Golden State Warriors.

People can change. I'm ready to hold the baby now.

[greepleairport]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: There's no mention of Harold Schiff...was that intentional? What was the thought process behind that free agency pickup?

On second (and more sober) thought, I was honestly trying to sign the best players I thought I could sign and win more games this year. But he will be an excellent trade piece, too, since my next best non rookie contract player is … god, Owen Blakeslee??


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[K-100]

Why you offer Harold Carter more than a vet min?

<expletive deleted> aint got no loyalty anymore

[greepleairport]

Why you offer Harold Carter more than a vet min?

<expletive deleted> aint got no loyalty anymore

Harold Carter provides unexpected offense off the bench. A INS and A 3PS, that's the kind of guy we want in a GSW uniform.

We actually meant for that 2nd year to be a TO. Whoops. Not like we'll be contending this year or next anyway.

[Black Superman]

After winning your 2nd of a back to back just 3 seasons ago. And losing game 7 in the finals just 2 seasons ago. How long do you anticipate your rebuild taking?

[greepleairport]

Has it been that long already? Dang...

It's going to take a while. I like the players I've been picking up, but I don't have a centerpiece to carry the team yet. Once I have that star player, that Fabian Hub or Delmar Lopez or Alphonse Morelock, I'll better be able to answer this question. I'm hoping Cross or Brown has a huge TC coming up, but I'm not banking on one of those two being "the guy."

[Mike Lowry]

When you mention the great centerpieces you have worked with in your past runs, what kind of mother-fryers do you covet now?
You into the big boys? Or the smooth talking swag drippers?
Who are the guys that keep you hard while you're fryeing mothers?

[greepleairport]

When you mention the great centerpieces you have worked with in your past runs, what kind of mother-fryers do you covet now?
You into the big boys? Or the smooth talking swag drippers?
Who are the guys that keep you hard while you're fryeing mothers?

What great questions!!

I need a big 3. The positions don't matter so much so long as they don't overlap. One big guy, one medium guy, one small guy, but all must be dope. Ya know, they gotta Frye a lot of mothers. Ball out, Frye moms, sleep, repeat. That's probably why things didn't work out with Fabian and I in the end...

My favorite players out there right now are Ron Harper Jr and Sion James. I don't know for sure, but i've heard they be out there <expletive deleted>' their way to greatness, feel me? I've always been a fan of Anas too. Super tall guys who are good are super cool.

If my ex-Hubsband is any indication, my favorite player is a two-way gigantic athletic freak in ya mutha's sheets