Bulls S67 Manic Depress Conference

[garbageman]

HI, HELLO...IT IS ME THE BULLS.

I AM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS SEASON PERHAPS MORE EXCITED ABOUT THIS SEASON THAT I WILL BE AT ANY POINT IN THE FUTURE OF THIS SEASON.

SURE ON PAPER IT LOOKS LIKE THE BULLS HAVE A TEAM SO STRONG IT CAN LIFT A DUMP TRUCK, BUT THAT'S YET TO BE SEEN ON THE COURT. I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE MOST EXPENSIVE TEAM IN THE LEAGUE THIS YEAR. I WAS THINKING OF MAYBE EVEN STAYING UNDER THE CAP ONE MORE TIME. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? I TOOK A RISK IN UFA AND SENT OUT SOME MAXES TO SUPERMAX GUYS. I DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET ANY OF THEM SO I SENT REASONABLE DEALS TO PLAYERS TO HALF=COMPETE FOR A YEAR BEFORE I COULD OPEN UP THE CHECKBOOK AGAIN...OR CHEQUEBOOK AS THEY SAY IN ENGLAND. THEN I SENT A STRONG BUT NOT UNREASONABLE OFFER TO KEN DIRKS TO HOPEFULLY SIGN AND TRADE HIM. WHAT HAPPENED WAS A LITTLE BIT FROM COLUMN A AND A LITTLE BIT FROM COLUMN B AND A LITTLE BIT FROM COLUMN C.

FIRST, REMY MARTIN SIGNED WITH US. I FELT BAD FOR THE WIZARDS, BUT IT FELT GREAT THAT OUR REPUTATION SWAYED A BIG STAR AWAY FROM A BIGGER CONTRACT FOR WHAT STILL IS A BIG CONTRACT. IT'S A LOT OF DANG MONEY. ON TOP OF THAT, CHARLES ALLEMAN SIGNED NEXT. THIS WAS GREAT BECAUSE NOW THE BULLS HAD MAC MCCLUNG AND REMY MARTIN AND CHARLES ALLEMAN BUT ONLY A LITTLE LEFT IN CAP SPACE AND KEN DIRKS WAS STILL OUT THERE, AND THEN WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, KEN DIRKS SIGNED WITH US.

WE ALSO HAD SVI AND CHRIS JACKSON BACK, AND OH, I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN UNHAPPY FOR YEARS WITH HIS ROLE ON THE TEAM, HE RESIGNED WITH US FOR A PRETTY TEAM FRIENDLY DEAL. SO THERE I WAS, LOOKING AT THIS KING'S BOUNTY WE GOT IN UFA DAY 1, AND THINKING:

HUH BULLS...MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T TRADE KEN DIRKS. MAYBE YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO GO TOE TO TOE WITH A RESTOCKED ROCKETS, A DEEPER LAKERS, AN EVOLVED SPURS, THE SAME OLD SHITTY JAZZ. MAYBE INSTEAD, YOU SHOULD CREATE THE MOST EXPENSIVE TEAM IN PBSL HISTORY. $414 MILLION. SO WE GIVE TONI GAUSS THE WORLD'S BEST RETIREMENT PACKAGE AND SEND HIM AND TONY LEE TO NEW ORLEANS AND BRING IN ANTONIO BLAKENEY.

HELL YEAH.

I'VE WANTED THIS GUY FOR A LONG TIME. SURE HE'S EXPIRING, AND SURE HE'S MAKING WAY MORE MONEY THAN EVERYONE IN THE LEAGUE EXCEPT FOR MARCUS FREAKING RIDENHOUR. SURE HE'S TOO OLD TO KEEP THAT PURPLE POTENTIAL. $414 MILLION. BUT I NAMED HIM. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE WHEN HE WAS DRAFTED AND THEN THE RUG GOT PULLED FROM UNDER MY FEET. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE, DAMMIT, AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I WASN'T GONNA GET HIM.

$414 MILLION AND WE WALK RIGHT INTO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE THAT IS TRAINING CAMP. MCCLUNG CAME OUT LOOKING GODLIKE, BUT DIRKS GOT DINGED. BLAKENEY LOST ABOUT A HALF A FOOT ON HIS VERTICAL. OUR BENCH LOOKS LIKE THEY SPENT ALL OFFSEASON SITTING ON A BENCH.

$414 MILLION AND WE LOSE BY 50 TO THE FRIGGIN PISTONS?

I SHOULD'VE TRADED KEN DIRKS. I WAS ONLY 15 MILLION OVER THE APRON BEFORE THE BLAKENEY TRADE. MAYBE IT'S NOT TOO LATE.

CHRIST...$414 MILLION...I'M RUINED! $414 MILLION FOR A 3-3 PRESEASON. I'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!

OH GOD, I ALMOST FORGOT I AM COMMISSIONER AGAIN. GOD DAMMIT!

Anyway, ask any questions you want. I'm more than happy to answer them and love to discuss my team and PBSL!

[LazyTitanSmash]

Do you think you will try to do what the hawks did last year? or are you committed?

[greepleairport]

After a god-like transformation for Mac McClung in TC - some might say a $414 million's worth transformation - why did Mac play like a huge piece of shit in the preseason? Does he give a rat's ass that Meredith's baby knows he used to be a huge piece of shit?

[MexicanMamba]

With an abundance of really good big men, but perhaps a need for more depth on the perimeter, could you see you exploring a deal to move a big out for that kind of wing help?

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[K-100]

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO SPEND $414 MILLION ON A ROSTER? I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

[garbageman]

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO SPEND $414 MILLION ON A ROSTER? I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

[garbageman]

Do you think you will try to do what the hawks did last year? or are you committed?

No, I can already afford my bill and have a decent bank left. I might make some moves for fit if they're available, but unless I get some offers that really make me think, I don't see a path that makes shedding salary make sense.

[garbageman]

After a god-like transformation for Mac McClung in TC - some might say a $414 million's worth transformation - why did Mac play like a huge piece of shit in the preseason? Does he give a rat's ass that Meredith's baby knows he used to be a huge piece of shit?

I don't think I'd trade McClung for all three of your blue potential rookie contract guys.

[garbageman]

With an abundance of really good big men, but perhaps a need for more depth on the perimeter, could you see you exploring a deal to move a big out for that kind of wing help?

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I only really have 4 bigs, but I'll explore any offers that make some kind of sense for me.

[78#]

Former Rockets Hall of Famer Al Horford made an estimated $400 million during his playing career. Your salary is $414 million. How sweet is it knowing you can spend this amount of cash in one year and not lose sleep over it?

[AngryBanana]

Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: Did you get any inspiration for this article from Gary? Do you plan to key up Blakeney now that you have him?

[garbageman]

Former Rockets Hall of Famer Al Horford made an estimated $400 million during his playing career. Your salary is $414 million. How sweet is it knowing you can spend this amount of cash in one year and not lose sleep over it?

[garbageman]

Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: Did you get any inspiration for this article from Gary?

Do you plan to key up Blakeney now that you have him?

Yeah, it'll be a tough call because all five of our starters can score efficiently in different ways. There's only one ball, so it's going to take a little bit of work to figure out who's best to key up in what situations and who's best to play where. There's always a growing period when you have so many talented new guys coming together, but I'm confident we can get them to jell soon, but Blakeney is a phenomenal offensive presence who can score from anywhere, so we're definitely going to get him a lot of shots.

[Eazy P]

How does it feel to be back in the Commish seat? Did you miss it? Was it to keep the league going?

[garbageman]

How does it feel to be back in the Commish seat? Did you miss it? Was it to keep the league going?

I didn't miss it. It's purely to keep things going. If anyone out there with the knowledge of the game, the ability to get things done on time, and enough respect from the league that folks won't try and overthrow you wants to try their hand at commissioning, I'd be more than happy to just be a regular GM.

[Xist2Inspire]

Random Reporter: What kind of results are you looking for on Day 60/before the ASG to consider sticking with this roster and not making major moves to reduce salary?

[garbageman]

Random Reporter: What kind of results are you looking for on Day 60/before the ASG to consider sticking with this roster and not making major moves to reduce salary?

Ultimately, I want to be contending for the #1 seed in the conference with a double digit point differential. The first 8 games were encouraging.