S66 Bulls Preseason Presser

garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Sat Sep 30, 2023 12:57 am

The lights are off in the room as a video package is projected on a wall behind the podium. In big bold letters...

LAST SEASON ON BULLS BASKETBALL

Scenes play from early in the season focusing on things like Mac McClung's progression, Ken Dirks' leadership, and Ayo Dosunmu's rise to scoring dominance. There's some cool video editing where one of them passes the ball off the screen and it's edited to a scene from a different highlight where another star catches it. Pretty sick.

Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk swats a shot into the seats.

Khalifa Diop fouls someone...expertly.

We see different shots of the United Center scoreboard denoting scores from their 24 game home winning streak. We see different shots of different crowds with each one.

Then the music gets all sad and piano-y as slow motion footage rolls of Ayo Dosunmu, down on the ground with a broken leg, medical staff around him.

Next is a montage of the Bulls banding together to secure the division. There's a lot of focus on Charles Jarrett since he was a big part of that but not too much because he's no longer with the team. He won't be in much of the playoff footage.

Wins against the Raptors, Pacers, Bucks, and finally the Warriors, culminating with footage of Mac McClung holding the Finals MVP trophy, Ayo holding the Wiggy O'Brien Championship trophy, and the team in Championship snapbacks celebrating their game seven victory in Golden State.

Fade to black.

INT - PRESS ROOM - PRESENT DAY

The darkness of the room is broken by a large, white-hot spotlight pointed at the stage side entrance. The murmurs of the press die down and after a few seconds of relative silence...

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Bulls owner Roman Roy, clad in some expensive suit, bursts through the entrance, but instead of heading directly to the podium, the spotlight follows him around as he punches in time to Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger"

PUNCH

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH

PUNCH PUNCH PUUUUUUUUUNCH

As the verse hits, he does some kind of jumping kick slightly out of time with the downbeat. After he recovers, he starts clapping to the beat. As nobody else joins in, he starts clapping a little more aggressively, making eye contact and head movements towards a few different members of the press corps in attendance.

There are a few uncomfortable claps that join in, but for the most part, it doesn't catch on, so Roman pumps his fist a couple more times and heads towards the podium where he gestures to cut the music.

"Alright, alright. Enough of that."

The song stops before it's complete, the lights flip on, and a banner that says "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" unfurls on the wall behind Roman.

"Well that wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be." Roman kisses the championship ring on his finger. "Maybe I just have a knack for winning. Only took me two seasons, but god damn, I did it."

The Bulls owner clears his throat.

"So what's next for me? I don't know. I'm kind of bored with the whole basketball thing, so I'm going to let the GM deal with all the sports stuff, and focus more on celebrating this impressive achievement. I'm going to get to it, then. Garbageman should be here to answer your questions soon. Peace! I'm out!"

NEXT SEASON ON BULLS BASKETBALL

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MexicanMamba · Post by **MexicanMamba** » Sat Sep 30, 2023 1:03 pm

It's been reported that David Brown was seen sulking throughout the playoffs, as well as distant from his teammates during the off-season and camp. What's the cause of his disconnect? Do you believe it's a relationship that can be mended?

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garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Sat Sep 30, 2023 3:23 pm

MexicanMamba wrote: Sat Sep 30, 2023 1:03 pm It's been reported that David Brown was seen sulking throughout the playoffs, as well as distant from his teammates during the off-season and camp. What's the cause of his disconnect? Do you believe it's a relationship that can be mended?

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We're aware of David Brown's grievances, and we even understand them. He wants more playing time. He's a tremendously skilled player, and on many teams, he'd be in the starting lineup. We put him there in preseason, and he handled himself pretty well. PBSL 2K55 has his overall rating higher than everyone on the team except Dirks, Ayo, and Mac.

But you don't win titles based on paying attention to the overall ratings on video games. Svi Mykhailiuk brought exactly what we needed from that center position, and he played a crucial role in bringing home a championship.

AngryBanana · Post by **AngryBanana** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 12:20 pm

Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: do you plan to use Diop in an enforcer role this season again? Also, is Gary a top 10 GM all time?

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garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 12:39 pm

AngryBanana wrote: Sun Oct 01, 2023 12:20 pm Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: do you plan to use Diop in an enforcer role this season again? Also, is Gary a top 10 GM all time?

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That's the plan for Diop. We want to give him minutes because he's an efficient scorer, a solid rebounder, and a guy who provides a burst of energy off the bench.

...and as for Gary, no. He's a hell of a guy, but to have a shot at being a top anything GM in this league, you need to be consistent and participate in all phases of the game as a start.

jlmarines · Post by **jlmarines** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 5:12 pm

Justin Bieber, The Wall Street Journal: Congrats Champ. Is there a team that you are concern and who could challenge you for another ring?

garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 5:43 pm

jlmarines wrote: Sun Oct 01, 2023 5:12 pm Justin Bieber, The Wall Street Journal: Congrats Champ. Is there a team that you are concern and who could challenge you for another ring?

Thank you, Justin. I am not really as concerned with getting another ring this season as I am with setting the Bulls up for long term success around Mac McClung. There are several other teams who have either already made moves to surpass us in the title conversation and also teams that are in a better position to trade their way into contention this season.

The Lakers look nearly unrivaled in the Alpha Conference, and there are four viable contenders in the Buddy Pedraza division alone. I'm not sure how high our team's ceiling is this season, but as great as it would be to win 10 championships, we might be waiting a lot longer for double digits if we prioritize this season at the expense of our future.

RPF · Post by **RPF** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 7:14 pm

Do you think this team didn't take training camp serious for this up coming season coming off the success of last season?

garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 7:19 pm

RPF wrote: Sun Oct 01, 2023 7:14 pm Do you think this team didn't take training camp serious for this up coming season coming off the success of last season?

Not even I took training camp seriously. I went recommended.

Eazy P · Post by **Eazy P** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 9:31 pm

Do you see this current team making it to the finals when it's all said and done. Will there need to be moves made 1st?

garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Sun Oct 01, 2023 9:46 pm

Eazy P wrote: Sun Oct 01, 2023 9:31 pm Do you see this current team making it to the finals when it's all said and done. Will there need to be moves made 1st?

I guess anything's possible, but we're not looking that far ahead. This isn't a championship or bust season, and while we won't rule anything out, we're more interested in making moves to set us up for the future than to go all in again.

LazyTitanSmash · Post by **LazyTitanSmash** » Mon Oct 02, 2023 3:53 am

Do you think Jaylen Forbes is ready for a starting role?

Also, the Pacer's owner has been has been tweeting that this is the year they take the division? He says, the Pacers have the size, the experience and the two time MVP while the Bulls rested on their morals during training camp. Do you have any comment on that?

garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Mon Oct 02, 2023 9:47 am

LazyTitanSmash wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 3:53 am Do you think Jaylen Forbes is ready for a starting role?

The SF position was mostly up for grabs before training camp with Emoni Bates being the favorite, but now it's up in the air. I don't think Forbes is ready for it, and while Greaves handled the starting spot alright in preseason, we're looking to run a specific scheme and going to have to get creative.

LazyTitanSmash wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 3:53 am Also, the Pacer's owner has been has been tweeting that this is the year they take the division? He says, the Pacers have the size, the experience and the two time MVP while the Bulls rested on their morals during training camp. Do you have any comment on that?

Not really.

digiskunk · Post by **digiskunk** » Mon Oct 02, 2023 11:06 am

Lester Licker, ABC Sports: Aside from having one of the best names in the league, Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk has proven himself to be a bonafide, central part of this team. Unfortunately, his recent setback (arrested for DUI) may play a huge role in the near future. Do you think this will create strife in the clubhouse or affect his performance on the court? Will he be punished with less playing time?

garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Mon Oct 02, 2023 1:19 pm

digiskunk wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 11:06 am Lester Licker, ABC Sports: Aside from having one of the best names in the league, Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk has proven himself to be a bonafide, central part of this team. Unfortunately, his recent setback (arrested for DUI) may play a huge role in the near future. Do you think this will create strife in the clubhouse or affect his performance on the court? Will he be punished with less playing time?

According to his bio page, Svi is from Canada, where drunk driving is not only legal, but encouraged and Sviatoslav is a common name. Because of this, and the immense financial resources we have from our ownership and profitability, we believe there will be no ramifications.

digiskunk · Post by **digiskunk** » Mon Oct 02, 2023 1:49 pm

garbageman wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 1:19 pm
digiskunk wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 11:06 am Lester Licker, ABC Sports: Aside from having one of the best names in the league, Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk has proven himself to be a bonafide, central part of this team. Unfortunately, his recent setback (arrested for DUI) may play a huge role in the near future. Do you think this will create strife in the clubhouse or affect his performance on the court? Will he be punished with less playing time?
According to his bio page, Svi is from Canada, where drunk driving is not only legal, but encouraged and Sviatoslav is a common name. Because of this, and the immense financial resources we have from our ownership and profitability, we believe there will be no ramifications.

Lester Licker, ABC Sports: Follow up question! Do you think Sviatoslav has the testicular fortitude to fulfill his dream of wrestling the Undertaker in a dark alley at midnight?

Darth Vegito · Post by **Darth Vegito** » Mon Oct 02, 2023 1:57 pm

Congrats on the championship! Well deserved and fought for.

Do you see a scenario where the cards play out mid-season and you are in a position to possibly take hold of the conference, whether that's the Lakers new team struggling with cohesion or injuries having their way...you make a detour to your plan, and cash in again and swing for the fences??

garbageman · Post by **garbageman** » Mon Oct 02, 2023 2:02 pm

digiskunk wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 1:49 pm
garbageman wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 1:19 pm
digiskunk wrote: Mon Oct 02, 2023 11:06 am Lester Licker, ABC Sports: Aside from having one of the best names in the league, Sviatoslav Mykhailiuk has proven himself to be a bonafide, central part of this team. Unfortunately, his recent setback (arrested for DUI) may play a huge role in the near future. Do you think this will create strife in the clubhouse or affect his performance on the court? Will he be punished with less playing time?
According to his bio page, Svi is from Canada, where drunk driving is not only legal, but encouraged and Sviatoslav is a common name. Because of this, and the immense financial resources we have from our ownership and profitability, we believe there will be no ramifications.
Lester Licker, ABC Sports: Follow up question! Do you think Sviatoslav has the testicular fortitude to fulfill his dream of wrestling the Undertaker in a dark alley at midnight?

It's 2055. The Undertaker is 90. Or dead. I don't know because we didn't buy Grey Dog's Wrestling simulator.

#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League