Xist's Crystal Ball
Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:44 pm
Welcome, dear soul, to the Wizard's lair. No you're not in Winston Kelly's basement, you're in my realm, a mystical place where my weird lineups all work, Lamar Odom didn't die in TC, and we didn't draft ******* Jamal Crawford and Julio De La Rosa. I assume you've come for advice? You want to know what the future will hold? Well I'm not that good, so you'll have to settle for guesses and maybes.
You're not alone, you know. Others have come from far and wide seeking wisdom. That's probably why they walked right by here and to the other shop on the right. Whoa, hey, but don't leave, dear stranger! Those lucky few who have had the presence of mind to come and sit have left satisfied, filled, confident in the direction of their franchises. Oh wait, you're just a fan? Well...okay then. Wait, I bet I know what's coming next. You're from California...but you could never decide which team to support. You wonder if the Lakers did enough this offseason to earn your support... Personally, I think they did. I wouldn't have done any different, other than being just a little bit more active, that is. It's been a pretty great offseason for the Lakers in terms of acquisitions, and real life > sim life, always. It's just that it's easier to sniff out potential deals when you're active... you're also wondering whether any new players to cheer for will come...They will, and they should. The minute a wing player that isn't cutting it or is more than really needed is found, LA should look for another big ASAP, preferably a PF. Todd and Burnham are solid, and the guys they already have at PF are good enough, but they're going to need more come playoff time. Heck, they don't even have to go after another JJJ-caliber guy, just picking up a proven vet who consistently produces will be fine...The Lakers just really need another post presence to balance out their squad, that's all.
You'd much rather a star of course, since you're all about the big names...in fact, part of what attracts you to the Clippers are their stars, BDJ in particular...you plan to see him play, but you're wary that he'll be a shell of himself and not nearly as fun to watch. Well don't you worry, he's slowed down a lot, I think he's still the best PG on the roster. That being said, I personally don't know if I'd start him though. I think Stoll's just too short to play off-ball at SG, and too good to play combo guard off the bench. BDJ may be the best pure PG on the Clippers, but his dropping athleticism and production might make him a better fit off the bench, where he'll be up against lesser competition and can leverage his experience to produce and anchor the second unit...so, you'll still have a chance to see him dominate. Happy now? Ugh, now I'm sensing the presence of Cobb. I can smell it, too. That's weird. Oh wait, that's my popcorn. Hold up a minute, lemme go get it.
...mmm, yeah I'm back. You don't mind me snacking a bit, do you? Of course you don't, I can sense it. I can also sense that you bet money on Cobb being the Clips' leading scorer. Well one, don't bet so much on sports, your wife will be hella pissed once she finds out. Oh, don't make that face, she'll be fine after you make it up to her with a shopping trip. Yes, Cobb will do it, but it'll be close. Let's not forget that Sterner and Stoll are also 20 ppg guys who take about the same amount of shots as Cobb, with similar usage rates as well. Cobb's also 30, so he's going to slow down a little regardless, whether that be in efficiency, FG%, TS%, or just raw stats. His ppg dropped the more help he was given in Detroit, so I'd expect his scoring this year to be more in line with those numbers rather than the 30 per we know he's capable of. I wouldn't be surprised to see 23-21 ppg, 21-20 ppg, 20-18 ppg from the Clippers' big 3 this season, with Cobb leading the pack. Oh...hold up...the spirits are telling me that Scott Leonard was just traded to the Clippers. Yeah, there's a chance you might be screwed, bro. Hold on, you bet on the playoffs too? What the... y'know, don't say any more. Yes I know you didn't actually say it, but your thoughts, they're like, totally screaming at me right now. How much did you bet? Anyway...I think - and that's all I'm gonna give your high rolling ass - that's it's likely both LA teams will make the playoffs. Right now I have the Lakers pegged as a bubble team, but it's a pretty big bubble in the Alpha this season, maybe even bigger than last season's. The backcourt/wing rotation around Delmar is just nasty, full of very good role players who can step in at any time and fill in whatever the team needs. There's a lot of tough 1-2 punches amongst Alpha guards and small forwards, and having multiple bodies to throw at all of them sets them up really nicely. And out of the top contenders in the Omega Conference, I have the least amount of questions when looking at the Clippers' roster, so I feel comfortable calling them the top team and likely #1 seed there.
Okay, is that it? ... It's not? Look, maybe you should come back later, I do have appointments to prepare for, you know...why are you looking at me like that? Oh, I know what you're thinking, you think that just because there's a little dust on the floor, and just because you might have heard me run to open the door when you knocked, that I don't have any - oh, is that a hundred in your pocket? You're willing to pay for multiple sessions? Would you like some water? No, of course not, you're a milk person. Let me get you some milk.
All right, I brought your favorite, chocolate chip.... you're dieting? More for me then. So, you live in Cali, but your true loyalties lie with New Orleans, where you grew up. Okay, I can dig that...so you want to know how they'll do this season...Well, they'll win their division, I can say that much. A lot of other teams will give them a helluva fight, but if Franklin and Johnson can't at least snag a division title under an active GM, then at least one of them is a fraud. They should keep an eye on Dallas, if only because they're the type of team that if you don't keep your eye on them, they'll sneak in and knock you out. Minnesota and Toronto look really good, but they're both still young. As the clear frontrunners in the division, a rival will have to ride to challenge them...but seriously, don't be surprised if Dallas is suddenly right behind them. To keep them firmly behind them, they should - not saying they will, can't make the future too clear y'know - look to upgrade at SG. Haddock and Medendez aren't the best guys around at the point, but they're effective enough. You want the ball in Johnson or Franklin's hands as much as possible anyway. The 2's where they're really weak at, Cain's the only true option there…I also foresee a trade with a team thin on bigs, like the Bucks or Lakers. If Johnson's at the 3 and Franklin's at the 4, that means they can afford to drop one of McKnight/Williams, package both, or explore trading one of Fortre/Allen...what do you mean, you've never seen a guy eat an entire plate of cookies so fast? Hey, divining the mysteries of the universe is tough enough, focusing your energy inward from that to zero in on basketball really makes the old tummy rumble! And besides, you like New Orleans, you should already know that Allen eats way more than I do! What, you never noticed that he's the same height as Franklin but weighs like 30 pounds more or something? Boy be eating good.
Now, is that it? ......Your wife's an OKC fan? Good heavens, why? You know I can't read her mind from here, right? Oh, nevermind. I'm picking up the remnants of the conversation you two had. The amount of clutter in your soul would be fascinating if it wasn't so..clutter-y. Wade's gonna be a shooting guard forever, y'know. I mean, he'll moonlight at PG and SF from time to time, but his average PAS and PSD will forever limit his ability to excel at those spots full-time. I mean, the universe could zig after it told me it was zagging as and those skills could jump higher than expected, but he's as pure a SG as it gets, can't imagine him anywhere else...not that I'm imagining this, mind you! For some reason, though, I'm not seeing any reason why Oturu would get traded, dunno why your wife won't buy that jersey. Well, other than the fact that she's clearly the more financially-savvy of the two of you.
See, the thing about Wade looking so good right now is that the Thunder don't have to be afraid to put pieces around him that don't quite line up age-wise. Wade may not be ready to win now, but he's definitely ready to contribute now. A guy like Otoru will be in the latter, fully-realized stages of his prime right as Wade really begins to hit his stride. Throw a couple of other ready-now 27- to 29-year olds in the mix, and that's a solid playoff team that could be a contender depending on how good Wade is once he hits the early stage of his prime. Otoru's age is nowhere near the issue she thinks it is. Personally, I'd get an Urquhart jersey, they're on sale now because who really wants "Urquhart" on the back of their jersey? But just between you and me, the kid could be really good if they invest in him. I can see it. He's young, quick, and easy to build. If they boost his DRB and STL from C to B, and increase his currents as well, they'll instantly have a great two-way big who owns the paint on both ends. Then he can take over the starting PF spot, while Otoru slides over to C in a small-ball frontcourt set. Or, they could just boost Oturu. They're either going to do one or the other, I can't pin down exactly which. He only has one potential lower than a C (in BLK), so he's extremely versatile in terms of personally creating the perfect complimentary big to put next to Wade, whatever that looks like...oh, and she might as well get over that Boban salt, he's not finished yet. Age ain't nothing but a number in the House that Horford Built. I'd be less confident in saying that if there were better options in Houston and if he didn't just drop 27.5 per last season and 19.3 in the postseas- er, ignore that. Even if he's overdue for a drop-off, he hasn't scored under 22 ppg since his rookie season. He's gonna drop at least 20.5 per.
Okay then, glad I could help with whatever weird basketball-related marital issues you two have. I'd like to invite you both to stop by later...but I'm not. Thanks for the moolah, now...you have more, don't you. Your friend said the Bulls are going all-in. Well, he's wrong. The Bulls will be sellers. If they try to buy, they're probably going to find out that they'll have to buy a lot to compete. Ridley and Felicio are the only true starters on the roster, and that's simply not enough. They could easily swing a deal for another star, but that alone won't be enough to seriously compete with the Clippers/Pelicans/etc. They'll eventually come to the realization that it'll be much easier to move Ridley and rebuild around Felicio, than it will be to gut the roster and build an instant contender. Next... you're writing a column on the Sixers and you'd like to know what I think about the trio of Wiseman, Winston, and Toppin. Really, man? Really? What kind of cheap rag do you write for...no, I'm blocking you off. Your mind is a janky open-world game in beta and I want no part of it anymore. All right, not trying to give any secrets away, but...
Wiseman: He was supposed to be dominant by now, though he is still 24, so whatever. It might've been a miscalculation to try and turn him into a PF early on rather than focusing on improving his SF skills. His TC hit in nothing to get spooked about, he's still a quality guy who is completely unlike anything we've seen before in the history of the league. It'll take multiple TC hits to permanently cripple him.
Toppin: I wouldn't have put more points into him after that hit. I knew that they wanted to salvage him since they'd be stuck with him for a year, but that was a really big hit, and they don't know if it'll be the last. Hell, I don't know. Still, it did get him back to blue again...I would still be wary of putting more points back into him.
Winston: Keeping this guy should be a priority. PGs are at a premium, and this guy's headed towards being one of the elite ones. That's all I'll say.
...As a whole, Philly's still a major threat, but they have two seasons max before it's time to make the final decision on shipping one of the trio out. It's really hard to maneuver around multiple max deals long-term. It's ultimately up to them to shape their own future, but if they do decide to roll with the big 3, no more training. Thy should start saving now, and look for efficient players who can either be signed to min/cheap deals or are already on value deals, like Smallwood. They can't gamble with Rodriquez/McRae, they should decide on whether they want to move them now or next season, because they will command too much cap room to keep any longer than that. They are not a part of their future in that scenario. Now, git. Please. I need to recharge my spiritual batteries.
To all my readers, thank you! This was really fun to work on. For my final predictions, I'm predicting that the Alpha conference will be crazy. There's a couple of teams who will eat loss after loss, but this season should be more wide-open overall than last year. Most top teams took a hit or went in slightly different directions, but they didn't fall too far, and the middle of the pack all made moves to climb a bit higher. I'm expecting at least one new team to make the playoffs over last season. And as for repetitive memes disappearing this season...Not a chance in hell. Even if you think you've vanquished the TC or Slime memes, all it takes is one new goofy post and bam, new sim meme trend. Remember #harmful? And besides, how can you say repetitive memes are dead when the most repetitive meme of all always gets reposted around 5 o'clock on a sim day?
Until next time, everybody. Again, thanks, and enjoy the season.
You're not alone, you know. Others have come from far and wide seeking wisdom. That's probably why they walked right by here and to the other shop on the right. Whoa, hey, but don't leave, dear stranger! Those lucky few who have had the presence of mind to come and sit have left satisfied, filled, confident in the direction of their franchises. Oh wait, you're just a fan? Well...okay then. Wait, I bet I know what's coming next. You're from California...but you could never decide which team to support. You wonder if the Lakers did enough this offseason to earn your support... Personally, I think they did. I wouldn't have done any different, other than being just a little bit more active, that is. It's been a pretty great offseason for the Lakers in terms of acquisitions, and real life > sim life, always. It's just that it's easier to sniff out potential deals when you're active... you're also wondering whether any new players to cheer for will come...They will, and they should. The minute a wing player that isn't cutting it or is more than really needed is found, LA should look for another big ASAP, preferably a PF. Todd and Burnham are solid, and the guys they already have at PF are good enough, but they're going to need more come playoff time. Heck, they don't even have to go after another JJJ-caliber guy, just picking up a proven vet who consistently produces will be fine...The Lakers just really need another post presence to balance out their squad, that's all.
You'd much rather a star of course, since you're all about the big names...in fact, part of what attracts you to the Clippers are their stars, BDJ in particular...you plan to see him play, but you're wary that he'll be a shell of himself and not nearly as fun to watch. Well don't you worry, he's slowed down a lot, I think he's still the best PG on the roster. That being said, I personally don't know if I'd start him though. I think Stoll's just too short to play off-ball at SG, and too good to play combo guard off the bench. BDJ may be the best pure PG on the Clippers, but his dropping athleticism and production might make him a better fit off the bench, where he'll be up against lesser competition and can leverage his experience to produce and anchor the second unit...so, you'll still have a chance to see him dominate. Happy now? Ugh, now I'm sensing the presence of Cobb. I can smell it, too. That's weird. Oh wait, that's my popcorn. Hold up a minute, lemme go get it.
...mmm, yeah I'm back. You don't mind me snacking a bit, do you? Of course you don't, I can sense it. I can also sense that you bet money on Cobb being the Clips' leading scorer. Well one, don't bet so much on sports, your wife will be hella pissed once she finds out. Oh, don't make that face, she'll be fine after you make it up to her with a shopping trip. Yes, Cobb will do it, but it'll be close. Let's not forget that Sterner and Stoll are also 20 ppg guys who take about the same amount of shots as Cobb, with similar usage rates as well. Cobb's also 30, so he's going to slow down a little regardless, whether that be in efficiency, FG%, TS%, or just raw stats. His ppg dropped the more help he was given in Detroit, so I'd expect his scoring this year to be more in line with those numbers rather than the 30 per we know he's capable of. I wouldn't be surprised to see 23-21 ppg, 21-20 ppg, 20-18 ppg from the Clippers' big 3 this season, with Cobb leading the pack. Oh...hold up...the spirits are telling me that Scott Leonard was just traded to the Clippers. Yeah, there's a chance you might be screwed, bro. Hold on, you bet on the playoffs too? What the... y'know, don't say any more. Yes I know you didn't actually say it, but your thoughts, they're like, totally screaming at me right now. How much did you bet? Anyway...I think - and that's all I'm gonna give your high rolling ass - that's it's likely both LA teams will make the playoffs. Right now I have the Lakers pegged as a bubble team, but it's a pretty big bubble in the Alpha this season, maybe even bigger than last season's. The backcourt/wing rotation around Delmar is just nasty, full of very good role players who can step in at any time and fill in whatever the team needs. There's a lot of tough 1-2 punches amongst Alpha guards and small forwards, and having multiple bodies to throw at all of them sets them up really nicely. And out of the top contenders in the Omega Conference, I have the least amount of questions when looking at the Clippers' roster, so I feel comfortable calling them the top team and likely #1 seed there.
Okay, is that it? ... It's not? Look, maybe you should come back later, I do have appointments to prepare for, you know...why are you looking at me like that? Oh, I know what you're thinking, you think that just because there's a little dust on the floor, and just because you might have heard me run to open the door when you knocked, that I don't have any - oh, is that a hundred in your pocket? You're willing to pay for multiple sessions? Would you like some water? No, of course not, you're a milk person. Let me get you some milk.
All right, I brought your favorite, chocolate chip.... you're dieting? More for me then. So, you live in Cali, but your true loyalties lie with New Orleans, where you grew up. Okay, I can dig that...so you want to know how they'll do this season...Well, they'll win their division, I can say that much. A lot of other teams will give them a helluva fight, but if Franklin and Johnson can't at least snag a division title under an active GM, then at least one of them is a fraud. They should keep an eye on Dallas, if only because they're the type of team that if you don't keep your eye on them, they'll sneak in and knock you out. Minnesota and Toronto look really good, but they're both still young. As the clear frontrunners in the division, a rival will have to ride to challenge them...but seriously, don't be surprised if Dallas is suddenly right behind them. To keep them firmly behind them, they should - not saying they will, can't make the future too clear y'know - look to upgrade at SG. Haddock and Medendez aren't the best guys around at the point, but they're effective enough. You want the ball in Johnson or Franklin's hands as much as possible anyway. The 2's where they're really weak at, Cain's the only true option there…I also foresee a trade with a team thin on bigs, like the Bucks or Lakers. If Johnson's at the 3 and Franklin's at the 4, that means they can afford to drop one of McKnight/Williams, package both, or explore trading one of Fortre/Allen...what do you mean, you've never seen a guy eat an entire plate of cookies so fast? Hey, divining the mysteries of the universe is tough enough, focusing your energy inward from that to zero in on basketball really makes the old tummy rumble! And besides, you like New Orleans, you should already know that Allen eats way more than I do! What, you never noticed that he's the same height as Franklin but weighs like 30 pounds more or something? Boy be eating good.
Now, is that it? ......Your wife's an OKC fan? Good heavens, why? You know I can't read her mind from here, right? Oh, nevermind. I'm picking up the remnants of the conversation you two had. The amount of clutter in your soul would be fascinating if it wasn't so..clutter-y. Wade's gonna be a shooting guard forever, y'know. I mean, he'll moonlight at PG and SF from time to time, but his average PAS and PSD will forever limit his ability to excel at those spots full-time. I mean, the universe could zig after it told me it was zagging as and those skills could jump higher than expected, but he's as pure a SG as it gets, can't imagine him anywhere else...not that I'm imagining this, mind you! For some reason, though, I'm not seeing any reason why Oturu would get traded, dunno why your wife won't buy that jersey. Well, other than the fact that she's clearly the more financially-savvy of the two of you.
See, the thing about Wade looking so good right now is that the Thunder don't have to be afraid to put pieces around him that don't quite line up age-wise. Wade may not be ready to win now, but he's definitely ready to contribute now. A guy like Otoru will be in the latter, fully-realized stages of his prime right as Wade really begins to hit his stride. Throw a couple of other ready-now 27- to 29-year olds in the mix, and that's a solid playoff team that could be a contender depending on how good Wade is once he hits the early stage of his prime. Otoru's age is nowhere near the issue she thinks it is. Personally, I'd get an Urquhart jersey, they're on sale now because who really wants "Urquhart" on the back of their jersey? But just between you and me, the kid could be really good if they invest in him. I can see it. He's young, quick, and easy to build. If they boost his DRB and STL from C to B, and increase his currents as well, they'll instantly have a great two-way big who owns the paint on both ends. Then he can take over the starting PF spot, while Otoru slides over to C in a small-ball frontcourt set. Or, they could just boost Oturu. They're either going to do one or the other, I can't pin down exactly which. He only has one potential lower than a C (in BLK), so he's extremely versatile in terms of personally creating the perfect complimentary big to put next to Wade, whatever that looks like...oh, and she might as well get over that Boban salt, he's not finished yet. Age ain't nothing but a number in the House that Horford Built. I'd be less confident in saying that if there were better options in Houston and if he didn't just drop 27.5 per last season and 19.3 in the postseas- er, ignore that. Even if he's overdue for a drop-off, he hasn't scored under 22 ppg since his rookie season. He's gonna drop at least 20.5 per.
Okay then, glad I could help with whatever weird basketball-related marital issues you two have. I'd like to invite you both to stop by later...but I'm not. Thanks for the moolah, now...you have more, don't you. Your friend said the Bulls are going all-in. Well, he's wrong. The Bulls will be sellers. If they try to buy, they're probably going to find out that they'll have to buy a lot to compete. Ridley and Felicio are the only true starters on the roster, and that's simply not enough. They could easily swing a deal for another star, but that alone won't be enough to seriously compete with the Clippers/Pelicans/etc. They'll eventually come to the realization that it'll be much easier to move Ridley and rebuild around Felicio, than it will be to gut the roster and build an instant contender. Next... you're writing a column on the Sixers and you'd like to know what I think about the trio of Wiseman, Winston, and Toppin. Really, man? Really? What kind of cheap rag do you write for...no, I'm blocking you off. Your mind is a janky open-world game in beta and I want no part of it anymore. All right, not trying to give any secrets away, but...
Wiseman: He was supposed to be dominant by now, though he is still 24, so whatever. It might've been a miscalculation to try and turn him into a PF early on rather than focusing on improving his SF skills. His TC hit in nothing to get spooked about, he's still a quality guy who is completely unlike anything we've seen before in the history of the league. It'll take multiple TC hits to permanently cripple him.
Toppin: I wouldn't have put more points into him after that hit. I knew that they wanted to salvage him since they'd be stuck with him for a year, but that was a really big hit, and they don't know if it'll be the last. Hell, I don't know. Still, it did get him back to blue again...I would still be wary of putting more points back into him.
Winston: Keeping this guy should be a priority. PGs are at a premium, and this guy's headed towards being one of the elite ones. That's all I'll say.
...As a whole, Philly's still a major threat, but they have two seasons max before it's time to make the final decision on shipping one of the trio out. It's really hard to maneuver around multiple max deals long-term. It's ultimately up to them to shape their own future, but if they do decide to roll with the big 3, no more training. Thy should start saving now, and look for efficient players who can either be signed to min/cheap deals or are already on value deals, like Smallwood. They can't gamble with Rodriquez/McRae, they should decide on whether they want to move them now or next season, because they will command too much cap room to keep any longer than that. They are not a part of their future in that scenario. Now, git. Please. I need to recharge my spiritual batteries.
To all my readers, thank you! This was really fun to work on. For my final predictions, I'm predicting that the Alpha conference will be crazy. There's a couple of teams who will eat loss after loss, but this season should be more wide-open overall than last year. Most top teams took a hit or went in slightly different directions, but they didn't fall too far, and the middle of the pack all made moves to climb a bit higher. I'm expecting at least one new team to make the playoffs over last season. And as for repetitive memes disappearing this season...Not a chance in hell. Even if you think you've vanquished the TC or Slime memes, all it takes is one new goofy post and bam, new sim meme trend. Remember #harmful? And besides, how can you say repetitive memes are dead when the most repetitive meme of all always gets reposted around 5 o'clock on a sim day?
Until next time, everybody. Again, thanks, and enjoy the season.