#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

digiskunk: First and foremost, I want to thank you everybody for arriving at this press conference. Second, and perhaps more importantly—and I cannot stress this enough—I urge you to check out Tool's latest album, which you can find on Spotify as well as numerous other streaming websites. You see, Tool has been my favorite band for a long while, and this album has been long awaited. I feel that it's important to note that they've just released this album and you should, by all means, check it out—especially if you're into progressive metal that has an underlying spiritual meaning.

Last season, we put our players to the test to see what they were capable of. Players such as Len Bias and Quintin Kidd excelled immensely, as did Mike Piazza and A.C. Williams. Although we clearly weren't in contention, we were happy with the results that they produced.

During the offseason, we signed Vernon Desantis to a mighty large deal. He'll be our center heading forward with A.C. backing him up. Vernon Desantis is quite the signing; despite his hit during training camp, he'll still be a force to be reckoned with heading forward.

We also drafted Leonard Washington, who is immensely talented at the game of dice. However, what people do not realize, is that he is also a fairly talented basketball player. We hope that he'll be a helpful asset for us.

Training Camp was a tough situation for us, as I, the manager, was in Michigan at the time. During that time period, apparently both Vernon and Mike Piazza both took a dramatic hit. This was something that I greatly feared entering the offseason, and apparently my fears culminated into a nightmare. Regardless of that fact, I'm happy to announce that I'm pretty satisfied with the new album that was released by Tool, my favorite band. Furthermore, I feel as if both Vernon and Piazza still have an immense role on this ballclub.

We still have players such as Silky Johnson, Len Bias, and Leonard Washington—these players, I hope, will be our future. And I sincerely believe that the rest will be as well, barring any unforeseen circumstances.

We plan on utilizing every player that we have in an attempt to grasp the title.

Now, for the questions: What ya got?

Sorry to hear about your Training Camp this year. You'll still put up good numbers I reckon. Who are you looking to for a breakout year??

With Kidd, Williams, and Johnson all in their primes, is it fair to say that Len Bias hasn't progressed as fast as the team hoped he would?

Could Leonard Washington end up the greatest 2-sport athlete when including his skills at dice? Do you worry he could leave basketball behind to focus on his dice career??

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: You mention that Vernon Desantis will still have the starting role, but AC Williams looks like he's improving fast. Where is the point at which AC Williams will be your starter?

Also, what is your favorite track on Fear Inoculum?

greepleairport wrote: Sat Aug 31, 2019 10:56 am Sorry to hear about your Training Camp this year. You'll still put up good numbers I reckon. Who are you looking to for a breakout year??

Silky Johnson, we hope. But then again, we've been saying that every year...

Wombataholic wrote: Sat Aug 31, 2019 4:39 pm With Kidd, Williams, and Johnson all in their primes, is it fair to say that Len Bias hasn't progressed as fast as the team hoped he would?

Well, he's only entering his sophomore season, so there isn't really any pressure on him just yet. We have no doubt that he's going to become the next Stephen Keitt!

MexicanMamba wrote: Sun Sep 01, 2019 12:38 am Could Leonard Washington end up the greatest 2-sport athlete when including his skills at dice? Do you worry he could leave basketball behind to focus on his dice career??

This is something we focused hard on when we first drafted him. Prior to his selection, we called him up and asked if he'd give up the life of dice in exchange for professional basketball. "No," he told us simply, "but I'll still play my heart out regardless." So we're pretty happy

You’ve missed the playoffs the last 5 seasons and spent quite a bit of money this offseason. What would you define as a successful season? When do you think you’ll return to the Finals?

Does the signing of Desantis mean that you're officially looking to move out of the rebuilding phase and into competing for a division title?

Does this adequately describe your response to those that say the Jazz will have another losing season?