#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

Los Angeles Clippers

News Release

7/8/2019

LOS ANGELES

[ Clippers team owner Dennis Noreira walks onto stage, in a blue pinstripe suit with a red and blue dress shirt underneath.  The camera bulbs flash as a few photos are taken when Mr. Noreira gets behind the podium and positions himself to the microphone to speak. ]

Noreira:  Ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome you  today for a very special press conference to introduce you to a few members of the future of our beloved Clippers.  As many of you can attest to, it's been a long, rough road to try getting back to respectability.  Winning in professional sports is about more than just making the right transactions or coaching moves.  It's a culture, a mindset.  It is something which we have lacked for far too long.  This is not the fault of our coaches or players in the past, as we have some talented and dedicated men and women behind the scenes and on the court, some of which are here in the audience today and I thank them for their support.  It all starts with me and the decisions that I make.  So, today I am proud to introduce you to the men that I have chosen to help guide us into the future.   Our General Manager, Roberto Abitua.  Our first round draft pick, Norrin Radd.  And last but not least, Clipper legend and champion and new head coach ... Kevin Durant. 

[ One by one the men step out from the back to a chorus of applause and flashing cameras.  Roberto Abitua first, in a black on black, Johnny Cashesque, suit with his long black hair tied back.  His blue eyes sparkling in the camera lights and his smile just as lively.  Standing 6'6" and weighing over 250lbs., Mr. Abitua looks every bit the athlete as anyone that may step on the court.  Norrin Radd is next, in a very vibrant silver blazer over top a black polo shirt and black jeans, giving a wink and a quick wave to his new teammates at the back of the room.  Kevin Durant steps last in a grey suit with light blue accents.  All three men shake hands with the Mr. Noreira and sit down at tables each with their own microphone. ]

Noreira:  Ladies and gentlemen, the future of Clippers  basketball.  Before taking questions, these men have a few things they'd like to say.  Take it away, Mr. Abitua. 

Abitua:  Gracias.  I couldn't begin today without first thanking Mr. Noreira for the amazing opportunity to be apart of this Clippers renaissance.  I have had a very unique path to getting here, starting in professional wrestling as an athlete and then in talent scouting.  It's certainly unorthodox.  But I can promise you that no one works harder than I do at their craft.  No one is as driven to accomplish their goals.  And I can for damn sure guarantee that no one loves to win, and hates to lose more than me.  I took this job with the goal being not only to turn us into winners ... But to transform us into champions.  And with Mr. Noreira's backing and with Mr. Durant sharing his basketball wisdom, I'm confident we'll get there.  His first task will be to mold the man to my right into the player that we believe that he can be.  A playmaker, a scorer and someone who has no fear of the big moment.  Norrin Radd is in to be the Herald of a new era.  I have no doubt that he will be everything and more. 

[ Norrin adjusts in his seat and smiles ]

Radd:  What's up, y'all? I'm thrilled to be here and live out my dreams in the city of Los Angeles.  I can promise all of our fans and the men putting all this trust in me, that you'll get my best effort.  I'm here to make you proud.   I can't wait to get started.  Coach ... (He glances Kevin Durant's direction) let's kick it in the ass,  Yeah?

Durant:  We're going to do that every single day.  (He gives a slight head nod to Radd before looking forward at the media) We haven't always had the best of relationships, have we? (Mumbled laughter fills the room) Well, I'll work on that.  I really cannot wait to get to work with everyone in this organization again.  It's been hell watching the struggles since I retired, but I've kept busy.  Last year, winning the NCAA title while coaching the Ohio State University was amazing.  It also re-lit that championship fire in me and I knew that I had to get back home to fight to bring more gold to this city ... And more specifically this team.  We are here to win.  Not to try to win.  Not to hope to win.  We are going to just do it.  No excuses and no shortcuts.  I will work tirelessly for this organization.  All I ask of the men here with me and of the players that I'll be taking over is that you match my efforts.  Don't shortchange me, and definitely do not shortchange yourself.  Let's do it. 

[ The applause fills the room again, led by the owner.  He smiles at the crowd before speaking again.  ]

Noreira:  Now ... Does anyone have any questions?

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: The Grizzlies, Clippers, Lakers, and Warriors all are under new general management. While none of those teams is in a position to compete for a deep run this season, what do you think the Clippers have that gives them the brightest future of the four?

What about this league do you find most attractive to you?

Is there a timetable for the Clippers becoming a true contender in the Omega Conference?

As of this moment, your team is about as talented as a squadron of six graders. Out of all your top prospects—namely Michael Garvin, Colby Lopez, and Chris Pallies—who stands out to you the most, and which of them would you trust to take your daughter out to prom?

But in all seriousness, which of these prospects are you highest on heading forward?

garbageman wrote: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:05 pm Sham Smith, Bulls.com: The Grizzlies, Clippers, Lakers, and Warriors all are under new general management. While none of those teams is in a position to compete for a deep run this season, what do you think the Clippers have that gives them the brightest future of the four?

It always starts at the top, so first I'd say we have a unified vision of where we want to go. We are communicating daily and making decisions as to the present, with an eye on the future, as a collective. On top of that however, we have a strong youthful presence on our roster that have been incredibly receptive to coaching and criticism with motivation to get better. It also doesn't hurt that our cap is in a good place right now so we have the flexibility to be creative and daring with our personnel choices now and in the future if we so choose.

IamQuailman wrote: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:15 pm What about this league do you find most attractive to you?

The challenge. There driven people running these franchises who are looking to win, win and win some more. Nothing gets my juices flowing quite like competition and I see that I'll get that in surplus here.

false9 wrote: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:39 pm Is there a timetable for the Clippers becoming a true contender in the Omega Conference?

The competitor in me says NOW. Obviously there are going to be challenges to overcome. It's a difficult question to answer as we have only just how begun to get our hands dirty and feeling out this roster. I feel good that with the addition of the right veterans and championship level coaching, these young guys can learn to win the right way quickly. We have realistic expectations for this season, which is as far as we can afford to spend too much effort looking into right this moment.

digiskunk wrote: Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:51 pm As of this moment, your team is about as talented as a squadron of six graders. Out of all your top prospects—namely Michael Garvin, Colby Lopez, and Chris Pallies—who stands out to you the most, and which of them would you trust to take your daughter out to prom?

But in all seriousness, which of these prospects are you highest on heading forward?

While they all have their own strengths, I am very much looking forward to seeing Mr. Garvin take the next step and take the mantle as an Alpha on this team. That's his personal challenge. He has all the tools to be a top level playmaker in this league and he will be given the opportunity to showcase that this season. I'd also not underestimate Pallies either. His career has not been as smooth a transition as he'd hoped when he was drafted but I can tell you he has been working incredibly hard this off-season and looks great. You may see all of it finally click for that young man really soon.