#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

When I looked around the league after training camp I was, for some unknown reason, reminded of Trogdor burninating the countryside (for those of you unfamiliar with the source material https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90X5NJleYJQ).


Things got ugly this year, as they always do. So anyway, I decided to do a Trogdor themed recap of TC.

Knicks
The Knicks will still be good this year and they are the reigning champs but Gary Harris got dinged pretty hard for a 30 year old and that Chet Dooley deal looks even more painful after a typical 31 year old training camp. Overall, TC was not kind to the Knicks, I give them two burning peasants.


Sixers
The Sixers will also be really good this year. Karl Anthony Towns will still be good this year but let's not pretend his training camp didn't hurt after they sent out Ayton to get him. My guess is he'll bounce back up to blue at some point but he definitely didn't get things started on the right foot in Phili.


Raptors
The Raptors continued their march to prominence. They have faced minimal set backs in their rebuilding. Ironside is already a stud at 21. Things are going nicely. I give them one beefy arm.


Nets
Marquis Chriss loses his blue potential. Agustin goes from green blue to yellow green. Wow. The new look Nets just got walloped. I just feel bad for them.


Celtics
New guy Moses Barger got a TC boost a year after getting a TC beatdown. Kevin Love stays blue blue somehow. These guys are fairly #tcblessed. Let’s see if they can turn these blessings into wins.


Pistons
Really all that matters is that Anthony Davis stayed a purple destroyer of worlds at the age of 31. The TC boost for Woodson is just gravy.


Bulls
They are obviously not feeling too good about the effect TC had Saric (already on the block) and Harris. DSJ, Haugh, and Desantis look good and Russ looks immortalish so they’ll be alright.


Bucks
Sure Shelton Durbin took a bit of a hit but there is only one thing that matters in Milwaukee and that is RJ Barrett’s monster, I mean MONSTER, leap in TC. There are other worlds where Small gets the TC bump to purple and Barrett gets hit in TC but we live in this world and in this world the Bucks are seeing purple.


Cavs
Sure Kemba took a beating but he’s 34 what do you expect? Seven footer Nathaniel Anderson got bumped up to blue potential and, considering this is a team living for the future, that’s way more important.
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Pacers
Jabari took a TC beating a couple of years ahead of schedule. That hurts. James Webster’s camp wasn’t good. Judd Williams had a nice camp though so there is a silver lining.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Magic
Their young core all had great camps. Biyombo didn’t die. Andrew Wiggins is still awesome. It’s all good in Orlando.


Hawks
Baldwin and Donald kept progressing. Tatum and Ellinger are still studs. The one story line here is that Dan Ran is starting to show signs of decline. I’m not too worried about him. He was great as a green green player before. I think he’ll continue to be so until his $32 million a year contract expires.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wizards
Chad Marsh got that blue potential but he didn’t get a bump. He just got more athletic. In other colors don’t matter news, Bonnifaz Wenninger went from green green to yellow yellow but he looks like basically the same player. The real pain with that is in the marketing. Boney is on the block and a $21 million yellow player is a hard sell.


Bobcats
Honestly, there really isn’t much to say about these guys. I guess no news is good news when it comes to TC. The young guys progressed the old guys disgressed.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nuggets
The Nuggets have to feel pretty good about TC simply because they wheels haven’t fallen off of Thom Rob and Hailey. Yeah, some old guys got beat up but Jerry West has progressed so fast.


T-Wolves
The T-Wolves had a ho-hum TC.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thunder
If I’m the Thunder, my only problem with training camp is the slow growth of my prospects. They’re going to have to pay Lino Brookins next year and he is as yellow as can be. They are being patient but it is frustrating to have to pay the big bucks for a guy that isn’t ready to be a starter on a good team.


Blazers
I really shouldn’t write about this team. Zion got dinged up pretty badly. I’d feel bad about not insuring him except I was too busy saving Bagley and Small from getting burninated. Yes, I could have insured him instead of Jackson but three guys getting roughed up this bad in TC is bad and asking a GM to guess which three it will be with this many young guys on the roster is rough.


Jazz
The Jazz made a lot of moves this offseason and the computer punished them for a few of them. Whittaker, who they may have been trying to flip and whose defense already made him a liability, got hit. The $46 million men, Paul George and Rudy Gobert also took hits, making them harder to flip as well. Jerrell Hamilton, sporting a $12 million contract himself, also got beat up. And don’t forget Thomas Bedard. Things got ugly in Salt Lake City.


Kings
Post Duren Sacramento continues to thrive without him. GM Nola tried to rebuild this offseason, but instead just reloaded with a great offseason. TC went great as well.


Suns
Yes, their many old guys got the usual TC old guy treatment but home-grown talent Thomas Knecht got a really nice boost and looks to be a real stud in the making. This is a huge win for a team that chose to compete by acquiring Lavar Ball.


Lakers
I guess Ted Whitlock lost a step or whatever. But that hardly seems to matter. The core stayed strong. Whiteside still has something left in the tank. They’ll be alright without Teddy.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Warriors
Swan got a little bump. Bolton and Allen progressed. 32 year old Kanter faired fairly well, as did Jrue. Overall, I think they did okay.


Clippers
Some guy named Mitch Cohn got a nice little bump. Virgil Runnels, Jr. had to be saved by insurance but he was saved. For a team this far from competing. Slow progress is okay. For now.

Pelicans
Starting point guard Dennis Schroder was 31 for training camp as was newly signed Steven Adams, which was bad news for the Pellies. Larry Arbogast did not fare well in the first training camp of his 30’s. The Pelicans have started the season hot but their training camp was not so hot.


Spurs
Newcomer James Gebhart is now a fully operational OP battlestation and DJ Bryce went full blue so the Spurs have to be excited about that. Meanwhile Harold Fairly got dinged and the $32 million man, Buddy P fell to green green in his age 31 training camp. Buddy will still be good this year but it does not bode well for the next 3 expensive years on his contract.



Rockets
Al Horford is STILL BLUE BLUE. He is THIRTY EIGHT. That alone earns them a beefy arm. To ice that old but durable cake, Frank Garden got a nice little TC boost and McCormick went full blue. No one really cares that Harold Moxley lost his green potential.



Mavs
The green army got more green as Darnell Mitchell went full green. As did Jeremy Lamb and Bradley Beal, except that they used to be blue so that’s a bad thing. Steven Nix randomly died at the ripe old age of 22. Overall not a good camp for the Mavs.



Grizz
The Grizz had a very expected camp. Their mediocre prospects stayed mediocre. TJ Warren was 31 and so his camp was bad. There is only one rating for the Grizz.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Points Czar awards you 6(5+1 for an amazing concept) points! 1313 words