#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

Hello, and welcome to the 2024-2025 Chicago Bulls preseason press conference. I’m you’re host, Garbageman, and boy do we have some exciting basketball in store for you this season. Last season, despite a winning record at 47-35, the team did not make the playoffs. The Bulls front office had a lot of decisions to make over the offseason, and taking a look at the entire league, but especially our conference, we felt it was a better time to stay competitive than to try and rebuild.

We really feel like Dennis and Vernon are two of the best players in their positions, and with the way Leroy Haugh has been putting in work to improve, we feel like we have a solid foundation already in place. We think that Leroy is ready to take the reigns over from Russ as our primary scoring option, and at this stage in his career, Russ is going to move into a new role as our sixth-man and leader of our bench unit.

While there are some really talented teams out there that are deservedly being talked about as championship favorites, we’ve made a lot of moves to improve upon last year ,and I expect that to show with a postseason spot. We’re expecting Tobias Harris and Dario Saric to come in right away and contribute, and we’re bringing Charles Tardiff, Byron Odell, and Kenneth Faried back for important roles.

We’re also excited to announce a new promotion. Any Bulls home win where a Bulls player scores a double-double, fans get a free KFC Double Down sandwich.

With that incredible news, I’ll open the floor up to questions.

Nick Melon; The Advocate: What areas do you think this team could possibly need the most improvement in during the season?

NickMalone77 wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 3:39 pm Nick Melon; The Advocate: What areas do you think this team could possibly need the most improvement in during the season?

A better defensive scheme and more discipline on both sides of the court. We need to foul less and take less bad shots. Especially with how good this team is at passing, we should be able to find better shots.

Do you think Westbrook will accept being moved to the bench?

If a Bulls player records a triple double, will KFC be offering their new sandwich, the Chicken McGangbang, for free? As you know, it's a delicious fried chicken sandwich being spitroasted by 2 meaty beef patties topped with special sauce on both sides.

WigNosy wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 6:23 pm Do you think Westbrook will accept being moved to the bench?

He's going to have to unless you give him my TeamViewer password.

Wombataholic wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 6:27 pm If a Bulls player records a triple double, will KFC be offering their new sandwich, the Chicken McGangbang, for free? As you know, it's a delicious fried chicken sandwich being spitroasted by 2 meaty beef patties topped with special sauce on both sides.

On behalf of our generous sponsors at Yum! brands, I would like to assure everyone viewing this press conference that the Chicken McGangbang is not a real sandwich.

Random Reporter: What roles are you expecting Harris and Saric to play? Does the fact that they seem to have both taken a step back in terms pf effectiveness concern you any?

Any comment on the rumors you placed a call to the league offices to petition for a move to the Western Conference? Sources are quoting you as saying, 'Come on, they need teams over there!' and upon hearing that they also have 15 teams, you replied, 'Wait, really?'

Xist2Inspire wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:39 pm Random Reporter: What roles are you expecting Harris and Saric to play? Does the fact that they seem to have both taken a step back in terms pf effectiveness concern you any?

We liked the way Harris handled the SF role during the preseason. We think Dario's size will allow him to split time between the other small forward minutes and the PF spot. Kenneth Faried and Byron Odell will definitely see time at the 4 as well.

TheSyndicate wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:05 pm Any comment on the rumors you placed a call to the league offices to petition for a move to the Western Conference? Sources are quoting you as saying, 'Come on, they need teams over there!' and upon hearing that they also have 15 teams, you replied, 'Wait, really?'

It' s bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not.

garbageman wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:15 pm

TheSyndicate wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 9:05 pm Any comment on the rumors you placed a call to the league offices to petition for a move to the Western Conference? Sources are quoting you as saying, 'Come on, they need teams over there!' and upon hearing that they also have 15 teams, you replied, 'Wait, really?'

It' s bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not.

With Vernon Desantis being a double-double machine, are you concerned with the health impact your new promotion could have on season ticket holders?

false9 wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 10:57 pm With Vernon Desantis being a double-double machine, are you concerned with the health impact your new promotion could have on season ticket holders?

Not really. It's all imaginary anyway.

Do you feel the Bucks started their rebuild too early?


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NOLa. wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:42 am Do you feel the Bucks started their rebuild too early?


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The Bucks press conference is about 100 miles north of here.

garbageman wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 8:03 pm

Wombataholic wrote: Sun Nov 25, 2018 6:27 pm If a Bulls player records a triple double, will KFC be offering their new sandwich, the Chicken McGangbang, for free? As you know, it's a delicious fried chicken sandwich being spitroasted by 2 meaty beef patties topped with special sauce on both sides.

On behalf of our generous sponsors at Yum! brands, I would like to assure everyone viewing this press conference that the Chicken McGangbang is not a real sandwich.

I assure you it is very real.

You guys picked up the once highly-touted Lonzo Ball during free agency. What sort of role do you expect him to play on this Bulls roster, and how effective do you think he'll be playing that role?

digiskunk wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 10:22 am You guys picked up the once highly-touted Lonzo Ball during free agency. What sort of role do you expect him to play on this Bulls roster, and how effective do you think he'll be playing that role?

Depth. It worked for the Knicks. Championship time, baby!

If you had to pick one, what is the most important single attribute or skill of any lone player on your team?

Soundwave wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:18 pm If you had to pick one, what is the most important single attribute or skill of any lone player on your team?

Probably Tobias Harris' intolerance for recycled questions. @DarthVegito -- this shit get full presser points, or is Tobias Harris going to have to head over to the suggestions thread to modify presser points rules?

You mention Dennis Smith Jr is one of the best at his position. What needs to happen this season for him to become the best and can it happen this year?

Is your team actually going to make the playoffs this season or are you still playing for 9th or 10th place in the Eastern Conference?

Conroy wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:34 pm You mention Dennis Smith Jr is one of the best at his position. What needs to happen this season for him to become the best and can it happen this year?

I don't think you can really quantify it. He'll never be as prolific a scorer as Tyler Ulis, and he'd be every bit as good as Jeffrey Duren if he were half a foot taller, no question about it. We just want Dennis to keep playing at a high level. We've really worked on him getting his own shot and being better on the defensive end. That's showed in his game this season so far. We know he can keep it up.

drkavarga wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2018 10:10 pm Is your team actually going to make the playoffs this season or are you still playing for 9th or 10th place in the Eastern Conference?

Yes to both.