#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

Wilbon: Pardon the interruption but I’m Mike Wilbon. The PBSL Trade Deadline has come and gone, which means we’re in the home stretch of the season. Some teams are surging, some are stalling. Tony, are you a surger or a staller?


Kornheiser: Pardon the interruption, I’m Tony Kornheiser. I’m more of a spitter.

Wilbon: Tony!

Kornheiser: What? My mouth gets moist. Today on PTI we’re going to talk about the best team in the league, the GM-less Knicks, we’re going to weigh in on the MVP debate, and we’re going to do the wide eyes emoji at Kevin Love’s option being declined. Plus five good minutes with Sixers forward Ben Simmons. But first let’s get to the headlines.

NO CAPTAIN, NO PROBLEM: KNICKS SMOOTH SAILING

Kornheiser: The New York Knicks are the best team in basketball. They also do not have a general manager, as Inner stepped down before the season. Being run by independent stewards, the nearly headless Knicks – any Harry Potter fans out there? – are destroying opponents by almost 15 points a game, and they have three All-Stars in Chet Dooley, Gary Harris, and Nikola Jokic. We’ve seen teams without a manager before, but we’ve never seen an unmanned team this good. But the playoffs are a different beast where direction is very important. So Wilbon, can a team without a GM win a title?

Wilbon: Absolutely. When you have the talent the Knicks have, you don’t need much planning. You can just push play. They have scorers at almost every position. They have depth. And they play defense. Inner deserves credit for putting this team in such a great position when he knew he was leaving to deal with gastrointestinal issues.

Kornheiser: Oh, GI, I get it. Look, Mike, the answer is an emphatic NO.

Wilbon: That wasn’t emphatic enough.

Kornheiser: NO WAY! Is that better? We’ve been here for a long time, and we know that the regular season is one thing, the playoffs are a completely different beast. The talent of the team won’t matter when going up against a team that can strategize. And remember how many good teams there are they have great GMs in the East! It’s impressive that these players can carry the team this far without leadership, but that won’t last forever.

Wilbon: It will last just long enough, let’s say June?

MVP, DOES THE P STAND FOR PISTONS OR PWIGGINS?

Wilbon: We need to fire our headline writer. The race for MVP is a two-man race if you look at the trend of awards. Anthony Davis has won every player of the month award in the eastern conference; Wiggins has won every award but this month’s. They combine for over half of the player of the week awards. They’re both putting up ridiculous numbers – Davis with 38 and 13 on 57% shooting, Wiggins with 33, 6, and 4 on 52% shooting. Davis has the edge on raw stats, but his Pistons are dangerously close to being out of the playoff race, while the 49-22 Timberwolves are on the door of the Northwest division and the two seed of the Western Conference. Who’s your MVP, Tony?

Kornheiser: It should be Wiggins. It won’t be Wiggins. And do you know why, Mike?

Wilbon: Not this again.

Kornheiser: THE VOTERS ARE ROBOTS! WHY DO WE LET ROBOTS MAKE DECISIONS ON THE MOST IMPORTANT AWARD OF THE YEAR?

Wilbon: The voters are the press, Tony. We all get a vote. You have a vote!

Kornheiser: You say that, but the way the “media” has voted has been transparent and shameful every year. Use your brain and you’ll see that all Davis has is counting stats. Wiggins has led his team through injuries and team restructuring, and he’s playing out of his mind. He’s put himself in the hall of Bosh and Webber as genuine Timberwolves superstars. But at the end of the day it won’t matter, because the robot sees 40 points and goes crazy.

Wilbon: I have to admit I suffer from voter’s fatigue too, Tony. But I think the race should be more than a two man race. Ben Simmons, the man we’ll talk to later on this program, is shooting SIXTY PERCENT FROM THE FLOOR! And averaging 25 and 10 while leading the Sixers to a 50 win season. Davis is the likely choice, but I agree there’s more to life than 38 points on amazing efficiency.

Kornheiser: Do we sound old right now? I think we sound old.

Wilbon: You always sound old.

WOAH OH IT’S MAGIC? WHO KNOWS

Kornheiser: The Orlando Magic are tied with the Atlanta Hawks for the lead in the Southeast division, each having 50 wins with 9 left to go. With the Hawks it’s expected – Wig Nosy could cough up ten hairballs and coach them to 50 wins. But the Magic are good, and it’s hard to figure out why. They don’t have an All-Star, though you could argue DeSean Hawkins was an egregious sub.

Wilbon: Can and will!

Kornheiser: They don’t have a top ten offense. Their defense is seventh. They’re good, but Wilbon – why are they this good?

Wilbon: Defense and the offensive glass, Tone. You say seventh as if that’s a bad thing – they’re top 5 in defensive efficiency! And they’re outrebounding opponents on the offensive end by 4.5 a game. You can thank Fareid and Towers for that. And yes, Tony, Hawkins is an All-Star, despite how many great guards are in the East. 25 points a game, and he’s shooting NINE threes a game on a 40 percent clip! He’s keeping that team focused, and I think they’ll finish higher than the Hawks.

Kornheiser: It’s a good story, a nice one, and it led to our best headline today, so you’re not fired anymore Bernie. But I don’t trust the flashes in the pan. I trust the fires. And the Hawks have been burning for years. Give me the team that had three All Stars. Give me the team that has Wig Nosy.

Wilbon: That’s not even the question you asked.

Kornheiser: Time to distract Wilbon with a quick commercial break. We’ll be back in a minute to spend five good minutes with Ben Simmons of the Philadelphia 76ers.

Wilbon: Welcome back to PTI, we’re joined by Ben Simmons. Thanks for coming on, Ben.
Simmons: Thanks for having me.

Wilbon: Ben, four straight losses heading into a crucial part of the season. Are you worried about your team's performance?

Simmons: Worried isn't probably the right word. I think it's a refocus point for us. We walked through the first half of the season like a cake walk and didn't have adversity. And that's what the playoffs are all about, adversity. So now we're going to be tested to see what this team's about. I'm excited for the challenge, but it sucks to see Deso out for a while. We will figure it out. We've got the talent.

Kornheiser: This year both you and Van Grimaldi passed the 10k points mark to become the two all-time scoring leaders for Philadelphia. What does that mean to you, and how often do you tell Van that you're going to pass him?

Simmons: You know right now I’m 25 and I’m 2nd in the all time list in Philly. It doesn’t mean too much to me right now because there's just so much left to accomplish. We know Markelle will be the next guy at 10k with us. I think when we all retire we will have more time to talk about it and be extremely proud, but right now we've got so much in front of us, it's so hard to look back. About Grim? Man he know I’m coming. He’s got 135 more games and I'm only 220 behind him. With how he's blooming now, it's going to take a while to catch him though.

Wilbon: You’ll get him soon. Playoffs start soon, Ben. What teams in the Eastern conference playoff race do you think the Sixers match up best with?

Simmons: I like our matchup versus anyone. We got scoring in 3 spots. We've got rebound. We've got passing. We've got Defense. We're not all at the heights of our experience, but we have as much experience in the playoffs as any team. So i really like our odds. The thing is, you can't lose those home games like we've done in the past.

Kornheiser: Finally, you're in Philadelphia for at least a few more years. Do you feel happy in the city of Brotherly Love?

Simmons: Why wouldn't I be? We're in the playoffs each year. I'm in the All star game, I’m being selected to all league teams and I’m surrounded by 2 guys that are my age and blooming at the same time as me. I think the table is set, and it’s on us now.

Kornheiser: I was only asking because one time I got a flat tire in Philly and it was a bad experience for me. Thanks for your time, Ben. We’ll take another break, and then we’re back with Role Play.

Kornheiser: Welcome back to PTI. It’s time to Role Play. Mike, who am I?


Wilbon: You’re Suns GM Messi 2.0. You recently declined Kevin Love as well as Vucevic and Oladipo. Are you finally ready to declare the Love era in Phoenix over?

Kornheiser: Of course not. This isn’t goodbye, it’s “see you in a few months.” I’ve done this with teams for Love’s entire career. I’m not attached to Vucevic. Not attached to Dipo. I have forgotten more b/b complementary players than most GMs have ever had. I will go into next year with Angel Penrod’s 1.8M dollars on my books and nothing else, and I’ll target Wiggins, Duren, Lecroix, anyone with my mounds of cash to make another run with Love. And I’ll win another title, too, because I’m that damn good.

Wilbon: It’s risky, but it’s definitely worked before. Who am I?


Kornheiser: You’re Celtics guard Julio De La Rosa. You’re in your fifth year, and while you haven’t reached your immense potential yet, you clearly have the talent to play well. But for some reason you aren’t. You’re shooting sub 40 percent, almost four fouls a game, and you’re seventh on your team in scoring. Many GMs are worried you are a bust. Are you worried?

Wilbon: I can’t afford to be worried. The second I think about those doubts, the second it’s all over for me. I’m on a good team, and I’m only 24. I have time. And if Conroy waits on me, he’s going to get a gem. I’m so excited to prove everyone wrong in a few more years.

Kornheiser: A few years away from being a few years away. One more, who am I?


Wilbon: You’re Thunder GM Make It Rain. You haven’t been the most active member of the league, and right now there’s rumblings about contraction with your team atop the list. What will you do to make sure your team isn’t removed from the league.

Kornheiser: …

Wilbon: Well?

Kornheiser: …

Wilbon: Tony, you there?

Kornheiser: Sorry, I was just doing my best Make It Rain impression.

Tony tosses the mask.

Kornheiser: There’s no excuse. The guy doesn’t do anything. His team languishes. And with the struggle to find new managers of teams, we have to do something. It’s a blight. FIVE WINS. And not a peep! I’m not defending them at all. Okay, it’s time for the big finish.


Kornheiser: World B. Free sat out last season and is most likely going to be the Rookie of the Year. After Duren, Simmons, and Free, do you think it’s a good move.

Wilbon: Depends on the player, but if they’re young it makes sense to let them get a few training camps in before risking injury. The Bucks are 53-19 but don’t seem to be getting the attention they deserve. Unfair?

Kornheiser: Unfair and unwarranted, the Bucks are the team to beat in the league until they’re eliminated, they’re my pick to repeat. Chris Paul is out for the year with a severe concussion and he’s 37 years old. Has he played his last game?

Wilbon: Yeah, and it’s a shame he couldn’t go out on his own terms, the guy is a legend. The Rockets and Grizzlies are neck and neck for the division down the stretch, who you got?

Kornheiser: I got the team with the best player, which is Kyrie, so Go Grizz! We haven’t mentioned the Kings yet, are they going to make the finals this year?

Wilbon: It’s them or Utah and my money is on whichever team has NOLa as a GM.

Kornheiser: We’re out of time. Try to do better next time.

Wilbon: All right, knuckleheads. Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes.

Woman whisper: PTI…

Nice!!! I missed me some PTI

Yeah, always so goooood.

PTI here to bring the league back from the DED

Oh man this was great

+5 points, such an easy decision