Mad Money: PBSL Edition
Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 12:19 am
GOOD EVENING EVERYONE, I'M JIM CRAMER AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF MAD MONEY! TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO HIT THE FLOOR, BUT NOT THE TRADING FLOOR, THE HARDWOOD FLOOR! LET''S LOOK AT THE FINANCIAL HEALTH OF ALL THIRTY TEAMS IN THE LEAGUE USING THE S&P's CREDIT RATING SCALE. BOOYAH!
Atlanta Hawks
Current balance: 144 points
Rating: AAA
Even with a 51 point tax bill, it's the damned Hawks. Another deep playoff run, and it'll easily be paid off. It's good to be the Wig.
Boston Celtics
Current balance: 21 points
Rating: A
In spite of the dismal record, it looks like the Celtics are in good shape. They'll be auctioning off their cap space and it looks like quality content is coming out of Beantown, so look for the bank to be replenished. GM Conroy has cap space- expect him to auction it off for assets and points
Brooklyn Nets
Current balance: 72 points
Rating: AA
A nice amount of change saved here. The Nets have no tax concerns, and playoff berth would be a nice cherry on top. Maybe Buddy Pedraza can chip in with all his sweet endorsement money.
Charlotte Bobcats
Current balance: 2 points
Rating: A
Sure, the well is a bit dry right now. But there's plenty of cap space and no tax concerns here. Charlotte is in the process of accumulating points and assets, and as long as they remain patient, they'll be ok.
Chicago Bulls
Current balance: 33 points
Rating: A
In Garbage we trust- while the Bulls are a 4 year tax repeater, they can easily maneuver one tier lower to a bill of 39 points. GM garbageman produces high quality non-garbage content- expect him to hit the 25 point media cap easily. Coupled with his sim vegas responsibility and a winning team capable of a deep run, this organization is thriving in spite of the tax.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Current balance: 59 points
Rating: A
Poor in wins, rich in points. They're to even that poor in points- they're only a 1.5 games back of the eight spot in the East. The prudent thing might be to sell off the expensive assets and keep on with the rebuild.
Dallas Mavericks
Current balance: 0 points
Rating: B
Oh boy, Big D is in big dog doo right now- they'd be in line for a 13 point bill and they're out of the playoff race. BUT, if management is alert, they'll easily be able to duck the tax this year.
Denver Nuggets
Current balance: 7 points
Rating: CCC
Man, whoever is minding the books must be enjoying that legal marijuana in the Rockies- the Nuggets are in line to owe 70 points! They've looked shaky this season, but I think they're record is obscuring how good this team is. They'll have some more home games to move up in the seedlings, but a deep playoff run with some quality content might get them on the right side of the ledger.
Detroit Pistons
Current balance: 40 points
Rating: AA
Anthony Davis cures all- that and a new, active regime in place. The Pistons will make the playoffs easily, and the points will be rolling in.
Golden State Warriors
Current balance: 92 points
Rating: A
The worries here are a 57 point tax and salaries that will only be heftier next season. But hey, they're the best team in the league and a Finals appearance has already been guaranteed by many media members. Tomorrow's bill is a problem for tomorrow's GM.
Houston Rockets
Current balance: 0 points
Rating: CC
As a 4 year repeater, they've got a 55 point bill due- YIKES! But things may finally be turning around in Clutch City- it looks like they may return to the playoffs. With some luck and some content, they may stay out of debt.
Los Angeles Clippers
Current balance: 68 points
Rating: BBB
The Clippers have really turned things around since the new year. Even with a 23 point tax bill, there are no worries with a healthy KD. They'll make a deep run and pay their tax easily. Hibbert's free agency could be costly, but that's a concern for,next year.
Los Angeles Lakers
Current balance: 7 points
Rating: B
Showtime? More like Show me the money time. The preseason darlings have become regular season punks. They're in line for a 9 point tax bill. They'll be able to pay be season's end, but it would help their wallet and their on court product if they moved one of their point guards, Perkins, or Cousins.
Miami Heat
Current balance: 12 points
Rating: A
From the dizzying highs to the crestfallen lows, the Heat have begun rebuilding. With that comes a tax reset. With a little over $5 million in space left, that could become a useful chip to add some points. It might be a while before the Heat have to worry about the tax again; they have plenty of time to refill the bank.
Milwaukee Bucks
Current balance: 17 points
Rating: BBB
The balance is low here, but the Bucks have positioned themselves to get under the apron. A deep run in the playoffs is likely, and coupled with a history of quality content, the coffers should be replenished shortly.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Current balance: 29 points
Rating: A
Yeah, they've got a 32 point bill due. But the Wolves are BACK! A return to the playoffs will ensure a surplus of points (and a joint media production with the mamangement in Chicago would help). With Bosh off the books next season, they might even be able to hit the tax reset button next year.
New York Knicks
Current balance: 43 points
Rating: BBB
The only concern here is a hefty tax bill in the horizon. 42 points is a expensive, but it's safe to say another winning season and a playoff push will replenish the bank. If only they had a rich cable tv magnate/aspiring musician as owner to take care of the bills.
New Orleans Pelicans
Current balance: 34 points
Rating: A
Sure, they have a 27 point tax bill, but you know what they say (and by they, I mean me). DON'T BET AGAINST LEBRON. The Pelicans are climbing the playoff ladder and I'd expect them to be in the thick of things come May. Having LeBron means the points ROLLING in- at least for this season.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Current balance: 2 points
Rating: BB
This team makes me uncomfortable. They've slid down the standings and are facing a 10 point tax. They'll be able to pay come the end of rye season, but moving one of their surplus big men would help everyone involved breath a little easier.
Orlando Magic
Current balance: 28 points
Rating: BBB
The Magic are hovering near the tax, but expect them to maneuver out of it and possibly take on salary for points. The main concern internally is the points allocated towards training- the bills are adding up and management is concerned.
Philadelphia 76ers
Current balance: 39 points
Rating: A
My hometown team is in good shape, even with a 6 point bill. The management has a bright future in place, and is even contending for a playoff spot. Some media appearances will help- especially with the training bill for KenHenBenSim in the future.
Phoenix Suns
Current balance: 324 points
Rating: AAA
324 points! The Suns have no tax concerns and have a little over $7 million in cap room, and have already made it known they're selling off the space. The Iron Bank is real, and it's in Phoenix.
Portland Trailblazers
Current balance: 38 points
Rating: AA
The blowup is on in Portland. They're under the cap, so expect some point wrangling to happen here. I'd also expect some quality content from kucoach to add to the bank.
Sacramento Kings
Current balance: 46 points
Rating: A
The Kings are stuck in the middle- they could use their remaining cap space to add salary or sell it off for points. There are no tax concerns at the moment and you can count on Tani to crank out some content. Costs for training could add up though.
San Antonio Spurs
Current balance: 40 points
Rating: BBB
Things are looking good for Westbrook and company. They'll brush aside the 15 point tax, and maybe relieve glory days in the playoffs. Next year could be dicey though- Westbrook and Schroder will be looking to get paid, and Josh Smith isn't going antywhere.
Toronto Raptors
Current balance: 13 points
Rating: C
A 3 year repeater tax bill is the problem here- the Raptors are due to pay 86 points and missing the playoffs is a real possibility.
Hopefully, they can right the ship and make the playoffs, but I wouldn't loan the Canucks any points and expect to get them back.
Utah Jazz
Current balance: 16 points
Rating: CC
A 31 point tax bill is incoming, and the Jazz are on the outside looking into the playoffs right now. Time for some content, Gary! Or y'know, get back to winning ways.
VanMemphis Grizzlies
Current balance: 0 points
Rating: C
I gotta tell you, things don't look good here. There's a 119 point tax bill due at the end of the year, and they would be out of the playoffs right now. Exacerbating matters is next year's salaries remains well over $100 million dollars. These guys are going to need a gofundme to pay their taxes.
Washington Wizards
Current balance: 4 points
Rating: A
The new management in DC is really "draining the swamp"... of salaries! The Wizards deftly maneuvered their way out of the tax and have begun their rebuild with giants. Maybe the Tower Boys will be able to spot some loose change on the ground.
Disclaimer: Past performance is not indicative of future results. Neither Cramer nor CNBC guarantees any specific outcome or profit.
Atlanta Hawks
Current balance: 144 points
Rating: AAA
Even with a 51 point tax bill, it's the damned Hawks. Another deep playoff run, and it'll easily be paid off. It's good to be the Wig.
Boston Celtics
Current balance: 21 points
Rating: A
In spite of the dismal record, it looks like the Celtics are in good shape. They'll be auctioning off their cap space and it looks like quality content is coming out of Beantown, so look for the bank to be replenished. GM Conroy has cap space- expect him to auction it off for assets and points
Brooklyn Nets
Current balance: 72 points
Rating: AA
A nice amount of change saved here. The Nets have no tax concerns, and playoff berth would be a nice cherry on top. Maybe Buddy Pedraza can chip in with all his sweet endorsement money.
Charlotte Bobcats
Current balance: 2 points
Rating: A
Sure, the well is a bit dry right now. But there's plenty of cap space and no tax concerns here. Charlotte is in the process of accumulating points and assets, and as long as they remain patient, they'll be ok.
Chicago Bulls
Current balance: 33 points
Rating: A
In Garbage we trust- while the Bulls are a 4 year tax repeater, they can easily maneuver one tier lower to a bill of 39 points. GM garbageman produces high quality non-garbage content- expect him to hit the 25 point media cap easily. Coupled with his sim vegas responsibility and a winning team capable of a deep run, this organization is thriving in spite of the tax.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Current balance: 59 points
Rating: A
Poor in wins, rich in points. They're to even that poor in points- they're only a 1.5 games back of the eight spot in the East. The prudent thing might be to sell off the expensive assets and keep on with the rebuild.
Dallas Mavericks
Current balance: 0 points
Rating: B
Oh boy, Big D is in big dog doo right now- they'd be in line for a 13 point bill and they're out of the playoff race. BUT, if management is alert, they'll easily be able to duck the tax this year.
Denver Nuggets
Current balance: 7 points
Rating: CCC
Man, whoever is minding the books must be enjoying that legal marijuana in the Rockies- the Nuggets are in line to owe 70 points! They've looked shaky this season, but I think they're record is obscuring how good this team is. They'll have some more home games to move up in the seedlings, but a deep playoff run with some quality content might get them on the right side of the ledger.
Detroit Pistons
Current balance: 40 points
Rating: AA
Anthony Davis cures all- that and a new, active regime in place. The Pistons will make the playoffs easily, and the points will be rolling in.
Golden State Warriors
Current balance: 92 points
Rating: A
The worries here are a 57 point tax and salaries that will only be heftier next season. But hey, they're the best team in the league and a Finals appearance has already been guaranteed by many media members. Tomorrow's bill is a problem for tomorrow's GM.
Houston Rockets
Current balance: 0 points
Rating: CC
As a 4 year repeater, they've got a 55 point bill due- YIKES! But things may finally be turning around in Clutch City- it looks like they may return to the playoffs. With some luck and some content, they may stay out of debt.
Los Angeles Clippers
Current balance: 68 points
Rating: BBB
The Clippers have really turned things around since the new year. Even with a 23 point tax bill, there are no worries with a healthy KD. They'll make a deep run and pay their tax easily. Hibbert's free agency could be costly, but that's a concern for,next year.
Los Angeles Lakers
Current balance: 7 points
Rating: B
Showtime? More like Show me the money time. The preseason darlings have become regular season punks. They're in line for a 9 point tax bill. They'll be able to pay be season's end, but it would help their wallet and their on court product if they moved one of their point guards, Perkins, or Cousins.
Miami Heat
Current balance: 12 points
Rating: A
From the dizzying highs to the crestfallen lows, the Heat have begun rebuilding. With that comes a tax reset. With a little over $5 million in space left, that could become a useful chip to add some points. It might be a while before the Heat have to worry about the tax again; they have plenty of time to refill the bank.
Milwaukee Bucks
Current balance: 17 points
Rating: BBB
The balance is low here, but the Bucks have positioned themselves to get under the apron. A deep run in the playoffs is likely, and coupled with a history of quality content, the coffers should be replenished shortly.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Current balance: 29 points
Rating: A
Yeah, they've got a 32 point bill due. But the Wolves are BACK! A return to the playoffs will ensure a surplus of points (and a joint media production with the mamangement in Chicago would help). With Bosh off the books next season, they might even be able to hit the tax reset button next year.
New York Knicks
Current balance: 43 points
Rating: BBB
The only concern here is a hefty tax bill in the horizon. 42 points is a expensive, but it's safe to say another winning season and a playoff push will replenish the bank. If only they had a rich cable tv magnate/aspiring musician as owner to take care of the bills.
New Orleans Pelicans
Current balance: 34 points
Rating: A
Sure, they have a 27 point tax bill, but you know what they say (and by they, I mean me). DON'T BET AGAINST LEBRON. The Pelicans are climbing the playoff ladder and I'd expect them to be in the thick of things come May. Having LeBron means the points ROLLING in- at least for this season.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Current balance: 2 points
Rating: BB
This team makes me uncomfortable. They've slid down the standings and are facing a 10 point tax. They'll be able to pay come the end of rye season, but moving one of their surplus big men would help everyone involved breath a little easier.
Orlando Magic
Current balance: 28 points
Rating: BBB
The Magic are hovering near the tax, but expect them to maneuver out of it and possibly take on salary for points. The main concern internally is the points allocated towards training- the bills are adding up and management is concerned.
Philadelphia 76ers
Current balance: 39 points
Rating: A
My hometown team is in good shape, even with a 6 point bill. The management has a bright future in place, and is even contending for a playoff spot. Some media appearances will help- especially with the training bill for KenHenBenSim in the future.
Phoenix Suns
Current balance: 324 points
Rating: AAA
324 points! The Suns have no tax concerns and have a little over $7 million in cap room, and have already made it known they're selling off the space. The Iron Bank is real, and it's in Phoenix.
Portland Trailblazers
Current balance: 38 points
Rating: AA
The blowup is on in Portland. They're under the cap, so expect some point wrangling to happen here. I'd also expect some quality content from kucoach to add to the bank.
Sacramento Kings
Current balance: 46 points
Rating: A
The Kings are stuck in the middle- they could use their remaining cap space to add salary or sell it off for points. There are no tax concerns at the moment and you can count on Tani to crank out some content. Costs for training could add up though.
San Antonio Spurs
Current balance: 40 points
Rating: BBB
Things are looking good for Westbrook and company. They'll brush aside the 15 point tax, and maybe relieve glory days in the playoffs. Next year could be dicey though- Westbrook and Schroder will be looking to get paid, and Josh Smith isn't going antywhere.
Toronto Raptors
Current balance: 13 points
Rating: C
A 3 year repeater tax bill is the problem here- the Raptors are due to pay 86 points and missing the playoffs is a real possibility.
Hopefully, they can right the ship and make the playoffs, but I wouldn't loan the Canucks any points and expect to get them back.
Utah Jazz
Current balance: 16 points
Rating: CC
A 31 point tax bill is incoming, and the Jazz are on the outside looking into the playoffs right now. Time for some content, Gary! Or y'know, get back to winning ways.
VanMemphis Grizzlies
Current balance: 0 points
Rating: C
I gotta tell you, things don't look good here. There's a 119 point tax bill due at the end of the year, and they would be out of the playoffs right now. Exacerbating matters is next year's salaries remains well over $100 million dollars. These guys are going to need a gofundme to pay their taxes.
Washington Wizards
Current balance: 4 points
Rating: A
The new management in DC is really "draining the swamp"... of salaries! The Wizards deftly maneuvered their way out of the tax and have begun their rebuild with giants. Maybe the Tower Boys will be able to spot some loose change on the ground.
Disclaimer: Past performance is not indicative of future results. Neither Cramer nor CNBC guarantees any specific outcome or profit.
ONLY 1 a?!?!?