Inaugural Garbage Time All Stars
Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:48 pm
As we find ourselves in the thick of the star-laden playoffs, it's time to take a moment to reflect. Sometimes in life, you try your best but don't succeed. Sometimes, there are medal recipients for 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and "Participant." Let's tip our glasses to those tireless workers, the chuckers, and the stat padders who found themselves on the beaches of Cancun in April. It’s time for the inaugural Garbage Time all stars! Here are the rules we’re working under:
Starters
Center: Spencer Hawes, Celtics
The Celtics just missed out on the playoffs, but through no fault of this man. A career year in PPG, rebounds, and efficiency, this unrestricted free agent in waiting will surely cash in.
Power Forward: Tristan Thompson, Nets
Possibly miscast next to the Ka(ve)man, Thompson was close to averaging a double-double. Entering restricted free agency, one wonders who will be the team willing to overpay him.
Small Forward: Kyle Singler, Pistons
Living proof that second round picks are worthwhile. Singler’s contract raised some eyebrows in the offseason, but shooting at a .421 clip from the arc can't be ignored.
Shooting Guard: Reggie Jackson, Kings
When you get you chance, you have to shoot your shot. After the Kings blew it up, Jackson had his chance to shine. An increase in minutes led to career highs across the board. Another player entering restricted free agency, he is sure to draw some offers.
Point Guard: Brandon Jennings, Lakers
Jennings must throw his remote at the TV when he sees Goran and LeBron together. Well, a career high 22.1 ppg and a PER of 20.1 has to ease the pain. The Lakers have a talented young core, so maybe Jennings can guarantee “Lakers in 6” sooner rather than later.
Bench
Brook Lopez, Timberwolves
The offensive yin to Rudy Gobert’s defensive yang, Brook Lopez scored 15.1 PPG off the bench. Will the 6th Man of the year candidate find himself on the move in the offseason?
Ike Diogu, Magic
We like Ike! Poor, poor Ike, going from the tan-filled beaches of Miami to the smoldering ruins of the Epcot Center. He fought the good fight though, putting up a PER of 19.8 off the bench.
Ronnie Brewer, Clippers
A consummate professional, he had another solid defensive. More surprisingly, he had career highs 33% from 3 and TS% of 47%. He’s like a cheap wine that still very drinkable after all these years.
Tony Allen, Grizzles
Trick or treat Tony is still a lock down defender. He had a career high in steals and put up a DEFF of 99.5. While he's up there in age, he should find a spot on a contender's bench next season.
Jarrett Jack, Hornets
In limited action this season, Jack was the closest thing to a true point guard for the Hornets. A PER of 18.5 shows he still deserves a spot in the league.
Tim "Autopick" Hardaway Jr., Pistons
SMALL SAMPLE SIZE ALERT! He only played 222 minutes this season BUT per 36 would have averaged 17.4 PPG. The 8th pick from the 2013 draft hasn't had much of a chance, but maybe there's something there. Or maybe he'll be balling for Besiktas in a few years.
Sim Bhullar, Magic
He’s tall! He also averaged 2.2 blocks per 36 min. Did I mention he’s tall?
Note: If I figure out how the hell to post tables, I'll update with individual stats later.
- Not in the playoffs, duh
- Constructing a real-ish team, starters and bench
- No stars or stars-to-be: yes, Kevin Durant and Anthony Davis are awesome, and Andrew Wiggins looks promising. They're supposed to be good!
Starters
Center: Spencer Hawes, Celtics
The Celtics just missed out on the playoffs, but through no fault of this man. A career year in PPG, rebounds, and efficiency, this unrestricted free agent in waiting will surely cash in.
Power Forward: Tristan Thompson, Nets
Possibly miscast next to the Ka(ve)man, Thompson was close to averaging a double-double. Entering restricted free agency, one wonders who will be the team willing to overpay him.
Small Forward: Kyle Singler, Pistons
Living proof that second round picks are worthwhile. Singler’s contract raised some eyebrows in the offseason, but shooting at a .421 clip from the arc can't be ignored.
Shooting Guard: Reggie Jackson, Kings
When you get you chance, you have to shoot your shot. After the Kings blew it up, Jackson had his chance to shine. An increase in minutes led to career highs across the board. Another player entering restricted free agency, he is sure to draw some offers.
Point Guard: Brandon Jennings, Lakers
Jennings must throw his remote at the TV when he sees Goran and LeBron together. Well, a career high 22.1 ppg and a PER of 20.1 has to ease the pain. The Lakers have a talented young core, so maybe Jennings can guarantee “Lakers in 6” sooner rather than later.
Bench
Brook Lopez, Timberwolves
The offensive yin to Rudy Gobert’s defensive yang, Brook Lopez scored 15.1 PPG off the bench. Will the 6th Man of the year candidate find himself on the move in the offseason?
Ike Diogu, Magic
We like Ike! Poor, poor Ike, going from the tan-filled beaches of Miami to the smoldering ruins of the Epcot Center. He fought the good fight though, putting up a PER of 19.8 off the bench.
Ronnie Brewer, Clippers
A consummate professional, he had another solid defensive. More surprisingly, he had career highs 33% from 3 and TS% of 47%. He’s like a cheap wine that still very drinkable after all these years.
Tony Allen, Grizzles
Trick or treat Tony is still a lock down defender. He had a career high in steals and put up a DEFF of 99.5. While he's up there in age, he should find a spot on a contender's bench next season.
Jarrett Jack, Hornets
In limited action this season, Jack was the closest thing to a true point guard for the Hornets. A PER of 18.5 shows he still deserves a spot in the league.
Tim "Autopick" Hardaway Jr., Pistons
SMALL SAMPLE SIZE ALERT! He only played 222 minutes this season BUT per 36 would have averaged 17.4 PPG. The 8th pick from the 2013 draft hasn't had much of a chance, but maybe there's something there. Or maybe he'll be balling for Besiktas in a few years.
Sim Bhullar, Magic
He’s tall! He also averaged 2.2 blocks per 36 min. Did I mention he’s tall?
Note: If I figure out how the hell to post tables, I'll update with individual stats later.