Utah Jazz: Paul George Injury Press Conference
Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 3:43 pm
Members of the media are still filing in as Digiskunk walks up to the podium, calmly sorting through the notes he's written in his playbook. The young, hopeful general manager, who's already accomplished much during his brief tenure as Jazz general manager, patiently awaits everybody to take their seat as he prepares for yet another press conference.
Digiskunk: Thank you, everybody, for arriving on such short notice. As you all know, seasons are filled with ups and downs; they're filled with trials and tribulations, and it's vital that we overcome such difficulties if we wish to succeed — if we wish to strive for true greatness. Unfortunately, we lost our star forward Paul George to an injury last week, which will sideline him for roughly 30 days. I'm here to let you all know what our plans are heading forward.
Cameras flash as a shadowy, hooded figure stands up in the background and slowly walks toward the podium. By god, is that Caron Butler's music?
Digiskunk: Losing a player of Paul George's caliber is always a great loss, and indeed tough to overcome. But fortunately, I was able to acquire some talent prior to the trade deadline to help out in case of an emergency. And so, we'll be making some immediate changes to the depth chart for the time being — at least until Paul George is ready to play again.
The shadowy, hooded figure now stands next to Digiskunk at the podium. As Digiskunk steps down, the figure takes the microphone and takes off his hood. It's Caron Butler.
Caron Butler: Wassup y'all, it's ya boi C-B. I'll be your new starting small forward until Paul heals up. Don't worry, I've been in this position before and I know exactly what I'm doing. It's never easy having to replace a player like Paul, but I've been here before, trust me. I don't plan on letting you down.
Caron Butler: I've overcome a lot of obstacles in my life. I grew up in a broken home, raised by a single mother who had to work 3 jobs and hustle GameBoy Colors on the street corner just to have enough money to pay rent. I was a volunteer firefighter on 9/11 and served on the frontlines in the War on Terror when my nation called upon me. And now, my team is calling upon me to step up. Look at me— I said, look at me goddamnit. I'm Paul George now. When times get tough, I get tougher, and I overcome. And with that, peace out.
Caron Butler puts his hood back on and calmly walks out of the room with a slight stagger to his step. He's feeling confident, and he damn well shows it. But how will this all translate on the basketball court? Only time can tell...
