#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

From the journal of Xist2inspire, in the year 2000:

Darn it, they're gonna hate me for this...

...I seem to have made a terrible mistake. They didn't notice (but I did) that not too long after posting my Countdown to Y2K: A Sim League Retrospective article, two of the "Franchise Players of the Decade," Shaquille O'Neal and Latrell Sprewell, were sent packing. At first I found it a bit shocking, yes, but ultimately thought it was no big deal. But then, right at the start of the 2000 offseason, something horrible happened. 3 more "Frachise Players of the Decade" - Shawn Kemp, Chris Webber, and OPenny Hardaway - found themselves on the trading block. It then became crystal clear to me that I had unwittingly unleashed a horrible curse upon the league. Yes, in this universe, the Y2K bug, the apocalypse, is real - and I started it. Oops. Even though I cannot change the hand of fate, I can at least attempt to identify those who may be afflicted by the curse...so I can get in on the action this time. Hell, why should Quail and Wig have all the fun anyway?

Alonzo Mourning, Boston Celtics
I'm sick of this guy's face. He's been making this division miserable since Day 1. I'm glad I didn't have to look at his ugly mug in Game 7, because I just know he would've beaten the crap outta me. Nothing would please me more if it turned out that he was cursed, but unfortunately I don't think so. Conroy has Christie for 2 years after this one, and a purple/purple isn't likely to have a hard decline in that span of time. As long as Zo doesn't ask for a crazy extension and Brandon opts in for next season, Zo's probably gonna be around for a few more years. Damn.
Status: Not Cursed

Kobe Bryant, Chicago Bulls
Wonder why his potential took a dip. These color ratings confuse me sometimes. I'm not sure about Kobe's future, new GM's tend to put their own stamp on things, and I'm not quite sure how Jackson fits into the Tim Thomas/Kobe/Strickland equation. One thing's for sure though, one of those guys is history, probably Strickland. Kobe's gonna stay off of name value alone, I guess. I might make a run at him, though. It'd be funny if I ended up with him, since he was on the Wizards in the old league.
Status: Not Cursed

Penny Hardaway, Dallas Mavericks
I can't believe this s***. After all this time trying to stay focused and tread slowly, the player I've tried to get from Darth since Day 1 gets put up for trade. These new GMs, I swear...I'm not sure he knows what he's doing. Likewise, I don't think any of us have gotten over the shock of seeing that post. I'm not sure any of us are merciless enough to smoke this guy...nah, I take it back. Balls will. Wave too. Hopefully the poor guy can sense that the general reaction to this is:



...and back off before he gets traped hard. I mean, if you're gonna trade the goddamn MVP, at least wait until he's an expiring! Penny's days are numbered anyway now, he'll either cave in from the barrage of trade offers or say "eff it" and let him walk in FA rather than hand out another Kemp contract.

Status: Cursed *Resists urge to trade half of my team for him*

Clarence Weatherspoon, Denver Nuggets
Why did I put this guy as the Nuggets' most impactful player for the decade? I really must've been stretching for that one. Writer's block, I guess. The only way he's coming back is if nobody else really wants him, which is actually quite possible. I get the feeling Syndicate's a bit worn out from his recent run, and I can't blame him. I'm not sure if any of last season's guys are going to be back in Denver for Training Camp.
Status: Cursed (but does anyone care?)

Shawn Kemp, Golden State Warriors
Bow's probably tired of performing cap wizardry every season, and is trying to sell while his stock's still high. I believe him when he says he's fine with keeping Kemp, Sabonis and Ceballos are expirings, and Kemp's ratings are so high that he could lose 30-40 points a season and still be a 15+ ppg scorer at the end of his contract. The reason why someone would want him is also the reason why Bow can just sit back, keep making the Pacific miserable, and wait until a can't-miss offer comes around or when he gets some cap room to work with.
Status: Not Cursed

Gary Payton, Miami Heat
LogP's never really shopped Payton before, now that I think of it. Even when he was looking at making moves last season, Jackson was the big name on the block, not GP. I'm guessing that means that Payton's here for the long haul, though I do wonder what will happen if Jackson doesn't come back...which could very well come to pass.
Status: Not Cursed (for now)

Jalen Rose, Milwaukee Bucks
Quail likes to stress that anyone's available for the right price, so I guess Jalen counts? I dunno. I don't think he's going anywhere, though. He's kinda like GP, in that he won't be moved unless his teammate (in this case Shaq) doesn't return for some reason. And with all of the cap space he's clearing, I think Quail's gearing up for another run no matter what.
Status: Not Cursed

Chris Webber, Minnesota Timberwolves
Apparently Chris just wrote a short piece for The Star Tribune acknowledging the trade rumors. Yeah, he's history. I was really hoping that that team would stay together, but now that Grant's gone (and to frickin' Atlanta of all places), it makes no sense to keep him. I'm wondering how long it'll be before a trade is announced, though. I was extremely lucky to find a last-second deal for Juwan last season, and the market's even worse now than it was back then. Granted, Webber's waaaaayyyy better than Juwan, but still...
Status: Cursed

Isaiah "JR" Rider, New Jersey Nets
I think this is the last one...yeah, he is. Is he an expiring? Oh yeah, he's gone. RPF just put the whole team on the block, I think he's gonna pull out all the stops to keep Antoine and rebuild the team around him. That'll leave JR on the outside looking in, and I think RPF's gonna shop him hard to try and avoid losing him for nothing in FA next season.
Status: Cursed

Okay, so that's 4 cursed players to 5 non-cursed...that's not TOO bad. Oh wait, once I count Shaq & Spree, that makes it 6 to 5. Shoot, looks like I really did unleash the Y2K bug on the league, those GMs are gonna be pissed if they find out...I'd better keep my mouth shut, and not try to go after any of these guys, because that might raise some suspicions. I'll have to be more careful once 2010 and the 20th season of Sim League rolls around. The last thing I wanna do is cause another disaster.

*Sigh*

...man, I hope nobody else ever finds and reads this.

<End of journal entry>