Last-Second Wiz Presser
Posted: Mon May 15, 2017 12:16 pm
Last Night...
The season starts tomorrow? WHAT! Omigawd, I have to get a press conference together, call the team together for a meeting, make sure all the promotions are lined up, review...our plans......for the season, go......to.........sleep..........
As you can see, I wasn't feeling it
Today...
*yawns* Good afternoon...I think...and welcome to yet another Wizards preseason presser, where I recap last season's failures, tear our lazy-ass players a new one, and make empty promises for the upcoming season.
Yup, it's gonna be another one of THOSE pressers
First off, last season. While we were positive headed in, it's safe to say that none of us expected to post the second-best record in recent franchise history. We're really proud of the way everyone came together as one to make last season special. Having a truly balanced roster with multiple efficient contributors is what we'd hoped to build post-Rashard, and it was beyond wonderful to see it in action. I'd also like to take the time to thank the rest of the league for making me the first back-to-back GMOY in league history.
Seriously, I was like this practically all of the regular season
Needless to say, we won the division and entered the playoffs as the 2nd seed.
Random Reporter: Yes, I think all of us want to hear your thoughts on the postseason.
Oh really? Too bad.
We don't talk about second-round exits here
In the offseason, we pretty much knew coming in that Tracy wasn't coming back. Oh, we put on a confident face, but even if he was to return, we'd have to trade him. Tracy's an awesome player and all-time great, but Father Time was going to make sure that he couldn't play backup PG anymore. So thanks for the memories, T-Mac.
Have some nightmare fuel on the way out
Second, we knew that if we wanted to grab just one of the guys we'd scouted, we'd have to pay out the nose to do so. Though given our dismal draft history, I'm not quite sure why we bothered. Anyway, we welcome Furkan Aldemir to DC, and we hope Ersan can translate for you. Now, on to Free Agency...
...oh, right. We'd like to thank Lorenzo Brown and Jon Leuer for agreeing to work for peanuts. We'd also like to welcome back Kosta Koufos and Cory Joseph, though we never thought we'd see them again. We'd like to congratulate Andris Biedrins for getting paid, not by us, but money's money. And we'd like to wish Jarrett Jack the best, because after all we've put him through, he deserves to ring chase.
"Yeah, good luck with your sinking ship bro...I'm heading to Denver"
So it wasn't long after the UFA period ended that we heard that two of our players, Alexey Shved and Yi Jianlian, had spent the entire offseason partying in their respective countries and showed up to camp in the infamous "no condition to perform" state. Given that they were both to play critical roles for us this season, we naturally took this news in a calm, professional manner.
Yup, perfectly calm here
Given the many tales of my wrathful vengeance towards training camp flameouts, I'm surprised this keeps happening, but oh well. The preseason is the last you'll see of Yi and Alexey in DC.
You're damn right I'm salty
But despite my bitching, things weren't really all that bad. The core is still intact, Tyreke's continued to improve and work hard to lead our team, and our FA signings have shown promise, if not for results now, then results later. This is the season where we see how our guys perform as THE guys. No lowered expectations, no hand-holding from PBSL legends off the bench. We're hoping to mirror, if not completely match, last season's success (meaning a Division title), and as for the postseason...ahh, to hell with the postseason. Questions?
The season starts tomorrow? WHAT! Omigawd, I have to get a press conference together, call the team together for a meeting, make sure all the promotions are lined up, review...our plans......for the season, go......to.........sleep..........As you can see, I wasn't feeling it
Today...
*yawns* Good afternoon...I think...and welcome to yet another Wizards preseason presser, where I recap last season's failures, tear our lazy-ass players a new one, and make empty promises for the upcoming season.
Yup, it's gonna be another one of THOSE pressers
First off, last season. While we were positive headed in, it's safe to say that none of us expected to post the second-best record in recent franchise history. We're really proud of the way everyone came together as one to make last season special. Having a truly balanced roster with multiple efficient contributors is what we'd hoped to build post-Rashard, and it was beyond wonderful to see it in action. I'd also like to take the time to thank the rest of the league for making me the first back-to-back GMOY in league history.Seriously, I was like this practically all of the regular season
Needless to say, we won the division and entered the playoffs as the 2nd seed.Random Reporter: Yes, I think all of us want to hear your thoughts on the postseason.
Oh really? Too bad.We don't talk about second-round exits here
In the offseason, we pretty much knew coming in that Tracy wasn't coming back. Oh, we put on a confident face, but even if he was to return, we'd have to trade him. Tracy's an awesome player and all-time great, but Father Time was going to make sure that he couldn't play backup PG anymore. So thanks for the memories, T-Mac.Have some nightmare fuel on the way out
Second, we knew that if we wanted to grab just one of the guys we'd scouted, we'd have to pay out the nose to do so. Though given our dismal draft history, I'm not quite sure why we bothered. Anyway, we welcome Furkan Aldemir to DC, and we hope Ersan can translate for you. Now, on to Free Agency... ...oh, right. We'd like to thank Lorenzo Brown and Jon Leuer for agreeing to work for peanuts. We'd also like to welcome back Kosta Koufos and Cory Joseph, though we never thought we'd see them again. We'd like to congratulate Andris Biedrins for getting paid, not by us, but money's money. And we'd like to wish Jarrett Jack the best, because after all we've put him through, he deserves to ring chase."Yeah, good luck with your sinking ship bro...I'm heading to Denver"
So it wasn't long after the UFA period ended that we heard that two of our players, Alexey Shved and Yi Jianlian, had spent the entire offseason partying in their respective countries and showed up to camp in the infamous "no condition to perform" state. Given that they were both to play critical roles for us this season, we naturally took this news in a calm, professional manner.Yup, perfectly calm here
Given the many tales of my wrathful vengeance towards training camp flameouts, I'm surprised this keeps happening, but oh well. The preseason is the last you'll see of Yi and Alexey in DC.You're damn right I'm salty
But despite my bitching, things weren't really all that bad. The core is still intact, Tyreke's continued to improve and work hard to lead our team, and our FA signings have shown promise, if not for results now, then results later. This is the season where we see how our guys perform as THE guys. No lowered expectations, no hand-holding from PBSL legends off the bench. We're hoping to mirror, if not completely match, last season's success (meaning a Division title), and as for the postseason...ahh, to hell with the postseason. Questions? 