Your Yearly .gif-filled Wiz Press Conference

[Xist2Inspire]

Welcome once again. As usual, we'll start with a recap of last season. While we were optimistic heading into last season, we never thought that we'd go from a 9th-place finish to a 4th-place finish in a single year. Everyone did their part, and we saw improvements from just about everyone where it really matters - on the court. We were confident heading into our first-round matchup with the Cavs, as we felt we had matchups we could exploit, and did well against them in the regular season. That...was a mistake. Not only did they take Game 1 in our house, but they demolished us in the 3 games we played in their building. 1 + 3 = 4, bye-bye Wizards, thanks for participating.


"This...is...CLEVELAAAAND"

Even so, we headed into the offseason satisfied with what we'd accomplished, and we were looking forward to adding another piece in the draft. That...was another mistake.


A visual representation of us trying to decide who to draft

Sorry DC faithful, but the tradition continues, no new rookie this season. In a draft like that, trading out is not just an option, but the primary option. So, we took the cash and split. On to Free Agency!


We really couldn't get out of there fast enough

The first order of business was retaining Tyreke. He'd grown a lot in his time here, and his strong playoff performance coming off a minor injury only cemented our desire to retain him at all costs. Still, we had to keep our finances in mind, and thus decided not to give him the supermax. While he understood, he still wanted max money, and thus signed New Orleans' offer sheet instead. At least, that's what we think his reasoning was. If not, too bad, because we matched him anyway.


RFA rights, sucka

Next was re-signing Gerald...and Jarrett...and then try to sign some form of bench help after the resulting cap hit had crushed us under its mighty weight. Jarrett, bless his heart, re-signed with us a for a discount, and I had just dropped off the paperwork for Gerald's new deal when I received a call from Tracy McGrady's agent, saying that he'd be signing with us.


"...hello?"

Speaking of which, why did you sign with us?

Well, the Wizards are kinda like a paid vacation for Kings players. I mean, you even signed Karl Malone in 2000, what was up with that? Plus I heard Rashard was pissed, which pleases me greatly. You'll always be the second-best player of the 2000s, homie!

...I see. Well anyway, we're very glad to have you, as well as our other veteran FA signing, Charlie Villanueva. Moving on to the last part of the offseason, training camp. Nearly everyone saw some form of improvement, but the big star this time around was Luc Long-Ass-Name, who worked very hard to turn himself into the rebounding and defensive presence that we lacked. Unfortunately, JaVale skipped all of training camp, choosing to take a vacation in New York instead, where he spent most of his time engaging in a Twitter war with former Wizard Shaquille O'Neal. As memories of Joe Smith, Tony Battie, Ron Mercer, and Vladimir Radmanovic danced through our heads, we called JaVale and told him that since he liked New York so much, we'd reached a deal to send him to the Knicks. Due to league rules, the trade will not be finalized until a few months in, meaning JaVale will have plenty of time to watch our games in his hotel room.


You had your chance.

And so ends another Wizards offseason. History shows that good things are usually around the corner whenever we have a young roster that quickly gains playoff experience, and I feel that we're in a great position to continue that trend. Our preseason only strengthened that feeling, despite our coaching staff COMPLETELY LOSING THEIR DAMNED MINDS in terms of lineups.


My interpretation of how our preseason lineup was set

It feels like we've put together a quality team, our best since 2004. I'd also like to thank the league for acknowledging the work that was done to get here by voting me co-GM of the year alongside our league champion aburns. We're really looking forward to what this season has in store for us...and we're not the only ones. NBA offices have already sent me a message.


*sigh*

[TheSyndicate]

Woody Paige, Denver Post:
Championship or Bust? Also, who is your biggest competition for the division crown?

[garbageman]

With the addition of T-Mac, you've got a lot of talent in the front court to the point where star potential players like Gerald Green and Wilson Chandler are all competing for court time. It's a good problem to have, but how are you going to make sure all of these important pieces have enough minutes to keep them happy?

[Xist2Inspire]

It's not "championship or bust" at all, don't expect us to destroy the team if we don't win the title. While Tracy has made it clear that he wants another ring, and there is a sense of urgency due to his one-year deal, the core of our team isn't going anywhere. Tyreke, Ersan, Wilson, Gerald, Anthony, and Luc are all locked in for at least another season. We plan to be in the mix for years to come.

As for competition, it's the same as last season, only swapped. The Heat are now the number-one threat, as they have the firepower and familiarity with each other to really do damage in not just the Atlantic, but the Eastern Conference as a whole. Second are the 76ers, who can never, ever be underestimated.

Our idiot preseason coaching staff really made our lineup look more chaotic than it really is. Gerald, Wilson and Ersan will start at SF, SG, and PF. Luc and T-Mac will both play the 6th Man role, with Luc playing both forward spots and T-Man playing both guard spots. In order to give everyone a fair shot at showing off their talents and conserve energy for later on in the season, no one will be scheduled to play more than 32 minutes a game to start the season off.

[NOLa.]

How big of a role will Mbah play on this team now that the front court of your team took some hits? Will he be played at PF primarily and do you think his offense will develop?


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[Xist2Inspire]

We're really going to need Luc to anchor our defense and grab the boards. Offensively we're content with whatever he gives us, because we already have multiple scorers. Luc will be the main guy helping us maintain leads by rebounding and defending when Ersan or Gerald are on the bench.

[NOLa.]

Follow up. Can I has Mbah


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[NickMalone77]

Nick Melon; The Advocate: If you could sum up your team in one song, what would it be?

[Xist2Inspire]

phpBB [video]

[ballsohard]

6 wings, no bigs to speak of and no pure pg; does your team have to be majorly agressive to get into the championship race or do you stand pat and hope that your wings versilitity can get you a ring?

[Xist2Inspire]

Well, even though our strength is definitely on the wings, we're not exactly going to be "weak" inside for long. Ersan's a 20 ppg scorer that puts pressure on opposing bigs defensively and forces them to come out of the paint. Anthony's a guy who does basic big man things extremely efficiently. Luc's a defensive nightmare and tenacious rebounder. Charlie's an experienced vet with an all-around skillset. And should the Biedrins deal go through, we'll have a big with championship experience who is also a force on the boards. We may not have a star-studded frontcourt, but I'm confident that we'll have an effective one.

As for Tyreke, that's where we hope T-Mac will come in. Jarrett's been working with Tyreke from Day 1 on his PG skills, but T-Mac's one of the few guys in the league today who can truly understand Tyreke, as he was once used in a similar role. And, as always, we have Jarrett to come in and run the show as only he can if we need a steadier hand.

What you see is pretty much what you're gonna get with this team. Don't expect too much in the way of big deals, and if you do see one, it won't be of the head scratching variety.