#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

GM Kevin U. Coach VII: I know I am the primary person responsible for the culture of losing here in Portland but not this year. This year I think I have put together a pretty good team. Looking back to last season we made one move, sending Victor for the T-Wolves' pick. That pick was then packaged with Blake and Antawn to acquire Steven Hunter, Eddie Griffin, and Courtney Lee. We then sent the rest of the goods from the Hornets deal and two picks to the Bucks for Ron Artest. This team can post up, play defense inside and out, and shoot the three. Sure we had a lack luster training camp but we are still the preseason favorites in the Pacific. This is a good team and I'm not going to let an icy locker room hold us back. So without further ado we will now commence team building activities.

Coach Toni Kukoc: We're going to start off by learning a little more about each other. Let's play two truths and a lie. Adam, as our most tenured player, start us off.


Adam Morrison: Okay well, I didn't play a single minute during my rookie season, I don't play defense, and I've been sober 10 days.

[Crickets]

Coach Kukoc: Okaaay. Let's try someone else. Ron, let's get to know you.


Ron Artest: No problem Toni. I'm the best player in this league, I'm the best defender on the team, and I enjoy romantic comedies.

Steven Hunter: Easy, I'm the best defender on the team.

[Hunter and Artest glare at each other]

Eddie Griffin: You like RomComs?

Coach Kukoc: Let's move on. Derrick tell the guys a little about yourself.


Derrick: Let's see. The GM just traded my best friend to our division rivals, I have never won 25 games in a regular season, and I was so upset that the GM brought in another alpha that I totally abandoned defensive training this offseason to focus on shooting so I can prove I'm the real boss.

Hamed Haddadi: Supposed to lie, Derrick!

Derrick Rose: Shut up, Hamed!

Coach Kukoc: Settle down now. One more try. Courtney, you've been quiet. Speak up now.


Courtney Lee: Hi, I'm Courtney. I am terrified of Ron, I have to clean up Derrick's messes because apparently there is no D in D-Rose, and Eddie makes fun of my name all the time.

[Everybody else on the team laughs]

Coach Kukoc: That's enough of that. Who wants to do trust falls?

GM Coach: We'll open the floor up to questions.

Vegas has you pegged for 2nd in the division. Too high, too low? Why?

TheSyndicate wrote:Vegas has you pegged for 2nd in the division. Too high, too low? Why?

Too low. This is a team with pieces that fit well together on the court. Vegas often gets fooled by flashy lineups. Odds makers don't grasp the finer points of team building (and neither do I for that matter).

GWR: Is this the most talented team you've assembled? Do you think it rivals the Shaquille years?

Random Reporter: Derrick, how do you feel going from a project PG to the young floor leader of a team with playoff aspirations?

JNR wrote:GWR: Is this the most talented team you've assembled? Do you think it rivals the Shaquille years?

If Derrick would have had a better training camp I would have declared this the best Blazers team yet. However, as it stands, this team looks a lot like the first Shaq year, which was our best season so I still have high expectations.

Xist2Inspire wrote:Random Reporter: Derrick, how do you feel going from a project PG to the young floor leader of a team with playoff aspirations?

I'm ready to be a leader. I won't take a back seat to anyone, not even Ron. I can lead this team to the playoffs with the help of these guys.