#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

No video package this year. Just a podium, a table full of players, and JNR wearing his oversized suit. He grips the podium and begins talking.

The JNR: Thanks for joining us today. We ended the year last year with an impressive core of Rip Hamilton, Chris Bosh, and Shaquille O'Neal. We obtained the 7th seed and lost in 6 games to the Mavericks. Our cap situation prevented us from getting a lot of improvements in free agency, but we were able to improve internally. Chris Bosh had a fantastic training camp and may be a top 5 player this year. Shaq is still strong and skilled, even though his quickness may not be what it used to.

Shaquille O'Neal takes forty eight seconds to look over at The JNR, raise his eyebrows, and shake his head.



Shaq: That...wasn't...very...nice...of...you...to...say.

The JNR: Earl Watson and Jason Richardson continued to improve, and they are ready to be our starting point guard and small forward, respectively. Something we really were impressed with was Jason's continued improvement in strength.

Richardson reaches for his mug and shatters it in his hand.



The JNR: Season goals are vague and unclear. The West is stacked, and our division is amazing. We had a rough preseason and we've got questions to figure out. And it's no secret that all of our players but Bosh are subject to being traded at any time. This season could be great, or it could be a disaster. Hard to tell at this point. Okay, after that ringing endorsement of positivity, I'm going to open the floor to questions.

Random Reporter: Despite having a solid starting 5, your bench depth seems to have taken a hit. Is there anyone you're counting on to make contributions off the bench? Will improving the bench be a focal point this season?

Dr. Rocker, The Cleveland Rocker: Anyone looking over your team sees one thing that jumps off the page: Joel Pryzbilla. He is clearly overpaid, but is he that bad or is he worse than he was and in a bad role? You have two years with Pryz unless you can find a taker, so is finding a better way to use him the best way you can get enough wins to help offset you tax bill?

Xist2Inspire wrote:Random Reporter: Despite having a solid starting 5, your bench depth seems to have taken a hit. Is there anyone you're counting on to make contributions off the bench? Will improving the bench be a focal point this season?

The JNR: That's a fair assessment. I think we'll be looking to Michael Dickerson and Marc Jackson to score off the bench. I imagine a lineup where Jackson and Bosh will play at the 4 and 5 interchangeably. The key will be making sure that at least one of my dynamic scorers is on the floor at all times.

42PhD wrote:Dr. Rocker, The Cleveland Rocker: Anyone looking over your team sees one thing that jumps off the page: Joel Pryzbilla. He is clearly overpaid, but is he that bad or is he worse than he was and in a bad role? You have two years with Pryz unless you can find a taker, so is finding a better way to use him the best way you can get enough wins to help offset you tax bill?

The JNR: We were actually really close to dealing Przy a couple of times last season, and honestly I'll take a lot of the blame here: he could likely be a good backup center because of his rebounding and athleticism. I just haven't given him those opportunities, and other players continually outplay him in practice. He'll see more time this year as we wade through our army of backup bigs.

The preseason was ugly but we all know preseason means jack shit. Your team has been competitive for the last couple of seasons and Bosh is a superstar. The piece in question is Rip. Do you see your team without Rip after the trade deadline, or with him?

Sent via Morse code

Who is the most sought after piece on your roster? If not Bosh, do you think people are scared to approach the hot girl at the dance knowing they'll be turned down?


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NOLa. wrote:The preseason was ugly but we all know preseason means jack shit. Your team has been competitive for the last couple of seasons and Bosh is a superstar. The piece in question is Rip. Do you see your team without Rip after the trade deadline, or with him?

Sent via Morse code

The JNR: That's a great question, and I apologize for the cop out answer: it really depends on where the team is at. If we're doing well, then he'll be on the team. If our season isn't going the way we hope, then it makes sense to get value for him. We'll know more as we get further down the line.

TrayWithAnA wrote:Who is the most sought after piece on your roster? If not Bosh, do you think people are scared to approach the hot girl at the dance knowing they'll be turned down?


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The JNR: Only GMs who like getting laughed at had made serious inquiries for Bosh. There aren't many, though, because some GMs don't like wasting their or others' time. Some do, though.

The JNR rolls his eyes.

The JNR: I'd say the most interest we've gotten recently has actually been Earl Watson. I think a lot of teams are missing a capable point guard, and Earl seems to fit that mold. So people have asked for his availability. It's possible a deal gets worked out, although we love what Earl brings us.

Random Dallas reporter:

The Timberwolves are on everyone's radar in the Midwest division. With a guy like Bosh, your team always has a chance. Does he have enough of a supporting cast to take the team to the next level this year?

What is it going to take to get Rip from you? Are you serious about dealing him or is he "on the block if you offer me a guy with blue potential and future lottery pick?"

How much pressure is going to be on Earl Watson to get the ball to all your scorers enough to keep them all happy?

fearthebrow wrote:Random Dallas reporter:

The Timberwolves are on everyone's radar in the Midwest division. With a guy like Bosh, your team always has a chance. Does he have enough of a supporting cast to take the team to the next level this year?

The JNR: It's hard to say. Bosh is the type of young player who can take a team places by himself, and it's not like we're without talent. But there are plenty of external factors that could get in our path.

kucoach7 wrote:What is it going to take to get Rip from you? Are you serious about dealing him or is he "on the block if you offer me a guy with blue potential and future lottery pick?"

The JNR: If we get an offer we like, we'll deal him. If not, I'm more than happy to decide to keep him if it seems that we're growing together.

WigNosy wrote:How much pressure is going to be on Earl Watson to get the ball to all your scorers enough to keep them all happy?

The JNR: A lot, but we think he can handle it. Earl has been putting a lot of effort into his game, and we think it will show this year.

Do you have any concerns Shaq's lack of shape at this point in his career will hinder his overall performance and significantly detract from your team's effectiveness?

Btw, can you let him know his pizzas are here?

New Jersey Reporter: How does it feel knowing you picked the best player in the 2003 draft with the 4th pick?

Metcher Flackel: How far do you think your team will go this year with your current roster? Bosh Is borderline OP.

TheSyndicate wrote:
Do you have any concerns Shaq's lack of shape at this point in his career will hinder his overall performance and significantly detract from your team's effectiveness?

Btw, can you let him know his pizzas are here?

Shaq: Allow...me...to...answer...that...question...sir...I...think...my...speed...is...an...over...rated...issue...I...think...I...

The JNR: For the love of God, stop. Yeah, he won't be what he used to be, but his skill is still undoubtedly there.

Shaq: Thanks...coach...now...let...me...destroy...them...pizzas...

RPF wrote:New Jersey Reporter: How does it feel knowing you picked the best player in the 2003 draft with the 4th pick?

The JNR: It feels great, especially because we thought we were going to get Carmelo after we dropped. Bosh has turned into an amazing player, and we're proud of his continued development.

Eazy P wrote:Metcher Flackel: How far do you think your team will go this year with your current roster? Bosh Is borderline OP.

The JNR: I think my team can be a middle seed in the West, but it's definitely possible that we're lower. It depends on a lot of factors. And Bosh is very close to OP, but not quite there. If he were OP, my job would be a lot easier.

What are your feelings on the current trade market ?

What is your anticipated pace this season?