#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

There have been tumultuous times in the East the past few years. Years of looking like a pit of despair for any GM not in the top 3 of the conference. Whether it was the Hawks, the Raptors, the Celtics, the Pacers, the Wizards, or the Bucks, there was always that 1 or 2 powerhouses who were almost a lock for the division or conference. In fact, the #1 seed of the Eastern conference has been the Hawks or the Celtics 11 of the 15 seasons of #SLOE basketball.





The East has almost always been a top heavy conference. We had the Hawks initial run in the East in the first few seasons, then the Green Dynasty in Boston, followed by the Hawks return to power. In between, we had a few one-off power swings (Wizards, Bucks, Raptors), but these two franchises have been running the conference since the beginning of #SLOE. The ability (or even motivation) to grasp for power by other GMs flickered like a candle in the wind.

In fact, this will be the first time since the 1999-00 season that an over-.500 team will be left out of the Eastern Conference playoff picture. Last time before that? 1993-94 season. Digging deeper, SIX TIMES since 1997, a sub-.500 team advanced to the playoffs at least the 7th seed. We are only a few seasons removed from the worst stretch, when in the 2000-01 and 2001-02 seasons, a sub-.500 team made the playoffs as a 6th seed; ironically, this was the start of the Hawks-Penny "Reign of Terror", a time when teams so no hope in winning the conference. It was a dark, dark time, but this conference is finally emerging as the conference that has had some of the most parity in all of sim league. This is the 1st time SINCE THE INAGUARAL SEASON that there has been a 4 game difference between the #4 and #8 seeds. Parity is here, ladies and gentleGMs.

While the struggle for the championship has been within the grasps of the few, there is one thing that has almost always been a constant battle: the fight for the coveted #8th seed. Whether it was multilpe sub-.500 teams trying to stay out of the playoffs and solidify a lotto pick or teams over-.500 trying to give their season validity, since the first season of the league, the separation between #8 and #9 seeds at the end of the season has been 1 or less games EIGHT TIMES. It almost always comes down to a nailbiter finish in the East to see who makes it to the post-season.

Before we dig deeper into each division to look at individual teams and how they've progressed, let's take a look at the conference as a whole. I tallied all the wins an sorted them out by teams and years, slapping them together into various line graphs. First, the data:



Now, the aftermath. Brace yourselves; a <expletive deleted> is coming.



In the next couple posts (over the next couple days), I'll break this down some more and go into a review of each team. Some will be speculation and reaches, looking for trends. Other statements will be things I've just observed being around the league for 15 seasons. I hope you enjoy the next installment when it comes later today/tomorrow/this week.

One last piece I forgot to mention...

I have a special designation for some teams called "Bubble Bursters". These are teams that historically have had a tough time closing out the season and making the playoffs, specifically landing in the #9, #10, or #11 seeds 4 or more times. I will post that within each of their team sections, but I wanted to get the term defined before using in the future!

Good job Douglas!

Meanwhile, in the Annual Eastern Conference Fap Fest

Today, I'm going take a dive into the history of Atlantis... I mean, Atlantic.
Lets start by taking a look at a slightly-less-<expletive deleted> graph of the Atlantic Division.



Remember, I said "SLIGHTLY". Anyway, quick observations? The Atlantic has always been a miserable pool of poop with no one giving Conroy a run for his money until he declined (even in 2000, when he could barely scrap together 45 wins). A few teams did manage to grab the tops from him: the Knicks of the 91, the Magic of 92, the Nets of 98. However, the new millenium has a new team (and dynasty) on the rise, and that team is the Washington Wizards. Since 2001, no one has been close to grabbing the top spot from them, as GM Xist wheeled and dealed his way to many division crowns and post-season appearances.

But enough about winning. Let's talk about what happens here alot: losing. Since 1990, this division has had at least 4 sub-.500 teams in a season TEN TIMES. In fact there was a gross stretch with 5 or 6 teams being sub-500: 2000 (6), 2001 (6), 2002 (5), 2003 (6). Was this due to the improbable task of uprooting the Hawks/Raptors/Bucks/Wizards? Or was it just ineptitude? I think was more of the former that led GMs to "blow it up" and try to strike the iron while it was hot in those deep 2001-2003 drafts. However, the era of suckitude is trending towards dissipation, as teams are developing their young, drafted talent and making the Atlantic a division worth watching.

The Boston Celtics



I look at the Celtics and see a guy with a plan: get lucky. I know Conroy hates to hear it, but his rise to power came almost exclusively from that Top 2 protected pick he Indian-Gave Bojangles. Reminds me of the State Farm commercial with the fishing guy dangling a dollar over the chick's head. Swap out the Dollar for a 92 top-2 protected first round pick and the chick with a drunk frat bro that had a love and penchant for drunk posting. Don't get me wrong. Conroy had a lot of very savvy moves to get the prominence he got. The trade for Mitch Richmond and Clyde Drexler come to mind, specifically. Then BOJANGLES STRIKES BACK! Just when the Celtics are looking to lose some talent, the infamous FA signing of Tim Hardaway happens, and essentially locks up the Atlantic for what would become almost a half sim-decade. However, after getting bored, Conroy decided to shake things up. He tanked his balls off, landed Steve Francis, and looked to be in the running again. But the rise was short, and he instead opted in for a long rebuild. Depsite setbacks (unfavorable Jason Terry/Steve Francis TCs), the luck of the Irish still runs strong as Steven Hunter (who?), Carlos Boozer (how'd he fall to 5?!), and John Salmons (I thought he sucked??) all grew leaps and bounds organically to become the franchise's new youth movement. With his history and Gming abilities (and his damned luck), we can expect to see Conroy back on top soon enough.

The New York Knicks



The New York Knicks are the antithesis of the saying "I started from the bottom now I'm here". This franchise's history could literally be split in two halves. One half of wins, celebrations, and success and one of turmoil, uncertainty, and snuglife. In the beginning, they had a dream and a foundational player in David Robinson. Robinson was by far one of the best big men to play in this league. And their original GM, Gohan, was a huge fan... for a few seasons. Then he abandoned ship. BUT LIKE A GOOD ADMIRAL, David Robinson could lead any ship, with or without the assistance of a GM. Then along came the francise's next GM, not1not2not3. I would like to say he steered this team to multiple playoff runs, but honestly, THE ADMIRAL was at the helm there too. 1990-1996 were the best of years for Knicks fans, even though they were only able to win the division once (otherwise living in the shadow of the Celtics.. and Magic for that weird one-off season). Then began the second half of this franchise's history: 1997-2015 aka The Anus Era. I coined it that because if it smelled like shit and looked like shit, then it pretty much was shit. There were some seasons when we had no GM emerge for the Knicks. Then a familiar face appeared: ohnosono reincarnated in the form of snuglife. At first it was a joyous return of the GM who mysteriously vanished from running the Heat in the first couple of seasons. But soon, history began to repeat itself. Missed DCs, bad signings, even worse trades, and mismanaged trade talks (teehee). One thing that snug did right was get the Cavs 2002 draft pick. That at least managed to snag him Yao Ming (via trade), who gave him the initial starting block to rebuild the franchise. He bottomed out again in 2003 to snag Carmelo Anthony at #3, allowing Chris Bosh to fall to the Timberwolves. This move, while Anthony is far from horrible, was one of the BIGGEST mistakes in the history of the Knicks. After repeated inactivity and absence, GM Snuglife was removed from his position (still hasn't been online to realize it or read the warning PM) and replaced with new GM Troll Lord. Let's see if Troll Lord can start a new chapter for the Knicks... or if he'll just continue to wade in the poo pool that is this once prestigious franchise's current state.

The New Jersey Nets



The New Jersey Nets emerged from the creation draft with a pretty young core. Rod Strickland (24) and Ron Harper (27) were both approaching their primes and already looked to be A-level talent in the league (both b/b). Down low they had a lot of potential with Olden Polynice (26 y/g) and Cliff Robinson (24 g/b). Their biggest weakness was small forward, manned by Gerald Wilkins. But then 1991 Training Camp happened. Olden Polynice and Cliff Robinson's potentials were slammed to the ground harder than an RKO out of nowhere. This is Patient Zero of TC deaths for the Nets, a sad trend that has haunted this franchise over the course of their run in the league. Other notables TC deaths: Antoine Walker, Nene Hilario, Jamaal Tinsley, TJ Ford, Corey Magette, and Gerald Wallace (slightly). All of these guys were young players that the Nets had hoped to build around, but TC forced them to look elsewhere.

The 1992-93 was the beginning of the turning point for this franchise. They had just missed out on the playoffs, and the morale around the franchise and fan base was starting to decline. But the Nets struck gold with their #13 pick: Isaiah Rider, who would become probably the most identifiable Net in the Franchise's history. The Nets decided for a little bit o' rebuilding. It is quite publicly documented that GM RPF has spoken out clearly about his anti-tanking beliefs and refused to ever bottom out and try for the worst record. In 1996 draft, it paid off when Antoine Walker fell to them at #9. Walker was the Robin to Rider's Batman. And this also brought forth some of the best years for the Nets franchise. Isaiah Rider, their leader, and Antoine Walker, their 2nd in command, were joined by the Great White Tom Gugliotta in 1997, fulfilling New Jersey's Big 3 plan. Their best year was the 1998-99 season, but were unfortunately bounced in the 1st round of the playoffs by the Detroit Pistons. They gave it one last hurrah in 1999-00 with Rider and Gugliotta, but the damage done to Antoine Walker in training camp forced GM RPF's hand and turned his franchise in the direction of a rebuild. Since then, they've acquired plenty of good talent along the way, notably Gerald Wallace, Corey Magette (pre-nerf), Drew Gooden, Jameer Nelson, and Chris Kaman. They are poised for a long run if their young players can pan out as they hope. Hopefully, all of their bad luck in training camp is behind them now, and they have brighter days ahead.

The Orlando Magic



If the Orlando Magic's line graph was a roller coster, it would be one hell of a thrilling ride. They started their franchise with a cornerstone piece in Glen Rice, one of the more prolific scorers in the early 90s. Looking back, the Magic had 2 major pieces to their puzzle: a dominant big (Rony Seikaly) and explosive scorer (Glen Rice). This fueled the transformation on that team for the next two seasons. The Magic GM is notoriously known for eclectic trade tactics; whether it is exhausting negotiations or whimsical decisions, Coltsguy was always looking to make a move to make his team better. Remember that dominant big? He was gone by the end of 1991 and replaced by Rik Smits (who was still a good big, just not the rebounder you would hope for). CG also added the likes of Mookie Blaylock as well. But by 2002? Guess what.. THEY GONE. The team was revamped again, bringing in the likes of Magic Johnson, Derek Harper, Horace Grant, and Detlef Schrempf. This overhaul though netted the Magic their first (and only, thus far) Atlantic Division championship. However, coltsguy's run at the Eastern Conference finals was cut short by the soon-to-be dynastic Celtics. After losing, coltsguy had only one move...

...BLOW IT UP AGAIN! This time, instead of trading to win, trading for the purposes of a tank-a-thon. The cherry on top was the trade with then-Phoenix-GM Inner GI trading a couple picks and a buncha doodoo for Glen Rice. People were fuming and furious. WHAT A TRAVESTY. HOW DARE COLTSGUY BE SUCH AN IDIOT?!?! Well, the pick turned into the #4 overall pick, Eddie Jones. And his own pick? #3 overall, Jason Kidd. Not a bad turn around. The Magic had the assets to make moves and sign players, and they did. The Orlando Magic turnstile spun faster than those turnstyles at Disney World. But one thing is for sure... for a 4 year window, they competed for the Eastern Conference crown, finally making it to the NBA Finals in the 1998-99 season. After falling to the Kemps though... you knew it was coming... Time to...

... BLOW IT UP AGAIN! The Magic did it again! But this time it seems coltsguy has learned some patience. It has been a slow and steady climb back to being a competitive squad. And once again, he put together not only a deep team, but a franchise that has more assets than they know what to do with. He has really grown as a GM over the past 15 seasons, and it looks like he'll continue to get better... but when is that blow up coming? Because we all know it'll be here before we know it.

(skipping the 76ers until after this Finals... )

The Washington Wizards



First off, I would just like to say that in the 15+ (going back to PR = +) seasons in doing sim league there hasn't been a nicer GM than J2/xist2inspire. One of the most easy going, genuinely good guys in the league. Now back to sim talk... for the first decade, the Wizards have constantly been a fringe team, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. For that first decade, they were almost always 4th in their division or worse. There were a few seasons in the mid-90s where they made a push and were just short of 50 wins. However, after that "success", he decided to do what seemed to work out great for many other GMs before him: bottom out. The Wizards were known for making small deals with teams, whether it was bringing in cash considerations or acquiring some young role players for bench depth. However, during the '99 draft, the Wizards made their splashiest move since trading Scottie Pippen to the Lakers, and this move would turn around their franchise - the trade of the #3 overall pick for Rashard Lewis and the #9th overall pick (Lamar Odom). This sole move alone can be looked back to as the Washington resurgence in the East. Many other moves were made that helped this rebuild, notably trading for and retaining Olowokandi, trading for Vladimir Radmanovic (who came out of no where), trading for Shaquille O'Neal, signing Anthony Johnson in RFA. Since making these big time moves, the Wizards changed the landscape of the hapless Eastern Conference, taking a firm grasp of the reigns and making the rest their bitch from 2001 to present day. In 2004, the Wizards notched their franchise-best 63 wins in a season. Unfortunately for them, they were met by the underdog, under-the-radar Philadelphia 76ers who were just catching fire at the right time. The Wizards went to a fierce 7-game series against the Sixers, and in the 2nd half of Game 7 ran out of gas, letting a double-digit lead turn into a deficit. It's an unfortunate end for a storybook season for the Wizards organization, but my bet is on them coming back strong and hungrier than ever next season to continue for the Atlantic crown once again.

Great write up


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78# wrote:Great write up


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Thanks man I'm gunna keep working on it throughout the offseason. This is turning out like alot more work than expected lol... So may split the Atlantic and Central out into two separate articles.

Will hopefully finish off with the Heat and Sixers tomorrow!

The Miami Heat



When Sim League began, the Heat were bottom of the barrel. They had a young squad with some potential, primarily Gary Payton (followed by Rex Chapman, Michael Williams, and Felton Spencer), but ultimately amounted to nothing. After the inaugural season, they were the 2nd worst record (shout out to the Rockets!!!!); but Lady Luck smiled on the GM formerly known as ohnosono and granted them with the gift of the #1 overall pick, Dikembe Mutombo. They also drafted Tharon Mayes with the #23 pick, who ended up becoming #TCBlessed. As many teams with negligent owners work, the Heat sucked again in the 1991-92 season, landing another top 6 pick, drafting Jim Jackson to pair with Gary Payton and Dikembe Mutombo. What a Big 3!! The roster was panning out to be deep across the board. They just needed to grow into their potentials... ENTER: TRAINING CAMP. Dikembe was taken out back and had his kneecaps broken, becoming a lowly g/g C (hardly living up to the future all-star status many of the league believed he could become over time). Eventually after league intervention, GM ohnosono would be removed, and eventually replaced by current GM/owner, Logpmess. Logpmess took over this budding squad and made some deals right off the bat, including one for newly inducted HOF center Hakeem Olajuwon. Starting in 1994, the Heat made the playoffs for 6 straight seasons. Many would consider that successful, but I know that Logpmess was not overly happy with it, as his organization was the recipient of a 1st round exit for the 1st 5 of those 6 seasons.

The 1999 season was a magical one for the Heat. They entered the playoffs as the #7 seed in the East. Despite their seeding, the Heat took each one of its Round 1 (#2 Celtics) and Round 2 (#3 Raptors) through a guantlet series, winning each series in Game 7. More so, each Game 7 was won by 2 points OR LESS. It was a really exciting time to be a Heat fan, making the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time in franchise history. Unfortunately, they ran into a wall named the Milwaukee Bucks. Some say they were the team that initially concussed Shaq in that Eastern Conference Finals, and Shaq wasn't diagnosed until a brutal hit by Kevin Garnett in the Finals. But that's a story for another time and another day.

The Heat, downtrodden with their ECF exit, saw the writing on the wall. They knew their time with Jim Jackson and Gary Payton was approaching the end. When Jim Jackson left for the Minnesota Timberwolves in 2000 Free Agency, the Heat tried to field a playoff team for a couple more years with Gary Payton. In 2002-03 season, the Heat came to the day they wished they never would have to see: the day they traded Gary Payton. But the 2003 draft helped ease that pain. The Miami Heat struck gold again, winning the lottery and getting the opportunity to draft Lebron James, the most touted played coming out of high school. Some say he could be even more talented than Michael Jordan, although that tale has some time to play out. But the future is looking fire hot for the Miami Heat, and I know they are looking forward to seeing how the 2005 lotto plays out.

Last but not least (well at least until this season anyway...)

The Philadelphia 76ers



If you look up the definition of mediocrity in the Merriam Webster Dictionary, you will see:

noun me·di·oc·ri·ty \ˌmē-dē-ˈä-krə-tē\
1. the quality of something that is not very good : the quality or state of being mediocre
2. the #SLOE Philadelphia 76ers

Since the league began under the ownership of Sim League's version of Jim Irsay (bojangles), the Sixers had few brights spots overshadowed by missteps (or maybe just misses as a whole). There are 3 "transactions" (or lack thereof) that will define the Sixers under bojangles...

a. the infamous Top 2 protected pick of 1992 draft
b. trading 25 year old Dennis Scott for 30 year old Ron Harper (93-94 season)
c. getting in a drunken stupor and missing bids for Round 1 Free Agency in 1994, allowing Tim Hardaway to walk from Philly to Boston

There's a running joke that the Boston Celtics are the "Team that Bojangles Built", but it would be hard not to go on a limb and say that Bojangles quite possibly is just as responsible for building Conroy's dynasty as Conroy was. But this isn't about the Celtics, this is the story of the 76ers. Eventually, Bojangles hit rock bottom and had a moment of clarity and sobriety where he found out the 76ers, despite his love for the organization, were better off without him; subsequently, he stepped down, leaving them vacant for a couple seasons... until the Prince came.

P(rince) Amour came from the other sim league touting many rings and championships. GM 78 even considered him one of his top rivals. However, he never really lived up to the hype while the 76ers were under his control. Like his predecessor, he had some controversial, organization-defining moves while in power:

a. Drafting Rip Hamilton
b. Signing two 30 year olds (Bobby Phills and Anthony Peeler) to max deals
c. Trading the #1 overall pick in the 2001 Draft (Pau Gasol) for Baron Davis
d. Trading multiple draft picks to get Anthony Peeler's contract off the books

Drafting Rip and acquiring Baron Davis gave the Sixers an extremely athletic and young core, and shedding Peeler helped clear the books somewhat. But seeing the task was too much to handle, Prince decided it may be best for him to step down as well.

Then, the Golden Boy arrived in Philadelphia. After shadow-GMing the LA Lakers to a championship, the hunger to run, manage, and coach his own team took over GM Ballsohard. He claimed the open 76ers organization, and immediately made impactful moves.

a. Trading Rip Hamilton for Luis Scola and Tayshaun Prince
b. Dumping Michael Doleac's albatross contract (one last present from Prince Amour) for an expiring Shawn Bradley
c. Signed Cuttino Mobley, among other role players, to short-term team-friendly deals
d. Draft Josh Childress

In a year when the expectations were low (lotto-pick low), the 76ers responded unexpectedly to the coaching of Ballsohard, reaching 48 wins in the season. Fun Fact: 48 wins is a Franchise BEST for win total. Then BallsoHard led the team to do the unthinkable, they steamrolled through playoff opponent after playoff opponent, on the legs of Baron Davis, Paul McPherson, coaching, and strategy alone. The squad destroyed a heart-broken, Jason Kidd-less Rockets team to bring a championship to Philadelphia. In 1 season of being a GM, Ballsohard is already the most successful GM in the organization's history. And we've only seen the tip of the iceberg.

Evolution of the East: Atlantic Division is finished... please feel free to leave feedback/comments/rebuttals

(also: AWARDED 5 POINTS [towards 04-05 season total])

It's Golden Man




Great write up Doug. These are the types of articles I read every last word of.

I feel bad because in the beginning I was trying to keep it more concise since I was trying to do everything. But since i Broke it out from all the east to just atlantic, it got a lot easier to get lost in the narrative of a 15-season history.

ballsohard wrote:It's Golden Man




Great write up Doug. These are the types of articles I read every last word of.

Thanks (supposed to be blushing)

Ballsohard is already the most successful GM in the LEAGUE'S history. And we've only seen the tip of the iceberg.

ftfy

We've had a string of really good articles lately, and this is one of the best. Great job dude!

Xist2Inspire wrote:We've had a string of really good articles lately, and this is one of the best. Great job dude!

Thanks man!

Looking forward to working on the next installment: The Central