#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

The two GM's with the worst record in each conference . . . in other words, presumptive title contenders next season . . . bring you a must-read playoff preview.

Remember to keep visiting because we'll be rolling this out in posts over time, not in one big chunk (counts as 1 article).

Darth, let's get right to it. League rules require the West to participate in the playoffs. No one in the East can divide the teams that suck from the teams that really suck, so help us out.

Match one team in the West to each of these three Johnny Cash songs, and tell me why.

Man In Black

25 Minutes To Go

When The Man Comes Around

"When The Man Comes Around"

Ok so I’m not really sure if this song is about God or the Devil but either way it’s about the “Man” kicking ass and taking names. This one isn’t as easy as it should be. Injuries have reared their ugly heads and have already looked to change the outcomes of a few series. There were never any truly dominant teams in the West this year as we’ve seen in the past. Nothing close to the 97 Mavs, whose genius GM wrecked the league with a 16-4 playoff run that year. BUT with that being said, I have always thought that this year’s Mavs were the cream of the West. Even if that cream comes from places you’d never imagine. Let’s be honest, the West is a dumpster fire. The former real GMs have all moved on. Ballsohard jumped ship to the Eastern conference. BowtotheBill got detention and had to quit. And DarthVegito decided to hand his championship contending present to FTB and raise another franchise up from the ashes.

The West has no “Man”. It’s waiting for one to arrive. Is it the Mavs and FTB? Is he ready to finally get it done? Or is it Nola, one of the best regular season GMs who is allergic to winning playoff series? Or will he reach the Finals for the first time in OVER 10 years? How about the state of mediocrity itself, the Rockets? So many questions in the West. So little answers. Hopefully someone will win. Also just an FYI, I will be selling gameplans for late 1st rounders and 7 points per sim. Don’t all PM at once now!

For that one, I was going to say the Rockets. The man here is the tax man. He better make the most of his here, because his ass is going to be in tax hell next season, crown or no crown.

For 25 Minutes To Go, I was going to say Phoenix, because they suck. They'll be lucky if the League doesn't stop the series at 3-0. You?

"25 Minutes To Go"

Yup no arguing there. This is a no brainer. A .500 club who finished SECOND in the Pacific. Goes to show you how pathetic that division has become. GMessi though to his credit, has a fairly young team but it’s full of average talent. This team does 2 things pretty well, they don’t turn the ball over and they have a surprisingly decent defense. But let’s be real, the Mavs with or without Andre Miller, are going to destroy this Suns squad. Enjoy your games in Dallas. Get out, hit the clubs, see the sights, find some hookers. Enjoy your 25 minutes sir.

"Man In Black"

No, we aren't talking about Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones. This song is depressing as Frye. Full of negativity and sad, depressing tones. I could only think of one team and GM when hearing this song. And although I may be breaking the rules, I have to give this one to former Lakers GM, InnerGI. Mr. Doom and Gloom himself. What's depressing is the state that he left this organization in. He received a championship contending team, all shiny and new, on a silver platter dipped in gold and then sprayed in platinum(that make any sense??). Struggling with feeling of not feeling like he deserved any of the teams' success, he made a few moves to change the makeup of his team. But even after do so, it wasn't enough.

He went on to win a championship with the core that Balls gave him. And instead of doing what he should have done and won as many rings as possible while saying "Frye you" to the ones that deemed him unworthy, he cracked. He started selling off pieces for next to nothing and then, before finally exiting in grand fashion, the Lakers were no more. Pieces scattered everywhere, left for TrayWithAnA to pick up. One of my biggest regrets is not being in a place where I could have taken advantage of Inner's kindness and pull off an all time trape for the history books. I will always carry this regret with me. But for now we say goodbye....to the "Man in Black".

Wow, you really are an asshole. You also raise a damn good point, which is a rare skill in this League.

Still, I'm going to give this to the Kings. They're snakebit as Frye, and the expectations he sets in Caesarian fashion are not his friend here. Every Fryeing day, this man is dressing for his funeral.

On to the East.

For East, we'll pick Green Day. Same format.

Basket Case

Holiday

Good Riddance

I'll start since you suck.

Good Riddance . . . this is the Hawks. I hope they had the time of their lives, because they are over, they know it, and it's great for literally everyone else.

Good Riddance

It can be none other than the Hawks. This team literally changed the way GMs looked at their teams. The Hawks forced teams to consider tanking rather than trying to compete because they felt it was pointless. The Hawks made the powers that be legitimately consider rules changes to ensure parity in the league. The Hawks made teams and GMs tremble in their presence. But it is finally over....until another GM hands the "computer"(Wignosy) a player that's unstoppable like Penny. Have the Mavs done well since trading away Penny? Sure, but we all know what the Hawks did after getting him. I wish more people would think about who they are trading top talent too and what these GMs have done on the past with top talent. There's a reason why the race to the championship is so wide open this year, it's because the top GMs in the league DON'T have top talent(or any at all for that matter). For a great GM, having a top player makes it really easy to dominate. So with that being said, farewell to the Hawks. Hope you've had the time of your life. Until your next life in a season or two

Basketcase has to be the Hornets. How can you play a team whose roster changes sim to sim? How can know what to expect when he can't.

The one thing you can't fight is crazy... Will this work for Nick?

Your pick?

I had another pick for basket case, but it's basically for the same reason. The Orlando Magic, although making bold moves to truly contend, had obviously hurt it's cohesiveness and team makeup. These guys haven't played together very long and are still figuring out each other's tendencies. It's been very very bumpy since his big trade and he's STILL trying to figure it out. CG barely made the playoffs when many, including myself, thought that the Magic would start to roll through and actually get close to the Wizards. That clearly didn't happen and here we are. A first round matchup with the Raptors and a GM who knows exactly how to get the most out of his Toronto squad. Highly likely we see a first round Magic bounce.

Signed with a Scarlet Letter

For Holiday, I see the Wizards as a fit. They have been resisting the prevailing winds and they have a chance to print they were right to do it.

AWARDED 5 POINTS TO 42 and DARTH! GOOD WORK, SLUTS!