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2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 10:16 am
by Xist2Inspire
PREVIOUSLY ON WIZTORY: THE NEW MILLENNIUM...
1999:
Xist2Inspire wrote:Jay-2: ....All right, here's what you've been waiting for, the recap. All right, last season...yeah, forget about last season. Bottom of the league, worst season in franchise history, all that stuff. Lotto comes, didn't get #1. I know a lot of y'all were thinking hard about Baron Davis or Shawn Marion, but that's how the lotto balls bounce. Ended up with #3, passed on hometown guy Steve Francis in favor of a trade, Rashard Lewis and two draft picks, one in the current draft. Yeah, I can't believe it either. We draft Lamar Odom with that pick at #9, gives us two forwards under 21.
Xist2Inspire wrote:
: ......As for Joe himself, we ain't heard much from him since the signin' was announced...I think someone told him what happened, and it must've gotten to him. I think he's startin' to realize that he was once the franchise guy, the future, an' he flushed it all away...
Xist2Inspire wrote:
Jay-2: ...if 'Shard and Odom can grow, we might have a nice big Forward combo. It'll be like having Hollywood Rob again...
2000:
Xist2Inspire wrote:
...Well, we finally got sick of Joe. His attitude's been a major thorn in our side the past few years, and he's had a cancerous effect on the development of some of our younger guys.
Xist2Inspire wrote:...Lamar's a really talented young man, he has the ability to do just about anything on the court, much like Robert Horry. We hope that his versatility will become a central part of our team, which will indeed enable us to trot out "big" lineups. Right now Lamar's slated to only play the 3 & 4 for us, but don't be surprised if you eventually see him play backup 2 & 1 and take over team facilitator duties from Brevin. *hic* I seem to have become quite eloquent. Perhaps this drink is affecting me more deeply than I expected.
Xist2Inspire wrote: Yo, this is gonna sound like the dumbest thing ever...no matter what happens, we can look back and think of this season as both a missed opportunity
and a step in the right direction...
2001:
Xist2Inspire wrote:Gandalfthegreyhaired: ...The Pacers' Anthony Johnson and the Kings' Antonio Daniels did decide to sign our offer sheets, however, we were only able to reach a deal with one, Mr. Johnson. We're very glad to have him, as we feel that he can be the steady hand at point that we as a franchise have lacked since David Wesley...
NickMalone77 wrote:*NickMelon77 Enters Room*
NickMelon77: this is an interesting concept. Last season you were drunkenly coherent in a bar and now you've taken to the Internet to spread your message. I like your line of thinking...Is this the year the Wizards recapture the Atlantic?
Xist2Inspire wrote:Gandalfthegreyhaired: Yes, it's been a long time since we've had a realistic shot at the division title...I feel we're about a year away from being ready to seize control of the Atlantic outright, but we definitely expect to be in the mix this season.
Xist2Inspire wrote:9Shardsofglass: I know I can score, that's no problem for me. What I want to be able to do this season is do things a little bit more efficiently, ya know? As far as I'm concerned, every open shot I take should go in.
2002:
Xist2Inspire wrote:
Xist2Inspire wrote:
4 years ago, Rashard Lewis was drafted with the 9th pick in the 1998 NBA Draft. 3 years ago, he was traded to the Washington Wizards along with the 9th pick in 1999 for the 3rd pick. 2 years later, the 22-year-old* inked a 5-year contract worth almost 70 million, seemingly solidifying his - and the Wizards' - future together...
Xist2Inspire wrote:
Xist: ...To be honest, a lot of us feel as if we haven't allowed him to fully showcase his versatility as a player...To us, he is a franchise player.
Xist2Inspire wrote:Xist: This is far from a "make or break" season for us...If we "make," then we know that this core is worth keeping and that all we need to worry about is filling in the gaps...
Xist2Inspire wrote:Xist: ...Joe was a vital part of our '97 Finals run, and was set to become the future face of our franchise. Unfortunately, the temptations of being a hometown hero got to Joe, and his lackadaisical attitude spread throughout our team, not only affecting him, but fellow youngsters Ron Mercer & Tony Battie. Because of that, we were forced to part ways with all three. We're very glad to see that he's gotten back on his feet in Houston, and if the opportunity presented itself, would gladly welcome him back...
2003:
Xist2Inspire wrote:
...I'm not sure what you mean by saying I'm the "next Shandon Anderson" bro, but
*munch munch* I'll find ways to help this team, no matter what people see when they look at my game...
coltsguy510 wrote:Is Rashard good enough to carry this team to a title?
Xist2Inspire wrote:
: ...we're operating on an "upgrades only" policy.
Wizards Media Room, Present Time:
"I can't believe they're actually doing a normal press conference this time," Jack Markson (from the Golden Take) whispered to Will Maukie. Maukie rolled his eyes. Markson's no newbie, he should know how things go by now.
"These are the DC Wizards, Jack. 'Normal' is a relative term around here." Markson shrugged and turned back towards the podium as they both waited for the press conference to start...
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 11:26 am
by NickMalone77
Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: Glad to have been apart of the video package down memory lane. The Atlantic has taken a lot of strides during the offseason to improve whether it be Keith Van Horn in Orlando, Philly actually having an owner, Celtics always getting that luck, Nets bringing back Starbury. You get the jist. With a full season of Shaq, do you see any challenges going forward to reclaim the Atlantic crown and maybe getting even further than the 2nd round?
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 11:35 am
by Xist2Inspire
: All right, let's get this thing rolling. Last season was a pretty good one, all things considered. We won 52 games, captured our third straight division title, Rashard established himself as a superstar, Lamar was voted 6th Man Of the Year by the league, the other GMs were kind enough to vote me as GM Of the Year...and then we got swept in the second round. Again.
*"Man, is this guy ever happy?" Johnny Junior asked rookie SI.com analyst J. Felders.*
: But that's in the past. Before moving on, I'd like to acknowledge one special player that wasn't around to see our successes last season: Michael Olowakandi. We said "upgrades only," and we delivered on that promise by bringing Shaq from Portland to DC. We really do wish Kandi all the best in his new home, as he was a player who stood by us through both the good and bad of the new millennium.
*The crowd claps politely. The fans never did like Kandi nearly as much as Xist did, and there were many Wiz diehards who breathed a sigh of relief once he was traded.*
: Now, on to the offseason. Once again, the draft came and went without a selection by us. We did have a pick - though not our own - that was promptly traded once our primary target went off the board. But hey, it was only pick #29, so don't worry, the "No-Draft 90's" aren't repeating themselves.
*Soft laughter echoed through the room. Nobody wanted to relive the decade that saw only 3 players drafted over 10 drafts...though the Wizards hadn't done much drafting in this decade either, now that you think about it.*
: So RFA came along, and despite the free market making it hard on us, we decided to bring back Chris Mihm. Going into Free Agency, we knew we had to be aggressive despite our complete and utter lack of cap room. A weak bench aside from Lamar was the Achilles' Heel of our team last season, and was a major factor in us getting bounced. Luckily, our efforts were rewarded, as veteran PG Damon Stoudamire and big man Radoslav Nesterovic accepted our minimum offers. And there was also one more...at this time, we'd like to welcome back......Joe Smith!
*Smith comes out to a hearty round of applause, the former hometown phenom beaming as he received his jersey - #54, just like the old days.*
: Thanks, thank you all. I'm really happy to be here once again. This franchise has changed so much since I've been gone, and last season in Toronto, I was shocked to see how far Rashard's come...jeez, I remember hazing the crap outta that kid back in '99. I was real bitter about missing out on playing with Steve twice in one offseason, let me tell ya... Anyway, I'm not quite the player I used to be, but I'm ready to help this squad in any way I can. Right now, me and Xist would like to show you a little promo video to expand on our offseason activities and get you all hyped for the regular season.
*The lights dim as all eyes turn to the screen...and Shaq's face pops up.*
*Xist's face pales as Joe mutters, "hmm, maybe things haven't changed much after all."*
*As the music blares from the speakers, out come Rashard Lewis, Damon Stoudemire, Vladimir Radmanovic, and of course, Shaquille O'Neal, all decked out in the tackiest early-00's gear imaginable. Maukie chuckles, leans back, and cocks his head at Markson. "What'd I tell ya Jack? Normal is relative in DC." In another part of the room, J. Felders' matter-of-fact statement of "'You Can't Stop The Reign?' But you've never won anything in your life!" had Johnny Junior in tears.
: DC...STAND UP!!!
: 'Cause we're TAKING OVER!!!
*All of a sudden, the music cuts off. Shaq and his crew look around, confused, until Xist pops back up and begins to speak. Turns out that he'd quickly located the power cord and yanked it out.*
: Not this conference, you ain't. Well, since we now have a full panel out here, I guess it's time for questions. Anyone?
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 11:44 am
by Xist2Inspire
: Well hell, that was quick. The Atlantic's a lot tougher than it's been in a while, definitely the toughest it's been since we've been competitive. Quite frankly, we feel that just getting out of our division will be a challenge, Shaq or no Shaq.
*Shaq pouts a little, unaccustomed to having his party pooped as well as getting slightly dissed*
: ...And that's not even considering old threats like the Hawks and new threats like the Bulls and Hornets. Challenges are omnipresent, man.
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 12:07 pm
by aburns211
Xist, You probably have the tallest team of any in our league. I assume you will be starting 4 guys at 6'10" or taller. Was this a devised plan or just happenstance? Do you feel the height advantage at certain positions gives you a distinct advantage?
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 12:19 pm
by 42PhD
Dr. Rocker, The Cleveland Rocker: Your praises were being sung in the Cleveland offices and outside, as ownership publicly praised your moves perceived to be a direct response to possibly taking on Atlanta in the playoffs. Explain to us why you chose to embarrass Cleveland in the fashion you did, why you hate us, and how you plan to make it up to them this season.
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 12:43 pm
by Xist2Inspire
: It was 100% planned. This has been in the works almost from the beginning. Lamar was the catalyst, given his obvious athleticism, but over time we found ourselves actively seeking out and developing players with height and athleticism, rather than just focusing solely on Lamar. I will say this, though: Had Rashard not come into his own at the 2, things would've been different.
*Rashard grins and flexes*
: As for advantages...
: ...being 6'10" makes it pretty easy for me when it comes to shooting. Not only can I pretty much always get a good look at the goal, but not really having to worry about defenders in my face helps me to keep and maintain a rhythm.
: ............What
I was going to say is that it really helps us control the boards. We've consistently been a top rebounding team for the past few years, and that's in big part due to our size. It also helps us defensively, as we're a team that features more than a few offense-first players, or as I like to call them, "3-and-no-D guys."
: Yo, is he dissin' me, yo? That's wack man, right in front of my 'boys and such.
: ......Aren't you from Romania, or Transylvania, or one of those European "-ia" places?
: Yo, whatever homie. And it's Bosnia, ya dig?
: ..............And since we have
several players like that, length goes a long way towards covering for their lack of defensive prowess. So that's a real big bonus.
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 12:57 pm
by Xist2Inspire
: ...Where's Cleveland?
: ...I think it's somewhere in Ohio, yo. Yo, I think they have an NBA team over there, it's a real city.
: ...You sure you're not thinking about Columbus, Cincinnati, Dayton, Akron, or Toledo? I mean, those are the only cities that matter in Ohio.
: Ain't you play there, Damon?
: ......
: ......Damon?
: ..............
*Shaq waves his hand in front of Damon's blank face*
: NO! I'M NEVER GOING BACK! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaahhhhhhhhhhh......
*Damon jumps up and runs out of the room*
: Um...
: ...Well.
: ...Yep, nothing's changed here.
: Yo, I told y'all fools that Cleveland was real.
: ...I like Cleveland...
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 12:59 pm
by JNR
GWR: Looks like Anthony Johnson's finally ready to play, huh?
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sat Nov 07, 2015 1:23 pm
by Xist2Inspire
: We certainly hope so. We've always viewed AJ as a player on the cusp of becoming a top PG in this league, but it hasn't quite come together yet. That being said, AJ's given us 3 years of solid play, and there is absolutely no pressure put on him to produce superstar-level stats this season. As long he keeps dishing out assists and taking the ball away on defense, we're happy.
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 9:12 am
by ballsohard
Would you mind giving a preseason ranking of teams in your division from the top down ?
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 9:52 am
by Xist2Inspire
: All right, here we go:
1. Washington Wizards
I expect us to win the division. It will not be easy at all, but I have set lofty goals for this season. This is by far the strongest team I've ever assembled, and so I demand excellence this season...or else.
2. Boston Celtics
Like every GM in the Atlantic with sense, I always have my eye on the Celtics. They've improved steadily year by year since the rebuild, and I believe that they're ready to compete for, and possibly retake, the division. Their roster is as solid and deep as it gets.
3. Orlando Magic
We've had this team on our "threat" list ever since their rebuild started, and their 1st-round victory over us in 2002-03 only made us more wary. Keith Van Horn will give them a great boost, and they'll be in the mix, but I'm not sold on either Damon or Devin being able to lead this team to a division title just yet. They're strong everywhere else, however.
4. Philadelphia 76ers
Aside from Baron, who is already in the running for best PG in the league in my opinion, this team is a fairly middle-of-the pack squad full of guys who are still developing (and Cuttino Mobley). However, I expect them to contend for a playoff spot now that they have a highly competent and active GM running the show.
5. Miami Heat
While the Nets are deeper, Miami has the better star, and still have a lot of solid blue-chippers surrounding LeBron, such as Ratliff, Mashburn, Potapenko, and Wesley. That being said, I don't think they'll be good enough to reach the playoffs as-is unless Raja Bell emerges as a legit high-level SG.
6. New Jersey Nets
This team lives and dies on the shoulders of Maggette, and now that he's taken a step back, I'm not sure that the Nets will be able to avoid the back end of the lotto. Starbury has proven absolutely nothing in this league in my opinion, either as a featured star or secondary/tertiary option, and the Nets need him to break from his "I gets mines" style of play if they want to go anywhere this season. This team has potential and is fairly deep, I'm just not sure if the pieces fit.
7. New York Knicks
If you're relying on Steve Smith (as a PF), Eric Snow, and Howard Eisley to play major, starting roles in 2004, then you've already lost. I don't know where their GM has been or what's going on, but his team is suffering mightily, even as Yao and Carmelo come into their own. Their lack of any kind of bench is startling.
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 1:26 pm
by Brian Windhorst
Do you feel destined to always be the bride's maid, never the bride?
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 2:38 pm
by Xist2Inspire
: Yeah, sometimes. I prefer to ignore the feeling entirely, but every once in a while it pops up. The concept of a relationship is a devilish one indeed...wait, that's not what we're talking about, is it...
: No, but please continue, this is fascinating.
: Oh, shut up. Well, to be perfectly honest, we haven't been competitive long enough for that feeling to set in. Now if we're still getting whacked by the Raptors or some other beastly team 5 years from now, then yeah, I'll feel just a tad bit cursed.
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 3:04 pm
by kucoach7
Nathan Sliver, sevenfortyseven.com: This question is for Shaq. Some say you're just simply not a winner but this year may be your best chance yet to win a championship. Even if you do win a championship this year do you feel it hurts your legacy because now you're playing second fiddle to Rashard?
Re: 2004 Wizards Press Conference (!)
Posted: Sun Nov 08, 2015 3:18 pm
by Xist2Inspire
: Heh heh heh.
: Shaddup. Way I see it, can't nobody in the league say that I haven't been dominant. Rings don't change that. Wilt only won 2, but what do they say about him? Dominant. And one puts me above D-Rob, Malone and Chuck, and what would you call them? Dominant. And let's not forget that the Lakers took me out in the 2000 Finals, otherwise I'd already have one. So my legacy is, and always will be, one word. Dominant.