#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

It’s a good thing too, because I’m visiting family in Chicago and don’t have my laptop, so I’m writing this presser entirely on my phone.

I expected a lot more from my Warriors last season, but a paltry 46 wins and a 1st round exit in the playoffs really stung, and when the season was over I was like



So I pretty much decided my build was shit and I needed to throw out my old playbook and retool everything.



So that’s exactly what I’ve done. I’ve gone on my phone to handle pretty much all my PBSL business this offseason, and the results have been great as far as I’m concerned. The major exits have been Ruland (traded), Natt (signed for too much with the Kings (sorry Darth, you will be very disappointed)), and Scott (traded). Shout out to Mike Lowry for being my primary trade partner this offseason, picking at the scraps of my what-should-have-been-good team. We got really satisfying returns for both Ruland and Scott, and when those guys pair with Magic? Bruh



Speaking of Magic, I thought for a hot second he was going to be a Warrior.



And boy was I Fryeing furious about that! But once I calmed down and had a beer (or three, who’s counting really), I realized my team was, aside from Magic, shit, and I probably would have traded him anyway. Crisis averted! Also, trade offers from LTS were mostly averted, but for the few hours I had Magic I did receive a few. I could really only say one thing to those offers.



We retained Michael Cooper on a team friendly deal, though, and we added some talent to replace Ruland: Chocolate Thunder himself, Darryl Dawkins, and from the Spurs Wayman Tisdale. We’re pretty damn happy with our offensively minded front court, even if it’s only guaranteed for one season.

Our crown jewel addition is last year’s leading scorer, Adrian Dantley. We’re thrilled he decided to sign with the Warriors, and paired with the offense of Tom Chambers? We got our eye on the big prize

Do we like our chances?



Is anyone gonna stick around after this season? Or even the entire season?



Well. Anyway, we’re just here to have some fun this season.



And with that I’ll take your questions.


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You have a mix of young and old players on your squad. Who would you say is the centerpiece of this team?

Also you gotta figure out how to make some money from this press conference, it's simply too good.

Do you still feel like Magic should still be a Warrior? Also Tisdale looks poised to make a Impact, do you plan on increasing his minutes at his natural position and not at PG like the Spurs used him last season?

Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: I see you shouted out MikeLowry for making deals, but how do you feel about the fact that his deal making was why you did not get Magic?

Justin Bieber, OnlyFans.com: During the preseason you finished tied for 1st place in the Pacific Division. Are you expecting a deep run in the playoffs? Also, asking for a friend, do you think Cavs should trade with Celtics for Ralph Sampson.

Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: A lot of the questions I’m sure resolve around almost adding Magic Johnson but how did your best player on the team, Tom Chambers feel about this possibility? It falling through, and his name being bandied about in various trade discussions throughout the offseason?

Steve Duin, the Oregonian:

With the asset sell-off that has been happening in Golden State, what are the chances we see Chambers going to San Antonio so you can get your 1989 first round pick back?

tbone963 wrote:You have a mix of young and old players on your squad. Who would you say is the centerpiece of this team?

Also you gotta figure out how to make some money from this press conference, it's simply too good.

Thanks re: the conference, I had a lot of fun preparing it.

Our centerpiece is still Tom Chambers. How could it not be? We had decent running mates with him last year in Ruland and Natt, but the combinations were off between the three. Also our big acquisition last year, Byron Scott, did not live up to our expectations.

We expect Dantley and Chmabers to lower each other’s point totals, but we reckon it’s going to be tough for teams to stop both players. They’re both scoring monsters.


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Eazy P wrote:Do you still feel like Magic should still be a Warrior? Also Tisdale looks poised to make a Impact, do you plan on increasing his minutes at his natural position and not at PG like the Spurs used him last season?

Tisdale will not even sniff the PG spot, and yes, we plan to use him every game for at least 20 minutes. In fact we wouldn’t be surprised to see him take even more minutes away from Chocolate Thunder depending on how well each of them performs this season.


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What would it take for you to make a decision about which direction your organization is headed?

AngryBanana wrote:Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: I see you shouted out MikeLowry for making deals, but how do you feel about the fact that his deal making was why you did not get Magic?

I can’t really blame him. To be honest I sent him an apology for taking Magic because he had his pushed all his chips in on his build WITH Magic. So no, I’m not mad about his deal making elsewhere.


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jlmarines wrote:Justin Bieber, OnlyFans.com: During the preseason you finished tied for 1st place in the Pacific Division. Are you expecting a deep run in the playoffs? Also, asking for a friend, do you think Cavs should trade with Celtics for Ralph Sampson.

Well I don’t know what to expect from this team and I still don’t. I thought we’d be a sleeper threat of a team but for reasons outside of my control I still haven’t played the people I want to play in the right positions yet. So when that happens I’d like to think we’ll be better, but maybe not. In which case the team is for sale.

I haven’t looked at Sampson in a hot minute but I heard he had a tc death 1 or 2 seasons ago. No clue what he can do now.


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NickMalone77 wrote:Nick Melon; Charlotte Observer: A lot of the questions I’m sure resolve around almost adding Magic Johnson but how did your best player on the team, Tom Chambers feel about this possibility? It falling through, and his name being bandied about in various trade discussions throughout the offseason?

Tom is a soldier. He knows the rules of war generate casualties and he doesn’t take it personally if he gets moved for whatever reason.

As far as adding magic? He was all about it! He’s carried the major load of this team for a while now and wondered what it would be like to share the load, but it’s looking like he’ll never know.


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WigNosy wrote:Steve Duin, the Oregonian:

With the asset sell-off that has been happening in Golden State, what are the chances we see Chambers going to San Antonio so you can get your 1989 first round pick back?

Nothing is off the table. We’re ready to look at all options.


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Mike Lowry wrote:What would it take for you to make a decision about which direction your organization is headed?

lol I have no idea. The right deal, the right offer, the right opportunity. We’ve been trapped in competitive purgatory, ready to rebuild but not for the wrong deal. So, we’ve waited, and will continue waiting until something makes sense.


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