#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

GOod morning (or afternoon or whatever the hell day this is), NPBSL Media. I might have a lot to say, or I could have a little to say. Depends on how drunk I get before I ask you guys if you have any questions.

GM Greepleairport throws back a cup of sake.

Last season was pretty awesome, all things considered. We made some big trades midseason that made us a problem for many other teams, and helped us cross the 50-win threshold. Calvin Natt and Michael Cooper were phenomenal acquisitions. We thought Natt took too many jumpshots, though, so when push came to shove we shoved him to the bench in the postseason against the Lakers. It was the right call. We took the champion Lakers seven games deep, and we’re mightily proud of that.

GM Greepleairport throws back a shot of Hennessy.

We may push him back to the bench in a 6th man role this year, too. Not really sure yet. He gets paid like a…

GM Greepleairport throws back a shot of…

He whisper“...hey, what is this again? Apple-infused vodka? Whatever-” … apple-infused vodka.

…Like a starter, but… Woo! Gross. But yeah, coach don’t care about that.

GM Greepleairport throws back a glass of red wine.

Let’s see what else… oh! Robert Parrish’s tenure in Golden State has come to an unceremonious end. We traded him for Fryeing nothing, I mean, we barely even shaved any salary in the deal. Huge mistake. Ol’ dude still had plenty to contribute to the squad off the bench, but alas he’ll be doing that in Boston instead. Hopefully they suck and we don’t have to meet them in the playoffs for a revenge series.

That would definitely stuck. Instead we have… some guy, I forgot his name, Thomas something, and he probably won’t see a single minute of playing time whatsoever. So that was a shit deal - I wish i was less drunk when I cut it.

Now, where was I here, what’s this…

GM Greepleairport throws back a shot of mezcal.

Hoo-eeeeeeeeeeee, now we’re talking! Okay, so Tom Chambers is the man, okay? He’s the man. And I guess Jeff Ruland is also the man. And together, they are men.

GM Greepleairport looks off stage and murmurs “Do I ask them to ask questions yet?” and throws back a shot of Everclear, but he thought it was really nasty vodka.

Got-DAYUM! Who made THAT vodka?! Man, they should switch professions. Anyways...

...So we got this new guy, Byron Scott… I think we spent too much money on his ass but I keep getting told he’s rad, so we’ll see. I bet this guy can’t drink ME under any tables. But nah, in all semi-seriousnessness, we’re excited to have him on the team. He’s... at the very least... a really nice guy. So I’m told, I never talked to the <expletive deleted>’ guy, haha! I mean, WHY would I do THAT?! What else we got here…

GM Greepleairport throws back a shot of apple pucker-up, a shot of jagermeister, a shot of Jim Beam, and a shot of Fireball.

So we’re gonna win the super bowl this year. We-

GM Greepleairport throws…up.

“...guh. Burp. We’re uHh… we’re gonna be pretty good (hiccup). …And we’re done here. Right? Any questions?”

GM Greepleairport falls asleep snoring into the microphone.

Do you see Byron Scott making a immediate impact for you warriors squad?

Steve Duin, the Oregonian:

Do you expect John Bagley's production to match his salary this year? Are you shopping for an upgrade at point guard?

The Warriors continue to make moves and fly under the radar, in terms of just overall success the last few seasons. Do you think the acquisition of Byron Scott is a pivotal point for this franchise's offensive gameplan that has focused on the front court dominance so much in recent years?

Justin Bieber, Teremana.com: Based on preseason results are you expecting to win your division?

Eazy P wrote: Mon Jan 26, 2026 2:57 pm Do you see Byron Scott making a immediate impact for you warriors squad?

Ya know, when we didn't get much action asking the Spurs about Kiki, we knew we wanted to throw a nice contract at Byron Scott. Now that we have him, and looked closer at his numbers, we're not really sure why his potential hasn't been unleashed! He seems like he should be a 20ppg shooting guard, easily, but he faded into the background of the Spurs and, after one sim, he was in the background of the Warriors, too. Dammit! We hope he makes more of an impact in the sims to come, because we spent a lot on his ass.

WigNosy wrote: Mon Jan 26, 2026 2:58 pm Steve Duin, the Oregonian:

Do you expect John Bagley's production to match his salary this year? Are you shopping for an upgrade at point guard?

Hmm, interesting question. We think Bagley's production does match his salary. Already! He's on a very reasonable deal (especially with max deals now starting over $2m, Bagley's locked in to top out at a cool $862,000 if his team option gets exercised), and he's almost nabbing double digit assists. We didn't expect much more from him besides running a competent offense and not looking a fool on defense. He's a solid role-playing PG. We could look for others (Mo Cheeks is probably still better), but the thought hasn't crossed our minds.

...yet.

IamQuailman wrote: Mon Jan 26, 2026 3:01 pm The Warriors continue to make moves and fly under the radar, in terms of just overall success the last few seasons. Do you think the acquisition of Byron Scott is a pivotal point for this franchise's offensive gameplan that has focused on the front court dominance so much in recent years?

...Are we successful? lol if you say so

Going after a player like Byron Scott does signal the end of our monster big men era. I'm not sure the league is ready for this kind of build - and it looks like our offense isn't sure how to adapt to it quite yet either, because our outside game still sucks - but we decided to pivot and see what happens. No one over 6'10" will get any playing time this season. Pretty Fryeing crazy for my golden state warriors. It's truly the end of an era. We'll see what happens I guess...

jlmarines wrote: Mon Jan 26, 2026 3:53 pm Justin Bieber, Teremana.com: Based on preseason results are you expecting to win your division?

hey, jlmarines! whats crackin, homie! long time no sim league. you should trade me moncrief.

no, seriously though, I think we built a damn fine team. Will it execute the way I hope? I don't know. Sim 1 was pretty underwhelming, but we're out here trying, dang it. We'll see how effective this build turns out with time.

This seems like a very complete build that can grow together.
How much patience will you afford them when it comes to winning?
What would you consider to be success this season?

Mike Lowry wrote:This seems like a very complete build that can grow together.
How much patience will you afford them when it comes to winning?
What would you consider to be success this season?

Grow together?! Man, these bums got ONE SEASON to get their shit together. Coop’s and Natt’s contracts are up after this - no telling if they’re coming back or not. Would be nice, but not a guarantee. So that’s leaves me with Scott, ruland, bagley and big boi chambers. And that ain’t bad! But it’s a lot thinner unless we add a piece or three. I don’t like our first sim. That was a bad omen for what we wanna do this season, but the Lakers went 3-5 so I shouldn’t cry too many tears I guess…


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