#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

digiskunk: With the 1983 season now upon us, I am happy to welcome you to our pre-season press conference. Today, I hope to lay out some plans regarding our immediate future, as well as address any immediate concerns that may be on the minds of fans.

Let's start off with last season, which was an utmost disappointment given our pre-season expectations. Despite having the inflappable Norm Nixon and Larry Nance on our team, we were unable to make much of a splash in the league, leading us to a 35-47 finish. I'd comment on the performances of some of our key players, but those key players are gone this upcoming season, so it would be a pointless endeavor.

Instead, let's fast forward to this off-season, which was busier than usual. The draft lottery left us in the position to draft the last blue-potential player (Sedale Threatt) who just so happened to be orange overall—meaning he wasn't going to make an impact for a long, long time. I really did not give a shit about Sedale; he was worthless to me; lower than dirt.

We immediately received trade offers and I decided to bite, essentially revamping our entire team. We ended up trading Larry Nance, Mychal Thompson, and Sedale Threatt; and in return, we acquired a talented group of players which included the extremely young Danny Ainge, who can pretty much do it all. He was the main reason for the trade, interestingly enough.

Free agency was definitely rigged this season. I tried to bring in another key player but didn't manage to sign anybody major. However, we did bring back Gerald Henderson, who still hasn't reached his full potential.

There is so much more that I could comment on, but I want to leave things open so the press has the opportunity to ask questions. And with that said, lett'er rip!

Bump

How do you think you stack up in the Atlantic Division? Are you looking to make any moves to boost your team this year?

logpmess wrote: Mon Jun 09, 2025 3:23 pm How do you think you stack up in the Atlantic Division? Are you looking to make any moves to boost your team this year?

To answer your first question: We don't look good. Just refer to our preseason record of 1-5—it's atrocious! However, we're going to try and shake things up this year: In an era of big men, we're going more compact and with more jump shooting. Because we have this in spades, I hope to move some of our players to help better our team come next season.

I want to talk about Cummings. How do you feel about Cummings? Do you like Cummings? How well do you know Cummings? Tell us more about Cummings?

Darth Vegito wrote: Mon Jun 09, 2025 3:47 pm I want to talk about Cummings. How do you feel about Cummings? Do you like Cummings? How well do you know Cummings? Tell us more about Cummings?

Pat? Oh, Pat. Yeah, Pat likes having a good time. He's best known around these parts for hitting up the clubs, getting his squirt game on. You should see him in action; he's got a gift. He has a lot of potential, too—both as a sexual partner (for others) and as a basketball player. He's going to be playing a lot of time at the 5 this season due to our lack of BIG MEN

You said in an earlier reply that you don't look good. While it's fair to say you're off to a tough start with an alarming point differential, is it possible you're overreacting to a sim where your team almost split their games, with 5 of 7 games on the road?

greepleairport wrote: Mon Jun 09, 2025 7:22 pm You said in an earlier reply that you don't look good. While it's fair to say you're off to a tough start with an alarming point differential, is it possible you're overreacting to a sim where your team almost split their games, with 5 of 7 games on the road?

I really I hope I was overreacting.. I definitely did not see a few victories coming out of this sim, but I'll take it!